Tomorrow is another day
by GwtwFanWriter
Summary: All her life, Scarlett wanted to be a great lady just like her mother but knew deep inside that she never could. Rhett showered her with wealth to show her that character and not riches was the key to gentility. When Scarlett realizes the truth, Rhett leaves her. But in a twisted turn of events, there lies a chance for Rhett and Scarlett to fall in love again. (Chap 30 altered)
1. Chapter 1

**TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Scarlett lay down on the deepest sofa in the library and gently massaged her aching head. The sounds of the carriage pulling down the driveway came to her ears. The carriage had come to take Rhett to the station. If she had walked up to the windows, she could have seen Rhett's tall, dark form skipping lightly down the steps, handing over his one bag to the coachman and swinging himself into the carriage without taking another look back at the Peachtree house, his home of five years. But Scarlett could not bear the sight of him leaving. Besides witnessing such a dismal sight would dampen her determination to get Rhett back. The light in the room seemed to fade. Suddenly, there appeared a gleaming candlestick on the table beside her. Scarlett watched the soft, glimmering flame in drowsy, listless sleep. "One of the servants must have kept it" thought Scarlett, distantly. She sighed. The world always seemed to march right on irrespective of her troubles. "Aunt Pittypat, India and Ashley would be making preparations for Melly's funeral, her own children idling their time away in some part of this great house and Will managing the fields of Tara- And here she was, heartbroken and confused and no one spared a thought about her-"

Scarlett opened her eyes, realizing for the first time how very tired she was from her trip back from Marieta. And she was hungry too.

"Miss Scarlett ma'am? "

Scarlett looked up and saw Pork standing at the doorway with the tea tray in his hands. Her face brightened with gratitude. "Oh, set it down here, Pork. I'm so tired and famished-"

She munched into the sandwiches and gulped down her coffee. Pork lingered for a while and then ventured,

"We was wondering when Miss. Melly's funeral going to be held because we would like to pay our respects too.."

"Melly's funeral?", wondered Scarlett, blankly. She collected her thoughts with an effort. " I suppose it will be held tomorrow afternoon, Pork. And of course you and the others can come to the burial. " A fresh wave of pain distorted her pale face. "Pork, did you see Captain Butler off to the train? "

"Yes, ma'am"

"Did you see him get into the coach?"

"Yes, ma'am"

"I see", mumbled Scarlett sinking back into the chair. So, Rhett had left Atlanta after all.

"I thought that Mist. Rhett would have stayed for Miss. Melly's funeral. He always set a store by her.. her being a mighty fine lady"

"Yes, yes, I know he did." snapped Scarlett, impatiently. She was in no mood to discuss Melly's goodness when her whole being was ravaged with pain. "Pork, tell Prissy to pack my bags. Right after the funeral, we are leaving for Tara. And bring my writing case and some papers. I suppose Aunt. Pitty would already have written to Will and Suellen about Melanie's death but I'll write to them just the same. "

* * *

Initially, the fact that Rhett no longer loved her was the only thing that seemed to register in Scarlett mind. But as the night wore on, a few points in their last conversation began to strike her as odd. For one thing, how could one's love possibly wear out? If Rhett wanted to bring her to her knees by ending his relationship with her, then he had certainly succeeded and she did deserve it for all the times she had scorned and rebuffed him. But to declare that he no longer loved her must be a lie. Why they have shared so much together. They built this fine house, ran the mills and strengthened Tara- Rhett seemed to talk as if these things didn't matter! If he hadn't married her, he never would have had Bonnie and drinking himself silly was his own idea of getting over Bonnie death. The only blunder she had made was her stubborn chase after Ashley. She should have known that he was hardly a match for her nature. She remembered Gerald's words and rued her doggedness that began during that fateful barbecue at Twelve Oaks.

"Rhett loved me all along..." realized Scarlett, still marveling at this truth. "He loved me even when he saw me yelling hysterically at Ashley. I was taking of love and lashing out in hate... and he watched it all and loved me.."

Another puzzling question rose in her head. The idea of Rhett being afraid to speak of his love because she might laugh at him. She couldn't remember a time when she did. In fact she could remember several times when he had ridiculed, baited and embarrassed her. The only time she had taunted him was that night after Melly's that was only because he was so nasty and disgustingly drunk. She had told him off and she had always meant to make him jump through hoops but she never actually did. Come to think of it, she had never laughed openly at Frank or Charles. It was as if Rhett had read too much into her occasional rants and assumed that she would laugh at him.

"He assumed so many silly lies and now the biggest lie of all.. that he no longer loves me-"

* * *

Scarlett finished her letters and had them dispatched at once. Now the thing to do was to make quick repairs to her appearance and return to Ashley's house. Everyone would be wondering where Melly's sister-in-law was.

"I'm going as far away from Ashley as possible. I won't give anymore room for gossip" thought Scarlett fervently. Then once again she remembered something Rhett had said. He had said something about her always thinking of Ashley.

"I admit I did-" thought Scarlett." But that night at New Orleans was the only time I had longed for Ashley's presence. Other times, I was too busy to even think of Ashley. I was having such a good time with Rhett!" Scarlett frowned. Somehow Rhett assumed that she thought of Ashley all the time!

Scarlett climbed up the grand staircase with an illusion of vigor which a cup of strong, bitter coffee usually gives. She knew that she must look a terrible sight since she had ran all the way from Ashley's house. Prissy sprang to her feet when she saw Scarlett for she had momentarily sat down on the thick luxurious bedroom rug to admire the delicate lace on Scarlett's inner wear.

"I told you to pack my bags! What are you doing on the floor, you silly goose ? Now, leave that mess and come fix my hair. I should have been at Ashley's house ages ago-"

* * *

Dressed anew in a freshly pressed mourning gown, Scarlett made her final touches to the little black lace that covered her face and pulled on her delicate lace gloves. She picked up her purse and counting the notes, she hurriedly left the room. As she passed one of the several rooms on her way back to the stairs, she saw the door to one of the rooms ajar. There was no light in the room save for the misty evening light that illuminated the large window. A small figure was scrunched up awkwardly on the window set. Muffled sounds of someone crying came to her ears.

"Wade?" called Scarlett as she entered the room. "Whatever are you doing here in the dark?!" Then she realized that two of the people who had encouraged and loved Wade were gone. She remembered Wade's wild hoops with Melly and his carefree chatter with Rhett, Without them mollycoddling him, Wade would probably retreat back into his frightened shell. But Scarlett decided firmly that she wouldn't let him. "Wade honey, come here- You remember that fine piece of music that you played on the piano at Aunt. Melly's house? I know you've been practicing to play at Bonnie's funeral service.. that hymn about our forefathers and God and the land across the ocean- I think Uncle Ashley would like you to play that after the service tomorrow- "

"But Uncle Rhett didn't want me to play at all during Bonnie's service-"

"Uncle Rhett had a hard time staying strong, Wade. He just couldn't bear losing her and that's why we kept the service short. But tomorrow, we are going to have a full formal service because lots of people in Atlanta loved your Aunt and they are going to come and pay their respects. If you played for them, why, even Aunt Melly might smile down at you from Heaven above-"

Wade reluctantly jumped down from the window seat and rubbing his eyes with his sleeve, sauntered up to Scarlett. She laid a hand on his shoulder and led him out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was well past midnight when Scarlett undressed and crawled into her bed. It had been exhausting standing in the sidelines, watching several families grieving around Ashley and India, whispering their words of comfort to one another and then collapsing into gloom again. And Scarlett had sat in a corner, alone and depressed with Beau on her lap. He was crying most of the time and finally fell asleep in her arms. Dilcey immediately rushed to put the boy to sleep for Beau had thrown a full blown tantrum to remain by Scarlett's side throughout the dreary evening. Scarlett felt strangely pleased that Beau should seek her presence like this but also a trifle annoyed since she was bring ignored by everybody else.

Thinking she would fall asleep right away, Scarlett wearily pulled the covers over her slim frame. But she was well past the initial tiredness and now her nerves were raw and alert to the faintest discomforts. And she thought of Rhett.

Scarlett pressed her face into her pillow and began to cry. She remembered his words about how he wanted to love her tenderly and pamper and spoil her. The first time when he had pressed her tear-stained face into his shirt and the comforting smells of brandy, tobacco and horses.. how he had carried her in his arms when she woke up crying from her nightmares and soothed her as a father soothes a child.. Tears poured freely down her cheeks and the pillow was damp. For the first time she realized that she needed someone to constantly love her, someone who gave her attention always and never grew tired of her. That was what love was. Love was constant attention and approval. Rhett had dared to love her and she had ruined it all.

Scarlett wept in desolation. The full impact of never being able to see those black eyes dance at her in merriment, those warm brown arms snaking around her body, the hot breath on her face and those lips which parted hers. How easily he could send her into that hot swirling darkness and how correctly he had judged that she would enjoy his kisses. At last she had found the man who could handle her wild temper, indulge her every whim, make her laugh with coarse, earthy humor and she had been so dense that she had rejected every attempt he had made to reveal his heart to her.

 **"Oh, such a stupid fool-"** , cried Scarlett, her words in a mangled cry. Her hand feebly pounded the bed beside her, while her body shook with emotion. She was lonely and frightened. She wanted Rhett. She needed Rhett. She had tried to think as much as she could about why he should desert her. But she couldn't anymore. Nothing he said mattered except that he didn't love her.

The cries, first heartbroken and frantic, lessened softer and softer with fatigue and finally ebbed away. Scarlett was at last asleep. Scarlett could not understand the words Rhett had spoken since she did not know his mind. And understanding was further made impossible by the fact that she did not know her own mind either. She could never explain herself, even if she tried. The truth was, she was incapable of explaining herself. Rhett said that he wanted her mind. But if she herself did not know her mind, how could she give it to him?

* * *

An extremely solemn, quaint old-fashioned service was held for Melanie the next day afternoon. During most of the prayers, Scarlett's eyes peered through the veil at Melanie's sweet heart shaped face, now gray and lifeless. Biting back tears, she diverted her gaze to the newly reconstructed church interior, the paintings, stain glass windows, wall hangings, the ornate statues. Yes, it had been a long time since Scarlett was within the walls of a church.

"A gentleman caught in a world he doesn't belong in, trying to make a poor best of it by the rules of a world that's gone-". Those were Rhett's words when he described Ashley. Scarlett began to understand this as she saw Ashley now. He was deathly pale but even in his grief, he followed every fastidious custom of the Old South. Scarlett peered around and saw several of the Old Guard in full attendance. Not one Yankee in sight!

Scarlett took comfort from the fact that Wade played extremely well on the piano after the service. She smiled and he flushed, happy that he had managed to attract his mother's attention. The time came for the family and friends to view the body one last time. Scarlett had her hands on Wade's shoulders as she followed the line that moved at snail's pace around Melanie's body. Mrs. Elsing was before her and although she had seen Scarlett, she turned her head away, refusing to acknowledge her presence. Scarlett was upset by this cold gesture but as Rhett had prophesied, she had made too many mistakes by supporting the Yankee government and then appearing as a Scallawag in the eyes of the Southern gentry. And although she regretted it now, the last person who could have believed that she had made an honest mistake, lay cold in the grave.

Melanie.. sweet, trusting, kind-hearted Melanie.. She had understood Scarlett and she had loved Scarlett.. Now she was gone, leaving Scarlett to face the old cats of her society. Scarlet could never get back to their good graces and soon they would all ignore her..

Just then, Scarlett reached the coffin where Melanie Wilkes's body lay. In a tumult of sadness, she cried, "Oh Melanie, Melanie.. I shall miss you so!"

Mrs. Elsing turned in shock at this outburst. But Scarlett didn't care. She didn't care if the whole world was watching. And even,if they did, let them see how much she loved Melanie.

"I could stand things before because I thought I loved Ashley.. but now I don't have anyone.. I might as well show others that I'm no braver than them-"

Scarlett kissed Melanie's cold forehead and again, she could feel the cold gaze of the Southern families, watching her.. judging her..

Wade took her hand in his, protectively and they made their way back to the pews.

* * *

After the service, Scarlett stood alone on the lawns waiting for Aunt. Pittypat and India. Mrs. Merriweather made a bee-line for her, her mouth set in a grim, disapproving line. "Good day, Scarlett, I was looking for Captain Butler, I don't see him amongst our crowd-"

"He had to go away rather suddenly on a very important business trip-"

"I see."

Two little words. But the tone of voice and the slanting of the shrewd old eyes conveyed so much suspicion and condemnation. Scarlett knew that now that Melanie Wilkes was dead, the entire matron circle of Atlanta eagerly expected the sensational divorce between Scarlett and Rhett and a whirlwind marriage to Ashley Wilkes who was now free and available. It was no secret that the marriage between Scarlett and Rhett had not been a happy one. After Bonnie's death, Rhett had the town's sympathy but Scarlett was despised as cold, cruel and having set her hooks on Ashley Wilkes. Now with Rhett's abrupt departure, it raised even more thrilling suspicions. Why did Captain Butler leave so urgently? What could be so important that he could not spend one afternoon, mourning for the loss of Mrs. Wilkes whom he had clearly respected as a fine Southern lady?

The thoughts running through Mrs. Merriweather's head, pounded and thundered at Scarlett. With a faint nod, full of meaning, she made her leave. Scarlett watched her bulky form disappear into the crowds with bitterness.

Before, she could stand the scorn and anger of the Southern society with the hopes of securing Ashley's heart. But now she no longer loved him and the one man who could have made her laugh at all this was probably in Paris or England. Now she was an outcast.. a betrayer who had fraternized with the Yankees and was a notorious Scallawag. Although Scarlett now understood the implications of her thoughtless actions, she longed to cry out that everything was an honest mistake. She had never meant to cut off her friends. She was only misguided enough to think that safety and security lay in wealth and power. But she was wrong. Oh, so wrong.. and the one person who could have believed her was dead.

"I'm sorry we took so long, Scarlett", said India, finally appearing at her side. " There is a carriage at the gate. We shall sit there and wait while they dig the grave.." India slipped an arm through Scarlett's and the latter shot a look of surprise.

They made their way to the gate and Ashley stood there, meeting and talking to distant cousins and friends whom he and Melanie had helped after the war. With her sweetness and generosity, Melly had helped many a soldier and now they arrived to pay their respects. There were so many flowers and candles. So much respect and affection.

When Ashley saw Scarlett, he inquired, "Where is Rhett? Is he talking to someone inside the church?"

Scarlett shot a glance in India's direction and saw her deep in conversation with some friend. In a flash of courage, she decided to tell Ashley the truth. The time may be inappropriate but Scarlett felt her head would burst if she kept her sorrows to herself. "He left me" she said, her green eyes shining brightly with tears. "Oh Ashley, he thought you and I were in love and he left me.."

Ashley listened to this with lack of surprise or shock on his weary face. Instead, he quietly turned away and stared afar. As Scarlett gazed at him, she realized that Ashley looked rather guilty..As if this news were no surprise to him. As if he expected it.

"Why, Ashley, did you suspect this would happen?" , began Scarlett, in shock. "You don't seem..."

"We mustn't speak of this now. This is hardly the time."

"But Ashley, did you.."

"Yes, I did-"

"But.. how?"

"It was something Melanie told me, a month ago.."

Scarlett grew frantic. "Oh, what did she tell you? What did Melly say?"

Ashley's eyes wandered to the gravel road and at the large carriage that arrived bearing the entire family of Benteens and Mammy.

"Dearest, you must wait. Your sister's family has arrived and we must attend to them or else they will think us rude."

Consumed by curiosity and angered by this interruption, Scarlett swallowed her frustration and followed Ashley to greet and mourn with her family.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Scarlett realized with growing apprehension that Mrs. Merriweather will not be the only one to inquire after Rhett's mysterious disappearance. As the hours wore on, she began to wish heartily that Rhett had delayed his departure by one day. Especially after they had all been invited very kindly by Dr. Meade and Mrs. Meade for supper at their home. Ashley's house was shrouded in gloom and the invitation had been a welcome one. But even as she entered the house, Dr. Meade asked her where Rhett was. Scarlett gave the same reason but the doctor pursued the topic, wondering innocently about the nature of work which might have dragged the Captain away with such urgency. Mrs. Meade's eyes widened knowingly and she hushed the doctor from behind the chair. Scarlett noticed her gaze divert for just a few seconds to Ashley's direction and she flushed angrily. Across the table sat a broken man who seemed to double over with the guilt of not having told his wife how much he loved and needed her. His world of books and music had filled his mind and heart with so many abstractions that although the his wife had given him her all, he had hardly given anything of himself except his fears and his dreams. Scarlett understood this now. She saw him as clearly as day. And as she continued this vein of thought, she realized that Ashley would survive Melly's death. He would merely waft back into his world and come out whenever it was absolutely necessary.

"And to think I once thought I loved him!"

* * *

Scarlett kept her promise to herself by staying as far away from Ashley as possible. But she also burned with curiosity about what Melly had to say regarding her black-haired husband.

Years ago, if Melanie had supported or talked kindly of Scarlett, the latter would have attributed Melanie's christian goodness to smugness or pride. But it was strange how her perception had changed so drastically with Melly's death. Now Melanie's words seemed wise and full of sincere affection. If she had said something about Rhett, surely it must be something useful and good.

Aunt Pitty fussed about with her smelling salts and spent most of the evening on the big sofa in the front hall. First she would recall some sweet memory of Melly and then sinkinto a pleasurable fainting spell. She left early with India by her side. India seemed to have grown kinder and wiser now. For some strange reason, she continued her kindness to Scarlett. Scarlett puzzled her head over this and decided that perhaps India was nice to her since Scarlett had contributed generously towards the funeral and burial expenses as well as the headstone and the engravings. They took Beau along with them so that night Scarlett had the opportunity of speaking to Ashley atlast about Rhett. She ignored the disguised outrage of the Meades and mounted into the coach after Ashley.

* * *

"Ashley, please.. dont keep me waiting any longer. What did Melly tell you?"

Ashley leaned into his seat and smiled a watery smile. "Months ago, Scarlett.. the time when you had that terrible fall and lost your baby- Melanie came back from attendin you and her face, so transparent and susceptible to the realities of the world was red and full of guilt. I knew immediatly that she was frightrned and flustered over something and I also knew that she would take atleast a week to bring up the courage to tell me. Melly never kept secrets, you see. "

"Then one night, as we were going to sleep, she turned to me in tears and confessed that she had hidden something from me for a very long time."

"What did she say?"

"Scarlett, until then, I never realized that Rhett loved you. I assumed tgat he had married you for your vivaciousness, your beauty.. He made your faults so conspicuous that I assumed that he loved to tease and torment you. But when I realized how wrong I was, I.. I stayed away. "

"I dont understand"

Ashley took her gloved hands in his. "Darling, he thought he had killed you when you fell down those steps. Oh I know you told the doctor that you had tripped but Rhett still punished himself with guilt. He cried to Melly outside your sickroom-"

"He did?!" ,gasped Scarlett, tears forming quickly in her emerald green eyes.

Ashley smiled more to himself than to Scarlett. "When a man cries for such things, Scarlett, you can be sure that it is love. But what Melly told next was even more startling.. Rhett told Melanie.. cried to her that you didnt love him. That you had never loved or cared for him, that you didn't want his children-"

"Oh, that's not true! " cried Scarlett, vehemently. She pulled out her handkercheif and blew her nose. Now she realized the cold politeness thst Rhett had shown during her convalesence. He had stopped loving her then. He had somehow convinced himself that night that he had made a mistake and stopped loving her.

"Then I realized my mistake. I should have never interferred in your marriage-"

"You, Ashley?! When did you ever interfere?"

"That day at the mill, when I ranted about Rhett Butler. How he had coarsened your fineness and brutalized you with his touches. Dont you see, my darling, I put those thoughts into your head. I, out of my own selfishness, twisted your thoughts, not he.."

"That's right" thought Scarlett, stunned. "I wanted to keep myself, physically, for you.. "

"When Melanie told me all this, I wanted do much to leave yo New York. I should have done so. But like the coward that I am, I stayed. We came into some money suddenly andI was able to make an offer for your mills."

"Yes, you bought them from me-"

"Melanie told me on her deathbed thst Rhett had given the money so that Beau would have a good education-"

Scarlett was too stunned to speak. She knew instinctively that that wasnt the reason at all. And seeing the red flush on Ashley's face, she knew that he knew too. "Ashley, don't tell me anymore. I am too tired to think-

"There isn't anymore to tell. But now tgst you know about the mills-"

"I dont want the mills. You keep them. I dont want them anymore, I-"

"Poor darling, you musnt lose hope. If you could go to Charleston-" The carriage stopped outside the Peachtree house and Scarlett thankfully lept outside. She was tired of Ashley just as she was tired of everyone else. But she did understand tgat Rhett had cried for her love. Cried and then hardened his heart sk tgat he wouldnt get hurt snymore and then he had separated her from Ashley.

"He is right. I must go to Charleston." Scarlett tottered on her feet. "But I am so afraid-"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Scarlett tried to justify her fears. After all, Rhett wasn't the easiest of men to handle. He could be cruel and cynical, flashing that cool, mocking grin. But then, she had to admit that during their final conversation, Rhett had lost his old sardonic self and had appeared tired and distant with an utter lack of interest in the world around him. Just why was she afraid to pursue him to Charleston?

"For one thing, I loathe Charleston!", declared Scarlett to herself. She remembered the snobbery of that coastal region's gentlefolk. The emphasis they placed on family and lineage. If they had looked down on her Irish descent then, they would do the same now. Perhaps even more since, her sister had married a cracker and the other had joined a Catholic convent. She knew that Charleston's families still tried to salvage the pre-war ways and hadn't succumbed to change as much as Atlanta. Young girls there would have rather remained as old maids than marry a cracker. And she suspected that her aunts might have gossiped about her store and mills to the ladies of that fair South Carolina city. Moreover, she hardly knew the events that unfolded in Charleston after the war. If everyone took upon themselves over Fort Sumpter, now they would talk endlessly about the Klu Klux who had their headquarters somewhere in that region, the various riots, massacres, confiscation and rebellions. People would tell and retell these stories with glowing patriotic fervour that Scarlett already felt she would scream.

Then there was the problem of Rhett's family. Until now, Scarlett had hardly bothered to cultivate good relations with her husband's family. She had assumed that Rhett spent most of his time drinking and gambling at Belle Wattling's sporting house and had hardly given the matter further interest or thought. But now she remembered that the Butler family was one of the best, most cultured and revered families in Charleston. No doubt they would cling emphatically to several tedious manners and customs long discarded by Scarlett as boring and confining.

Right then, she remembered that she would have to wear plain black crepe for the next three months to mourn Melly's death. Social visiting was out of the question. Scarlett took comfort his in her stride. She would stay in Tara for three months and keep up correspondence with Mrs. Butler. She would be so charming and pleasing that she was sure to receive a formal invitation to the. house on the Battery in three months time! Scarlett built upon the idea. Less would be expected from a woman just out from mourning and it was very easy to play into the hearts of women by-

"Women!" ,realized Scarlett, with a start. During her grand receptions at her Peachtree house,she had been more intent on having a gay time with her charming friends from New Orleans than developing friendships through sincere affection and genuine kindness. Now she would have to remember the teachings of Ellen, her oft repeated words on being more subtle and sedate. Yes, she could manage that but under the piercing eyes of Rhett Butler, who took perverse delight in exposing hypocrisy, she was not so sure. And if he didn't trouble himself, she would always suspect that he eyed her activities through thinly veiled contempt.

The idea of Rhett holding her in contempt crippled Scarlett's charm. She had been quick to flirt with men, say sweet, scatter-brained things that soothed their vanity and gotten them to propose to her and laughed in contempt at how silly men were and how easily them fell for her charms.

Now she wondered if Rhett thought of her the same way. She had tried everything from tears to reason. Nothing could keep him in Atlanta. Now, how could she possibly inspire any passion in him without stirring up a great deal of contempt?

These thoughts weighed heavily on Scarlett's mind as she entered her house. But if she had known the events occurring in the Butler family that very day, perhaps she needn't have worried so much. Especially if she had heard the first two questions that Mrs. Butler had asked her son the moment he crossed the threshold- what he was doing there? And where was Scarlett?

* * *

Suellen eyed her sister over the breakfast table the next day and cattily wondered why Mammy had left Scarlett for Tara. "I hounded her for an answer,Scarlett since Mammy has always been so loyal to you but Mammy evades all my questions- she simply won't reveal why she left this great house to come back to the plantation."

Mammy, who could never keep from working, had assumed her duties that day and was just then entering the hall with a tray laden with hot cakes. She evidently heard Suellen's hinting words but turned an impassive face to the family. Scarlett realised that Suellen had boiled with envy at the comforts and grandeur of her Peachtree house and now wishing to catch her at her breakpoints was targeting Mammy's mysterious refusal to work at Peachtree house. Sullen already suspected an impending divorce between Rhett and Scarlett. She looked forward to it with relish.

"You let Mammy be, Miss. Sue" snapped Scarlett, tartly. "Mammy's old now and she has every right to go to Tara if she wanted to. Of course we all miss her very much but she's been so faithful that she deserves to have an easier life at Tara. " Scarlett looked at Mammy and caught the look of gratitude in her old eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Winter was coming to Tara. But before dainty white hands tugged warm cashmere shawls closer and eager black hands kindled roaring fires, there was the glorious autumn reprieve. Oak trees in varying shades of brown stood like timeless stalwarts against the blushing orange and red of the sugar maple trees. The countryside seemed to burst into a riot of colors, bordered at the horizon by red rolling hills and dark sighing pines. As Scarlett gazed at the fiery foliage, she likened the burning beauty of the trees to the blazing fire in Rhett Butler's coal black eyes. That intense penetrating look. Eyes that followed her every move like a cat watching a mouse hole. It had annoyed her before in New Orleans. That must have been the brief interlude of autumn before winter extended its icy fingers around his heart and turned him so bitter and cold. Scarlett's heart grew heavy as the coach turned down one winding lane and Five Points disappeared from view. Although Tara was waiting with open arms of comfort, Atlanta was where Rhett had courted and married her. Every street, repaired and renamed, reminded her of the buggy rides he had given her, her lithe figure in sharp contrast beside his bold,masculine form. Every hall sang memories of danceables and every house, of pre-war parties. Tara could give her no wistful reminiscences of Rhett simply because he had never come to Tara. Scarlett's heart began to twist in pain. Suddenly the glow of returning home disappeared. The familiar, muddy red roads stirred no happiness in her and the unfolding green wilderness seemed dull and lifeless. Just why hadn't she ever brought Rhett to her plantation home? Why ever had she been content to bring only Wade and Ella alone? Then her conscience accused her of her preoccupation with Ashley.

"They were the two men to whom I spoke of my love." thought Scarlett, sadly. "And both of them didn't believe me. Ashley gave some nonsensical twaddle-twaddle about me being so full of life and spirit and Rhett carried on as if I was some spoilt-"

A thought struck Scarlett. Why, she had never given Rhett a proper explanation of why she had lost her love for Ashley. She had tried to toss Ashley away from their conversation as irrelevant but obviously Rhett would need a more convincing reason for her changing affections. That's why he was so suspicious and disbelieving!

She remembered these words,

 _"Something, someone has made you realize that the unfortunate Mr. Wilkes is too large a mouthful of Dead Sea fruit for even you to chew. And that same something has suddenly set my charms before you in a new and attractive light."_

"He thinks I might still compare and tease him with Ashley. That's why he is so afraid to tell me that he loves me!"

Scarlett's green eyes lit up with dawning hope. "But if I tell him, then he can't pretend that he doesn't care any longer-"

Her spirits rose at this. She watched the changing scenery with renewed pleasure. How quickly the coach swallowed up the miles to Tara. Why, they were down the red cedar avenue already! Scarlett smiled and her cheeks dimpled. Tara gave her strength and Tara gave her hope. Once she reconciled with Rhett, she promised herself right then that she would bring him to Tara. He must see her love for this gorgeous red earth, the wide vistas of the plantation home, the furrowed hills and the pines. New Orleans was luxurious and entertaining, Atlanta was raw and exciting but Tara- Tara was everything! She belonged to Tara just as much as Tara belonged to her.

Then at the back of her mind, there rose a nagging fear of Rhett refusing to have another child with her. "Oh but he couldn't have meant it!" dismissed Scarlett. "Rhett was just angry and upset for being ignored by me for so long that he rebuffed me the first real chance he got. But when he knows that I truly love him-"

Scarlett was distracted from her train of thought by the road leading across the river and up the hill to a place where there had once stood a beautiful white-columned house. Twelve Oaks had graced that hill and the sights of the gardens and the shade under the great oaks was still fresh in Scarlett's memory. "Twelve Oaks was Ashley's world" she mused. Then she stared down the road to Tara. Tara must be her world too but Scarlett could never think of it that way. Of course it was a fine plantation and she drew her strength from it but she could never lose herself in idle fantasy. Life was too short and it had to be lived through fine dancing, parties, feasts and fun. Scarlett shook her head at how silly it was that Ashley would rather die than to live in a changed world.

* * *

Early morning, Scarlett, now settled in her room at Tara, set off towards the direction of her parents' grave. Ella made a garland of cape jessamine flowers and this she carried, along with assorted blooms gathered from the gardens to adorn the headstones. The last time she feared she'd lost Ashley, she sought the comfort of her mother's presence and now again, after losing Rhett, she longed for the same. Ellen had all the answers. Ellen always knew just what to do.

She reached the small area by the trees and sat down on a rock nearby, her crepe veil fluttering in the gentle autumn breeze. Her eyes fell on Ellen's grave, so silent and surrounded by trimmed patch of grass. A few wildflowers had grown here and there, specks of color in the green. Her father's gravestone was chipped and a small crack ran almost to the middle. Tall grass grew here, unkempt and wild.

"Even in their graves, they seem so different." thought Scarlett, wondering for the hundredth time how two people, so different in disposition could have loved and lived together for so many years.

She heard heavy breathing and turned to see Mammy shuffling towards her with a shawl in her hands. "Miss. Scarlett, I wanna thanks you for speaking those kind words about me to Miss. Suellen. She's been at me for weeks about why I quit your house and hurried on back to Tara-"

"Oh, she's just a plain old cat, Mammy." retorted Scarlett. "Don't you pay any attention to her!" A small tear fell down Mammy's cheeks upon hearing this and she lifted her apron and dabbed at her eyes.

"When I left your house and came back to Tara ,I felt so ashamed cause Miss. Ellen never called me back home. That was just what I said cause I couldn't understand what was going on between you and Mist. Rhett. All that yelling and screaming, blaming each other over the little Miss's death-"

"Mammy dear, all that doesn't matter now" said Scarlett, her features softening with feeling.

"Miss. Ellen would have told me to go on back and stick right next to my little lamb"

The next minute or so, Scarlett's head was on Mammy's bosom and her gnarled hands were combing through her hair. "Oh Mammy, I wish I could go back to the old days, or even to that barbeque afternoon at the Wilkeses plantation. I would have done things so differently if I had another chance- So many people keep telling me that for two people to marry and be happy together, they have to think alike but look at Ma and Pa. They were as different as chalk and cheese. But they got along fine, didn't they? And I thought that like Pa, I would-"

Scarlett's voice trailed away for she knew it was useless to talk about Ashley. Mammy's deaf ears did not pick up on most of what Scarlett said. If she had known that Scarlett's poor choice in husbands was because she thought her parents were different and so much in love, she might have hinted that Ellen had left her heart in the Savannah and only a soft shell of herself lived at Tara. But she was always a loyal old soul. She would have never told of that night when Ellen cried "Phillippe! Phillippe!" before slipping into eternal sleep. It was a pity for it would have helped Scarlett understand why she was the way she was. A child caught in two worlds, suppressing her wild, fiery nature and reaching for her Mother's unattainable ladylike standards-"

* * *

Months later, Scarlett received the first letter from Mrs. Butler. It ran as follows,

 _My dear Scarlett,_

 _I am grieved to learn of Mrs. Melanie Wilkes's death. I pray that God will grant you the strength to recover from your loss of a sister and a very dear friend. My own daughter Rosemary has decided to marry Mr. Heyward who descends from a long line of the illustrious Mills-Heyward families, who have lived more than forty years in Charleston. We hope that you could join us in the planning of this happy event. And I long to see your own children, Wade Hampton and Ella Kennedy..."_

Scarlett beamed with pleasure as she read this. It was so nice to feel wanted. So, Rosemary was getting married. Happy thoughts of flowers, candles, balls of honor and parties filled Scarlett's head. And in the midst of it all, Rhett would be there and she will make him see that he loves her after all. Scarlett re-read the letter before tossing it aside. Mrs. Butler struck her as a very straight-forward, unpretentious person. And she said so many times that she welcomed Scarlett to Charleston. Scarlett felt strangely flattered as she began to pack her trunk for the trip.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Scarlett arrived at the Butler residence on a cool winter's evening, dressed in a chic, palmetto-green and white printed challis dress that showed off her nineteen-inch waist to perfection. Her hair was braided and twisted into a netted bun covered by a stylish peaked bonnet-a Paris creation that Rhett had bought her years ago. Mammy carried a hatbox and hoarsely chided Prissy to mind Ella and Wade. Wade, tall for his thirteen years, looked well turned out in his new suit. His blond hair was combed down and his expression was rather mature and serious with only his wide blue eyes betraying his shyness. Ella, dressed in broadcloth and carrying her favorite doll, stood impatiently next to her mother. Mrs. Butler and Rosemary Butler were already at the porch, welcoming the party with bright smiles and fond endearments. A tall house servant, Ben, expertly carried all their bags into the house.

* * *

Scarlett trembled in her seat with nervous excitement of seeing Rhett again. Did he know that she, Scarlett, whom he had expressly forbidden to accompany him to his hometown was now sitting, bold as brass, in the little parlor room of his house? What would he say when he saw her? Would he lose his temper and order her back to Atlanta or would he remain aloof and nonchalant, not caring a thing about her? At any moment she expected to hear his light footfall on the carpeted stairs and his pleasant, resonating voice overlaid with the lazy Charlestonian drawl. She fidgeted in her seat, stole furtive glances towards the parlor room doorway and tugged at her white gloves distractedly.

Across the room, two very charming ladies conversed with her. Mrs. Butler was in every way a fine Southern lady for she walked and talked with a quality of grace very like her own Mother, Ellen Robbillard. And she followed the old Southern custom of conversing in such a way that the person they spoke to felt good about themselves. With quiet, soft-spoken words, she affirmed Scarlett as a fine, high-spirited woman who had survived the war and saved her planation. But unlike Ellen, Mrs. Butler had a sense of humor and her eyes often twinkled in merriment. "Just like Rhett, only.. Rhett had something sinister in his merriment. Mrs. Butler does not." mused Scarlett, with interest. She hastened to promise Mrs. Butler that she would stay with them for at least a year. Rosemary was definitely an old maid and Scarlett had a strong suspicion that the man she would marry was old, short and balding. Old maids often caught only such men. But Rosemary didn't seem to mind. She seemed grateful to be free from the control of her father about whom Rhett had spoken several bitter things.

"Does Rhett know that I am here?" ventured Scarlett, at last.

"We decided to keep it a surprise" said Rosemary, with a sudden laugh. "He hasn't left his room all day so he has no idea that you have arrived-"

Scarlett's heart began to thump harder and harder. So, Rhett was at the house. He was upstairs and he didn't know of her presence here! "I think I will go and meet him",said Scarlett, anxiously suppressing her giddiness , in case she should faint.

"A moment, dear", said Mrs. Butler, reaching into a book on the mantle piece and drawing out a letter. "This is a letter from the old gentleman-Rhett's father. Rhett wouldn't read it when I gave it to him so perhaps you could persuade him-"

Scarlett stared curiously at the fat envelope that Mrs. Butler placed into her hands. But she was in no mood to inquire after the letter or the old gentleman. All that mattered was that she was going to see Rhett!

* * *

Scarlett slipped noiselessly into Rhett's room and in that tense, breathless moment, her green cat-in-the-dark eyes nearly missed him as he sat lounging in the high-backed chair by the window, in a cloud of cigar smoke and a heavy book on his lap. He was wearing his silk dressing gown and colors from the shadows and gaslight, interplayed on his swarthy brown face. But when his bold, black eyes fell on her, his brow furrowed and cleared rapidly and the corner of his mouth slanted upwards in genuine, happy surprise. A wave of excitement and relief washed over Scarlett as she caught Rhett's expression. "Oh, he _is_ glad to see me!" she cried to herself and half-half, half-stumbled across the wide floor. "Rhett! Oh darling, I missed you so-" He was happy to see her! There was no mistaking his expression. He was surprised and thrilled that she should seek him out. These past few months, he had often thought of her and pinned in secret for her love, just as she had pinned away for him and pride kept him from visiting her. But now that they have found each other again, everything will be all right! Scarlett reached Rhett's side, her bosom heaving under tight stays from exhilaration but as her eyes shyly met his, her expression froze for a cold, blank mask had quickly come over his face.

"I must say this is an unexpected surprise" drawled Rhett, smoothly. His eyes held her in impertinent appraisal. "And how is Ashley faring these days?"

For a moment, Scarlett blinked stupidly at her cynical husband, hardly believing the heartless question that came so easily out of his mouth. Then, Scarlett's lips began to curl at the unfairness of it all. She knew she had seen love in his eyes just a moment before. The sight of her was like the sight of an oasis to a thirsty wanderer. But why was he so far away now? Why was he still harping on about Ashley?

"Hang Ashley.. what do I care about him.. I hate him.I wish I never knew Ashley-" thought Scarlett, almost livid with fury. But as she struggled for composure, she remembered her promise to herself. Scarlett bit her tongue and steeled herself until her eyes turned emerald in the gaslight. "Rhett, you've got to stop this bitterness over Ashley." She twisted her hands and took a few steps closer until her face appeared clearly in the yellow of the gaslight. "It.. it never was so much as what I wanted to do for Ashley but about what he could do for me..."

"Rhett, that evening when Melly died, I went to Ashley for comfort. I was afraid and I thought he would take me in his arms and assure me that the world was all right. But instead,I found him, utterly broken, confessing like a guilty child that he never told Melly how much he loved her. She was his unchanging dream or something and he never told Melly how much she meant to him-" Scarlett gripped the armrest of Rhett's chair so tight that her knuckles turned white. "That was how I understood that his world..books, music and art meant more to him than the real, warm love of a woman.. and Melly! My God! She was the most unselfish person. She never demanded anything from him and we both know how much she supported Ashley in everything and if he couldn't love her then.."

Rhett raised his glance and a quiet look of interest came into his eyes. Scarlett's voice faltered. "How could Ashley possibly love me? I have a fiery temper, I wake up crying from nightmares, and.. and.. as you said-" Scarlett's cheeks grew hot but she pressed on. After all, Rhett was as coarse and earthy as her. "I do need kissing badly- Ashley couldn't possibly love me the way-" Scarlett flushed under Rhett's steady gaze. His face was unreadable. Would he gloat over her? Would he eye her in contempt? As the silence grew unbearable, Scarlett whispered, "I spoke the truth,Rhett. Don't tease me now with your silence-"

"Tease you?" echoed Rhett, softly. "Why should I tease you?" He cast his book aside and he lifted her onto his lap. "I am relieved to know that you are capable of some analysis after all. I am proud that you have understood and admitted something about yourself- something I tried to tell you before but you were too stubborn to admit." His voice dropped a little and his eyes ran appreciatively across Scarlett's face. "Besides, who isn't in need of kissing?"

"Kiss me, Rhett" mumbled Scarlett and almost before those words had time to leave her mouth, she felt Rhett's hot breath on her face. His moustache tickled her lips as he began to kiss her, as slowly and as fully as he had done so many times before. Scarlett's arms found their way about his shoulders and she eagerly returned his kisses. When he drew back, she smiled at him, her cheeks dimpling sweetly. "Everything is all right now. We love each other and that's all that matters-"

To this, Rhett remained silent and Scarlett's eyebrows rose in confusion. "You do love me, don't you, Rhett?"

"My feelings haven't changed from the last time we had our little chat at your charming Peachtree house-"

"But. but you kissed me-" replied Scarlett, stunned at the hardness of her husband's heart. Surely he was joking. He was trying to be mean to her, that's all! But Rhett seemed unmoved and maddeningly devoid of any of the emotion that shook Scarlett's hands and turned her lips white. "You kissed me-"

"Yes, I did. I admit I am quite glad to see you. But it isn't love,Scarlett. I wish you would keep bringing up that subject-"

"Bringing up-" Scarlett choked on her words for she was too angry and confused to speak. Her chest heaved silently and Rhett watched her in a detached air. After a long pause, she said, "All right, I won't pursue the matter. I won't be so tempestuous or demanding as you think I am. Perhaps over time, you will find the courage to say that you love me-"

Rhett didn't answer but his old cynical amusement had returned.

"What were you reading?"

"Genealogy, my pet. I was looking up some of the families in Charleston. Turns out, my crime of killing during a duel has still not been pardoned. I am still dismissed from social gatherings and frankly I am at a loss as to how to make amends-"

Scarlett handed the letter se was supposed to give. "Perhaps this would make a difference. Your mother asked you to read it. It was written by your father before he died-" Rhett stared at the envelope. His expression had changed but she couldn't tell exactly how. His face suddenly grew tighter and his mouth was set in a grim line. He picked up the letter as if it were some disgusting object and after placing Scarlett on one of the chairs nearby, he stuck the letter into the tallest crevice above the shelves and casually sauntered out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Scarlett felt vaguely dejected after the anti-climax of her conversation with Rhett. Her uncomplicated mind could not grasp why Rhett remained so indifferent even after they had shared such intimate kissing. Immediately an alarming thought presented itself. Charleston was uppity for brothels and with Belle being so far away, perhaps Rhett was starved for the sight of a pretty woman and had simply used Scarlett to release some of his pent up desires! Scarlett shuddered at this. She knew lovers generally never suspected things like this and she loved Rhett to desperation. She was crazy about him and all her cherished dreams of reconciliation over the past few months ended with Rhett taking her into his arms and kissing her. And sometimes with several blushes and feelings of guilty pleasure, she even hoped for a night of passion as fervent and wild as the one after Melly's reception. She never expected to be kissed at first meeting and when the unthinkable happened, she thought love surely must follow. But it didn't and she couldn't understand why.

Suddenly she felt miserable and so lost.

* * *

It wasn't that Scarlett had spoken the wrong words or had been insincere in her explanation about her change of affections regarding Ashley Wilkes. Rhett knew that she had given an honest account and he respected her for it. But poor Scarlett had forgotten her conversation with Ashley during that fateful afternoon at the Wilkeses barbeque. And unfortunately, that scene was fresh in Rhett's memory.

He still remembered Ashley's words,

 _"You would want all of a man,Scarlett,his body,his heart,his soul,his thoughts. And if you did not have them, you would be I couldn't give you all of me. **I couldn't give all of me to anyone.**..."_

"Not even Miss. Melly" thought Rhett, grimly.

 _"And I would not want all of your mind and your soul. And you would be hurt, and then you would come to hate me how bitterly!. You would hate the books I read and the music I loved, because they took me away from you even for a moment..."_

 _"_ It has taken her fourteen years to understand what Ashley Wilkes explained to her so clearly during that barbeque afternoon.." ,said Rhett to himself. Frowning, he once again wondered why. For fourteen years he had allowed himself to be puzzled and tormented by Scarlett's utter lack of understanding of the simplest of human nature. At first, he thought she was a rebel like himself and only needed some taunts and hinting suggestions to get her thinking straight. She had to discern for herself which teachings of her Mother she must follow and which teachings she must abandon if she is to be true to herself. Scarlett had impressed Rhett with her selfish single-mindedness, her bravery and her ruthless methods to save Tara and herself. Now all she needed to do was to realize that the one who had helped her break free of the Southern society's suffocating customs and revel in her vibrant personality was Rhett and to fall in love with him. He was confident that he was the only man in the world who could care for her since he just as bad as her. But as the years went by, her wishes and actions started to appear curiously shallow. Money and Ashley- that was all she ever thought about, all she ever cared about. Her choice of friends, her extravagances, the quality of goods in her store, her prices and ways of securing contracts - they all seemed cheap and distasteful. And Scarlett completely ignored Rhett. He began to grow in despair of ever receiving any warmth of affection from her. And slowly but surely, as quarrels turned bitter and hurtling insults became a norm, he dreaded that he had made a mistake. He knew Scarlett was as selfish and greedy as he was. But it was her insane obstinacy that finally extinguished all feelings of love. She wouldn't admit anything even if she was cornered and Rhett had cornered her several times. Just why she chose to deny several obvious hypocrisies in her nature, he did not know. By twenty at least, a woman ought to know her flaws and accept them with grace. Didn't he admit to being a scoundrel, a rascal, a man who enjoyed his drink and his women? Why could she admit any flaw about herself? Why could she admit her weaknesses like Ashley did or shyly apologize for them like Melanie Wilkes? Why did she deny things outright and choose to respond with something crushing instead?

It was her bull-headedness that prevented her from reading into Ashley's character. She was a child crying for the moon. Didn't she know before that no one could enter Ashley's illusionary world and tear him out to face realities?

"And she has taken fourteen years to come around and understand that her pure love was a farce!"

No, Rhett did not love her. Scarlett puzzled him intolerably and he had broken his heart over her and over Bonnie. He would not do it again!

* * *

When Scarlett managed to retrieve the letter, she sullenly walked into the sitting room and found Mrs. Butler knitting by the fire. She looked up with a smile and that smile dimmed a little when she saw the letter still in her daughter-in-law's hand. "I see you haven't been able to compel my son to read his father's letter-"

"No I haven't. But I shall try again" replied Scarlett, holding on to the letter as if it would bring her closer to Rhett.

"I want to show you something" said Mrs. Butler, reaching into her bag by her feet. She brought out a faded daguerreotype. Scarlett sat down on a chair nearby and peeped into the picture. It was the picture of a man. A very dignified man, in his late fifties. The resemblance was uncanny. The man had wide-set eyes and full lips, just like Rhett. He stood erect and proud, a walking cane in his hand and his other hand in his pocket.

"This is a picture of the old gentleman. Rhett's father." Mrs. Butler set down her knitting aside and smiled kindly at Scarlett. "My dear, you must listen to me and I must impress upon you about the importance of this letter. My husband was a very proud Charleston gentleman and he had extremely set ideas and ways of how his family should be. My oldest child understood my husband and he followed his father's advice as best as he could and ignored the others. My daughter, eager to please, found her father quite tolerable as well. But Rhett-" Mrs. Butler sighed quietly. "I had never seen a child so sensitive to criticism and afraid of rejection-"

As Scarlett paid attention to Mrs. Butler's words, she found herself being pleasantly diverted from her present anxieties. It felt strange to talk to another woman, discussing her lover like this but Scarlett was thrilled. Eagerly, she listened on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Scarlett felt pleased as she lent an attentive ear to Mrs. Butler's words. For once in her life, she could discuss a person she loved with another woman. Even if she was the mother. Scarlett had overheard breathless confessions and giggling discussions of beaus between girls before. But they always seemed like silly cackling chickens to Scarlett and she always smirked about how she steal all their beaus away, if she wanted to. And then there was Ashley. But she could hardly have shared her love for him with any living soul! But now, things were just the way it should be. Here she was, a picture of a devoted wife listening to her mother-in-law about her husband whom she loved dearly. Scarlett almost purred with satisfaction. Of course, most of what Mrs. Butler said went over her head. "She talks just like Rhett, all those double-edged compliments and confusing arguments." ,thought Scarlett, in exasperation. But she smiled on. For in Mrs. Butler's soft black eyes, she detected the triumph of an aristocrat who had survived the war and was proud of it. She noted the warmth in those dark depths whenever she referred to Rhett. She evidently loved her son very much.

"I wonder if Mother ever spoke of me like this to anyone" wondered Scarlet, wistfully.

* * *

Later that night, Scarlett combed her fingers through the curls in her hair as she leaned back into the pillows and waited for Rhett. Her eyes went to the letter that was peeping out from under the pillow where she had stuck it. She somehow understood the general outline of what Mrs. Butler was trying to say. Apparently, old Mr. Butler was a fine old gentleman, very like John Wilkes in his preoccupations with art, music and travel but had to contend with a rebel like Rhett for a son. And when Rhett insulted that Calhoun girl, her brother sent word for a duel in which Rhett killed his challenger. So, the old gentleman who religiously abided by the old Southern customs and the code duello, banished Rhett from the family. This much she had heard from Rhett himself. But what Mrs. Butler emphasised on Scarlett was the extremity to which Rhett took this rejection. Rhett despised the Old South itself instead of just his rigid father.

While motherly sentiments were lost on Scarlett when Mrs. Butler hinted that Rhett could have behaved honorably by firing a shot past his challenger or firing into the ground or his challengers leg, Scarlett perked with interest. "Yes, that was true!" agreed Scarlett, remembering that very few duels ended in death. The killer was usually cast out of society. Mr. Butler could not have shown leniency and remained a Charleston gentleman.

"And now that Rhett is forty-five, he wants to reconcile with his folks but he is still not received-" mused Scarlett to herself. She shrugged nonchalantly. If Rhett cared this much about making peace, then she would do her best to help him. Even if it means having to endure the intolerable snobbery of the Charleston families. Yes, she would stay right beside Rhett and help him. Then perhaps he might confess that he was still madly in love with her. And after he made his declaration, she would be free to be herself, wearing fashionable gowns and perhaps hosting a party or two and showing the young people of Charleston just how charming and pleasing she can be. With these hopes, she waited for Rhett.

* * *

Rhett finally arrived at an hour past midnight.

"Do be sensible and read this letter." said Scarlett, seeing that he was in a pleasant mood and seemed to welcome conversation. She cautiously slid into the covers beside him. She blushed inwardly, pleased that despite having three children and a miscarriage, her figure was still attractive and as she looked at Rhett, she knew that he thought so too. "Goodness knows, if I had a letter from my Mother or Pa before they died, I would have treasured it forever!"

"Read a letter dripping with hate and disapproval?" replied Rhett softly. He lit his cigar and leaned back into his pillows. "No thank you!"

"But you don't know exactly what it is until you read it." Scarlett hesitated a moment before slipping next to Rhett and placing her hand timidly on his chest. Her cheek rested over his shoulder and she could hear the steady beat of his heart. Now she was satisfied. Now she was at bliss. She was beside Rhett and that was all that mattered. She reveled in the warmth of his body and felt safe and secure in his arms. And as her green eyes peered at the swarthy face above, she knew that he must be happy too. "Rhett, I do understand the situation, I really do. And well, you should have hidden the things you did from your father. From the way your mother described him, he must have a gentle heart that cannot stand the slightest hurts- Now take me, I always swallowed my temper and looked my best whenever my Mother was near me."

"You mean be a hypocrite?" Rhett's eyes were directed at her in sardonic amusement.

"Well, you don't have so vile about it." argued Scarlett, with a frown. "Mother wanted me to be her little girl and I always was that way before her. She had a gentle heart, Rhett. Why she was so gentle that me and Pa used to blackmail each other so as not to hurt Mother. Whenever he caught me climbing over a fence, he'd keep it a secret and in turn I never disclosed the exact amount of his gambling losses. Mother always seemed as if she didn't quite live in our world. She had such serenity about her, a quiet grace and unpleasant things simply didn't exist in her world. Why if I was rude just once, she'd look so hurt that I'd almost burst into tears of shame." Scarlett ventured, "Your father seems like that. I saw his picture. From the way you described him, I thought he was a short, fat, fussy looking man like grandpa Henry.. "

"Of course, a handsome man must have a gentle heart" ,mocked Rhett,suavely.

Scarlett hesitated. She knew she was right but the sarcasm in Rhett's tone of voice made her flustered to bring up further arguments to support her case. Unfortunately she could find none.

"There was nothing gentle about my father-" concluded Rhett, flatly.

"Great balls if fire, if I expelled from West Point and gambled, my Mother would cut me off disgrace too! You should have read the letter the wrote to me after I danced with you in my mourning dress during the Atlanta Ball. It was full of disapproval and accusations that I had shamed the O'Hara family. And if Pa hadn't soothed her with lies, I might have been forced to return home in disgrace. Some people are just like that Rhett. They are gentle and its up to us to make sure that they don't-"

"My pet, this new part of the interested, devoted wife doesn't suit you. I suggest you give it up. Your way of reasoning is utterly ridiculous-"

Scarlett fell silent at this. Rhett put out his cigar and blew out the candle light. He did not move away from Scarlett. But he did not draw her closer either.

* * *

Two weeks went by and Rhett never spent more time than absolutely necessary with Scarlett. He was often at the Charleston harbor and when he was at home, he was either with Wade or Ella. Scarlett gave up on the letter altogether and was grudgingly content to stay by Rhett's side. The thrill of being close to him still hadn't worn away.

But one evening, when Scarlett was out with Rosemary and Rhett was walking down the halls, he overheard a conversation, a single sentence that sparked genuine curiosity. It was Aunt Eulalie's voice. She was speaking to his mother. She was apologizing for Scarlett's impulsive Irish nature.

Rhett went closer to the closed door so that he could listen.

"Ellen married the Irish gentleman against the express wishes of her father. You see, She was wildly infatuated with that roguish cousin of hers.."

Rhett's eyes widened. He had never heard this story before!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Rhett had no qualms about eavesdropping. He merely lit a cigar, shoved his fists into his pockets and lazily leaned against the wall, his ears cocked towards the door. Aunt Eulalie's excited voice quite easily reached his ears.

"We were all thunderstruck when we heard that our lovely Ellen was to marry the Irish gentleman from up the country. And I say "gentleman" with some restraint, my dear, for we knew nothing about Mister O'Hara's family. Nothing of much significance, that is." Aunt Eulalie stopped here for dramatic emphasis. "Her father was very upset. We all were. But Ellen was adamant that she would marry Mister. O'Hara and leave Savannah at once. It seemed to me that Ellen made this hasty decision to spite her own family."

"I don't quite follow you, my dear" came Mrs. Butler's voice in her pleasant Charlestonian drawl.

"Ellen was a sweet child, so high-spirited and vivacious for her age. And she was a pretty child as well with such a cheery disposition, pleasing manners and appropriate piety. Naturally it came as a shock to us when we noticed her attentions growing towards the most worthless, foolish young man which a Robillard family was ashamed to call its own flesh and blood. Phillippe Robillard was the black sheep of the family. He was as handsome as a Frenchman could possibly be with an air of insolence mixed with charm about him. Probably this was what blinded our dear Ellen to his true wild nature. Why, we heard terrible stories about Phillippe, stories that I wouldn't dare narrate to a living soul! He was terribly wild and when he began reciprocating Ellen's attentions to him, Pauline and I spoke firmly to our brother to save his child from a most cruel fate. Her father spoke firmly to her, informing her of Phillippe's misdeeds - his careless squandering of the family wealth, gambling and brawls and even.. " Aunt Eulalie's voice dropped to a hissing whisper. ".. his illicit relations with bad women. Oh yes, he was as worthless as a young man could possibly be! But instead of heeding to her father's loving advice, Ellen continued to see Phillippe. Fearing for her well-being and happiness, we summoned Phillippe and forbade him to ever set foot in the grand stucco house ever again! Phillippe went abroad somewhere and was never heard of again!. And Ellen, she was only fifteen and there were plenty of beaus courting her and she could have easily married into a genteel Southern family in Savannah, but it was not to be. Apparently, she was distraught over the disappearance of her favorite cousin and blamed us for ruining her happiness. She cried that she had loved him and that she would never love another like him." Aunt Eulalie laughed softly. "What could a fifteen year old child know of love?"

"And then, having nursed the serpent of bitterness in her bosom, she decided to upset us once again by accepting Mr. O'Hara's declaration! Mr. O'Hara, of whom we knew so little and disapproved so much. He was a hardly middle-aged man, full of good intentions and humor, true. But he had no family to speak of. No one knew of his grandfather, the family estates or occupations. Till this day, I believe he was nothing more than an Irish peasant! But Ellen seemed to fancy him and accepted him, even though it meant having to leave Savannah and work as a planation owner's wife. We intervened again and Ellen threated to go away to a Catholic convent if she was not allowed to marry Mr. O'Hara."

"She did not love Mr. O'Hara?"

"No." replied Aunt Eulalie, shortly. "I don't believe she did. You see, she accepted Mr. O'Hara in a matter of months after Phillippe left. She was not the type of girl who had shallow changing affections."

"Then she must have loved her cousin-"

Aunt Eulalie hesitated. "We separated them with the best of intentions-"

"Of course"

"And Ellen was deathly serious about joining a convent and her devasted father, a staunch Presbyterian, permitted her to marry Mr. O'Hara. And that was how the French Robillard strain was forced to mingle with the Irish line. And look at how wild her children have turned out. The eldest, especially!"

"I found Scarlett rather charming and pleasing-"

"Yes, but I suppose we cannot blame the children. With such a father, they cannot possibly hope to be true gentlewomen like their mother or grandmother-"

* * *

Rhett drew away from the conversation, an angry frown on his face. So, Scarlett's saintly mother was not quite the ideal Southern lady after all! He had increasing suspicions that perhaps Ellen married Gerald O'Hara only to escape from the Savannah and the idea disgusted him. The gentle hypocrisy of the Southern society disgusted him anew. But before he gave vent to his feelings, he strode to the kitchen to see Mammy. He was going to confirm this story with Ellen's closest companion and aide.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Rhett strode purposefully across the hallway but his stride weakened when he remembered the promise he made to himself that he would never care what Scarlett did or where she went- He had said that he couldn't care for her anymore and he had meant it. But he had always enjoyed exposing hypocrisies and he couldn't resist wondering how Scarlett's mother, who could do no wrong in the eyes of her beloved family could have married someone who she did not love. He remembered his own consternation upon discovering that Scarlett still cherished Ashley in her memories and dreams during their honeymoon in New Orleans. That beautiful wistful look that lent such strange softness to her shrewd green eyes and made them misty with feeling. It had driven him mad to see the change in her when she thought of Ashley. How much he had envied that look of love and how often he wished that she would look at him the same way. If Ellen Robillard still pinned after her cousin, then she was certainly as unfaithful as her own bull-headed daughter, only in gentler, more sedate terms. He wondered how Gerald O'Hara could stand it for so many years. Then recollecting the brash, hearty nature of the Irish gentleman, he decided that it needed an analytical mind to discover Ellen's secrets. Gerald married Ellen Robillard and never gave a second thought to learning of her true feelings. But Scarlett...

Rhett was genuinely puzzled.

Surely, Scarlett must have known. She might have suspected that her mother's detachment was because she was in love with somebody else. Women usually knew these things without being told. Then he recalled Scarlett's words,

 _"Mother always seemed as if she didn't quite live in our world. She had such serenity about her, a quiet grace and unpleasant things simply didn't exist in her world."_

An alarming new emotion was taking form in Rhett's heart. If Scarlett did not suspect anything regarding her mother but simply attributed her disinterest to unworldliness and selflessness, then..

Rhett halted for a moment by the stairs, puzzled by the unexpected conclusion.

Then.. there was a certain sweetness in Scarlett's nature.

Rhett shook his head vehemently. He knew Scarlett. She was selfish, vain, bull-headed and ruthless, just like himself. She had no womanly sweetness in her and no one could love her if they ever really knew or understood her. Yes, this was Rhett's appraisal of Scarlett's character. He had understood her completely and had grown weary in loving her and hoping for her love in return. Yes, there was nothing good in Scarlett O'Hara. She was too shallow and tempestuous in her affections.

Then, why was she so gentle in her thoughts towards her mother?

Unwillingly Rhett began to envisage the genuine admiration and affection that Scarlett felt for her mother. And as he mused along the lines, an innocent sweetness in Scarlett's nature began to show. Rhett found it incredible and bewildering. But nevertheless, there it was!

This was the goodness he had been looking for and found in Miss. Melanie Wilkes. Scarlett apparently had it too only he never realized it.

Angrily stirring himself from these disturbing thoughts, Rhett continued his stride towards the kitchen. He wouldn't think of Scarlett. At least not until he had heard Mammy's tale.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Mammy waddled across the kitchen as fast as her old legs could carry her enormous bulk, a broad smile on her shining black face and a hand outstretched to shake Rhett's. "Mist. Rhett, it sure is good to see you!" She was beaming in happiness and relief for when Mammy last remembered Rhett, he was grieving over little Bonnie and drowning his sorrows in drink. The man who stood before her, well-built and lively once more with merriment in his black eyes was a welcome sight indeed!.

"Good to see you too, Mammy" grinned Rhett, sounding friendly and kind. His mouth dropped in one corner in a faintly mocking fashion. "I was quite surprised that you decided to stay with Scarlett after all-"

Mammy's face clouded. "Mist. Rhett, I was wrong to leave Miss. Scarlett. At the time-" She stopped hesitantly, cutting short her words for fear that they might stir up sorrowful memories. Rhett sat down on a chair nearby and stretched out his long legs. Good humor still lingered on his face."I was wrong to leave Miss. Scarlett"

"Well, Mammy, I for one am glad that you've returned."

"Thank you, Sir"

Mammy smiled but her eyes were shrewdly watching Rhett for something had changed in his manner that put her on her guard. From the way Rhett was seated, his hands open, his legs stretched out, laguid and idle, he seemed the epitome of laziness. Yet there was a small intense flame in his eyes, like a panther waiting for its prey. Mammy could sense it. And she prepared herself for the upcoming battle.

Rhett directed a level gaze at her, as if sensing her apprehension and finding it amusing. "Mammy, I know that you are very loyal to Miss. Ellen and I wouldn't in any way disrespect her memory but I must know something. Did Miss. Ellen really love her cousin till her dying day?"

Mammy's eyebrows shot up in consternation. Her lower lip protruded in firm disapproval. "I don't know nothing about that Mist. Rhett." she mumbled in smoldering wrath at Rhett's outrageous question.

"Ah, so she did love her cousin" said Rhett, softly.

"It ain't fitting to talk such things about the dead when-"

"Mammy, I'm sorry, I really am" apologized Rhett, sincerely. "But it was Aunt Eulalie who spoke of Phillippe Robillard. Until then I had no idea and I have always been interested in the Robillard family." He leaned forward with genuine interest, his hands cupped into one another. "Now according to her, Miss. Ellen was madly in love with her cousin who was despised by the rest of the family. Her father and aunts drove the cousin away and Miss. Ellen was broken-hearted when she consented to marry Mr. O'Hara-"

Mammy opened her mouth in fury at the venomous rumor surrounding Miss. Ellen but a faint glint in Rhett's eyes warned her of some mediated trickery. She pressed her thick lips in hesitation.

Rhett laughed outright. "Now Mammy, you know that I bear no ill will against Miss. Ellen-"

"Miss. Ellen did love her cousin" said Mammy, quietly. "But Mist. Phillippe was killed. She received a letter saying that he was shot in a brawl. And Mist. Gerald was the kindest person she knew and she decided to marry him and come live in Mist. Gerald's plantation-"

"So he was killed" mused Rhett to himself. He raised his voice. "So Miss. Ellen recovered from her broken heart and never thought of Phillippe Robillard again?"

"If you are wondering if Miss. Ellen was faithful to Mr. O'Hara, let me tell you, Mist. Rhett that she was the most hard-working woman on the planation. Miss. Ellen was always tending to the hundred field-hands, advising Cookie, managing the house and the meals- There was never any time for her to rest. As if she would rest too. If she had any time at all, she would knit, sew or visit sick neighbors. Miss. Ellen was the gentlest person you ever saw and Mist. Gerald set a store by her-"

"Mammy, are you sure she never once spoke to you of Phillippe Robillard ever again?"

For only a fleeting moment, a look of guilt crossed Mammy's face as she suppressed the memory of Ellen's dying call to her cousin. Her face flushed and she shook her head. "No Sir, she never did."

"Scarlett loves her mother a great deal. She must have been like Bonnie when she grew up, so brave and full of spirit-"

Mammy started at this casual reference to Rhett's only and most favorite child. But she hastily replied,

" , as a child Miss. Scarlett wasn't like Miss. Bonnie. I mean, Miss. Bonnie was just high-spirited and she sure loved horses. But Miss. Scarlett was downright different-"

"How so?" inquired Rhett, in sudden interest.

"Well Sir, Miss. Bonnie never went climbing trees, throwing stones in ponds, jumping over fences and playing rough games with the black boys. Why, Miss. Bonnie was just plain full of life. But Miss. Scarlett.. she was always doing just the wrong thing and she was good at all the wrong, unladylike things. Miss. Ellen and I chased after her most of the time to try and teach her how to behave-"

"And how did Scarlett take all these lessons?"

"Miss. Scarlett was always sorry for what she'd done. She was afraid of upsetting her Ma and she always knew that she was wrong and needed to be scolded-"

"How's that?"

Mammy recollected, "Once Miss. Scarlett got into a fight with the field-hand's children and she beat up a boy and he threw mud on her dress just as she was walking away. And she came home, hiding the dirty folds as best as she could, angry tears in her eyes and thankfully her Ma couldn't see her- I gave Miss. Scarlett a good talking to, about nice little girls staying indoors and playing with dolls and dresses. Not running out with field-hand children, beating them up and shaming the family. And Miss. Scarlett was hardly playing attention to my words and saying how unfair it was for that boy to throw mud at her dress even through she won fair and square. And finally I threatened to tell Miss. Ellen and Miss. Scarlett came to her senses and hung her head in shame."

"Not many little girls pick fights with such children and win them" remarked Rhett, softly.

"The last thing Miss. Scarlett wanted was for her Ma to know what she's really been up to. She was scared of frightening or hurting her Ma and that went fine by me cause I could make her behave."

"So did not approve of her daughter fraternizing with little boys?"

"Well Sir" Mammy paused and blinked. "I told and told Miss. Ellen to speak a sharp word to Miss. Scarlett about her friends but Miss. Ellen always said that little boys become future beaus and that Scarlett should be allowed to mingle with them-"

Rhett's eyebrows shot up at this. "Mammy, isn't that a little confusing for a young girl to follow. Mingle with boys yet act like she was a little lady?"

"Yes, Mist. Rhett, I do agree with you there, Sir. But Miss. Ellen allowed Miss. Scarlett to grow that way-"


	12. Chapter 12

**A big THANK YOU to all the kind readers who reviewed my story... :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Rhett had begun his conversation with Mammy with an impersonal interest in the Robillard family and in a very sketchy way, in Scarlett. But as Mammy hotly related various childhood escapades of Scarlett and the shame she felt afterwards for her misdeeds, the faint thought that badgered him at the back of his mind grew larger and larger until he could no longer ignore it. When he watched Bonnie grow, the little girl's charm, bouncing black curls and strong will made him assume with delight that she was just like Scarlett. But now it was becoming apparent that Bonnie was brought up in a much different way than Scarlett. Rhett had adored Bonnie, gave into her tantrums, been sensitive and patient with her fears and asserted in every way possible that she was a beautiful and lovely little girl. Bonnie knew it and she loved Rhett for it. But Scarlett hadn't been brought up this way. She was adored but often chided for being herself, shamed into the Southern pattern of how little girls should behave and told to hide her natural talent for doing mathematics in her head, outrunning the boys, gorging on food and generally appearing intelligent in the society.

Yes, Ellen had disapproved of Scarlett in her growing years just as much as Rhett's own father had disliked and disapproved of him.

But while Rhett had heartily annoyed and judged his father for the narrow-minded, ignorant man he really was, Scarlett had reacted entirely differently. This difference was what disconcerted Rhett! She had not rebelled against her mother's teachings and proved that she could be different and yet kind. And she had not seen that her mother's reproaches were making her feel ashamed of herself when she should really be proud of her personality. Instead, Scarlett meekly accepted that her mother was perfect and had all the answers and somehow she must become kind and good just like her.

Rhett knew that Scarlett could be meek only when she was convinced deep down that something was really true. This fascinated him.

Then she must really think that she was a bad person, someone who couldn't be gentle, good or kind no matter how hard she tried because her first instincts were to lose her temper, compete, speak sharply and be maddeningly stubborn.

"We aren't alike in this at all" realized Rhett, slowly. "To Scarlett, her disapproving mother was an angel and to me, my disapproving father was a devil.. We are different after all-"

Therefore two things stood forefront in his mind. First, Scarlett did not realize that her own nature was beautiful and therefore she did not know herself. And secondly, she did not suspect that her mother's confusing guidance was because of her preoccupation with her dead lover. Therefore, Scarlett did not know others.

With a start, Rhett realized that this had been his mistake. He had always assumed that Scarlett should have known about people, men for that matter or about her own actions. He had always credited her thinking that she like all other women had trustworthy knowledge about the nature of others. But now he realized that Scarlett did not understand anyone, not even herself.

Suddenly he was possessed by a mad desire to listen to Scarlett talk about various episodes of her life. In the light of this new discovery, he was sure that if he listened he could understand just why she was so dismissive and insensitive. But his pride reminded him that he had vowed to never care for Scarlett. Still, he decided that he must once again make Scarlett talk about her mother and confirm if his conclusions were indeed true.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The glimmer of interest that Rhett showed in Scarlett was not stemming from any desire to reconcile with her. When he thought of her at all, his heart was numb and he merely accepted her existence as one accepts a cloud in the sky. And during the last two weeks, when Scarlett gazed at Rhett through her Irish green eyes or laid a soft palm on his shoulder or smiled with a quality of tenderness never seen before, there did stir in him some desire to reciprocate in some form of affection. But along with this desire, other stronger feelings, bitter and painful, the numerous slights he had received from Scarlett's hand, insensitive words - the memories of the curl of her lips in venomous hate, the triumphant gleam in her eye when she hurled careless accusations and saw the hurt in his face, her eyelids fluttering in coquetry, her impassive, unimaginative mind that always.. always took things literally- came flooding all at once and quenched any warmth in his heart until he felt no emotion at all. He did not blame Scarlett. He felt in such moments that he was standing out of his own self and merely observing the scenes with a cool, unaffected air. He wished he could care, but he couldn't. It was as if he had formed a barrier strengthened through bitterness and despair against possible future hurts in the hands of the girl he had once loved.. long, long ago.

But it was this lack of emotion, this crippling feeling of hopelessness that tormented Rhett.

The last three months, he lived up to his promise by touring the countryside of South Carolina, hunting in the old towns where the glamor of the old days still lingered. Into the restored plantation houses, standing tall and white amongst struggling new crops of tobacco and sugar, he was welcomed with warmth and gaiety as the eldest son of the Butler family from Charleston. As he had hoped, a few planter aristocrats still remained and their ladies conversed with him with natural charm and simple gentility that it was like soothing balm after the cheap charade at Atlanta. Here people spoke of the love of the land, the black uprising and the few slaves who were faithful and loyal to the house, the collapsing of the social classes, the Yankee outrages against the South, the proud Southern sentiments which would never die. Rhett rode on his horse on long rides through acres of land, appearing in everyway a gentleman with a detached air to life which comes after suffering various atrocities under the Yankee rule. But the truth was different.

The apathy he had subconsciously formed against Scarlett was slowly pervading every other facet of his emotional life. He wanted to feel peaceful and content but he couldn't feel anything. It took him several days to realize that he was filled with a depressing hopelessness that would rob him of every happiness and this disturbed him completely. Rhett loved life and when his father threw him out of his Charleston home, he had grabbed fate by the horns and twisted it into submission. After a long, hard fight, he has emerged the victor, cruel and cynical. And he had never stopped enjoying life since. That is, until he loved and unloved Scarlett and lost his little Bonnie.

But it was proving to be torturous to live with this apathy. This lack of feeling that left him weak- a shadow of his former self. Yes, he felt hopeless against a cruel world but he couldn't let it lick him like Ashley Wilkes. In months, he decided to move on.

That was when Scarlett had appeared. And he was happy to see her. And he was grateful still to comprehend her so that he could do away with his apathy and return to life with some of his former jest. This was why he decided to understand Scarlett. If someone had pointed out to Rhett that this was a selfish motive, he would have agreed and added that he was a monster of selfishness and he never did anything without an ulterior motive.

He did not love Scarlett but he would use her to return to his lost self.

And then there was this business of winning the stony hearts of the Charleston families in town who still sat in judgment of his cold-blooded murder of Alec Calhoun in that fateful duel so many years ago.

No, he did not love Scarlett. The memories were too painful and somewhere in the hidden recesses of his heart, there lurked a strange fear which he himself could not control or comprehend. The same fear which made him tremble to stand in Scarlett's presence after that wild night so many years ago, the same fear which made him confess of his guilty sins to Miss. Melly in the wake of Scarlett's recovery. There was a finality in this fear which convinced Rhett more than ever that he would never get back to Scarlett. He was too afraid.

* * *

Scarlett was at her liveliest that evening, opening dress boxes and hat boxes and chatting happily about how the fashions in Charleston were terrible but Rosemary was so insistent so she couldn't resist - what with all the balls and parties they would be going to- She felt Rhett's gaze transfixed on her, even though at every passing glance he seemed to be immersed in his book. She flushed with pleasure and with hope. Perhaps tonight she might make some inroads into their lost relationship. She laughed with added gaiety,

"Thank goodness I can finally wear these lovely shades of turquoise and greens again. Its been ever so long since-"

Scarlett stopped abruptly, a hot blush spreading across her face.

"Miss. Melly's untimely demise" finished Rhett, softly from the bed where he lay with a heavy book in his hand. "Three months to be exact."

"Yes" replied Scarlett, her excitement briefly subdued by the memory of Melanie Wilkes. She snapped at herself inwardly. Oh, why had she made such an awkward, uncaring remark about dear Melly. Now Rhett would never believe that she truly missed Melanie Wilkes. He would be satisfied with his notions that Scarlett O Hara cared for nothing except fine clothes and money.

Scarlett laughed once again and said,

"You know, Rhett, Melly was so sweet. She kept defending me from the old cats of Atlanta saying that everyone was jealous of my success and were resentful that I was smarter than their sons and men. She even said that India was jealous that I could capture Stuart's attention and Mrs. Elsing was resentful that I demoted Hugh.. Isn't that silly? As if any woman would be jealous of such a thing? Imagine dear Melly staying so loyal by my side for such silly reasons!" Scarlett nodded to herself. "Now if she had said they were jealous of my money-"

Scarlett caught herself too late again and cast a glance at Rhett who was plainly staring at her. There was nothing in his face. She sounded shallow and callous once again! Scarlett bit her tongue for this remark on money. No she didn't mean to mention that word. She was sick of money. There was no security, no happiness in money-

Scarlett smiled nervously. "Darling, isn't it funny? Every time I say the wrong thing , I still expect you to rile or ridicule me as you used to do-" Her voice faded and she felt so strange. She was usually so confident in her charms and after the three month gap, she thought she could return to her confident, charming self.

Rhett's eyes still bored into her and he said at long last, "Have no such fear, Scarlett. I told you that nothing you say or do interests-"

"Don't say it" choked Scarlett, flatteringly. "I never want to hear that again."

"Suit yourself" murmured Rhett, coolly.

Scarlett delved into her many parcels and brought out a silk cravat which she shyly took to Rhett's side. "I bought this for you. You see, I have got good taste as well-" This illcited an unwilling smile from Rhett. "Why, Mrs. Butler - How thoughtful!"

Scarlett's lips curved with pleasure and before she could speak, her eyes fell on the opened envelope by the bed stand. "So , you did read your father's letter after all?"

"No I didn't. I only opened it. I was waiting for you to encourage me with more tales of your dear Mother-"

"Oh, do be serious-"

"I am" replied Rhett. "And as for Miss. Melly staying loyally by your side, did it ever occur to you that your grit strength and determination in the midst of back breaking work were the reasons that Tara was able to tide over the war and reconstruction as a moderately fine plantation? With all her goodness and generosity, Miss. Melly couldn't have performed such a feat and she defended and shielded you from the envious eyes of Atlanta."

Scarlett blinked that this unexpected compliment. At least she thought it seemed like a compliment. With Rhett she couldn't be sure. She nodded, pretending that she understood what Rhett had said although her heart was far from being convinced. Why would anyone be envious of her un-ladylike ways? Now if it was her money...

Rhett saw the disbelief in her eyes but he did not say anything. After his tete-a-tete with Mammy, he could no longer be sarcastic or mocking. He gently prodded Scarlett to talk about Ellen once again.

"Well, as I said, Rhett-" As Scarlett spoke on, Rhett caught the words, "Fount of Wisdom", "Pillar of Strength", "I wanted to muss up her hair or romp with her but the very thought was almost sinful to the sacred memory of Ellen", "Mother always knew what to do", "An unearthly creature living with the family at Tara" , "soft, serene, sedate and lovely" But most importantly, Rhett noticed the softness on Scarlett's face as she said the words. She genuinely loved Ellen.

"But Scarlett" he said, quietly. "Don't you see that your mother failed to encourage you in your own strong, willful personality? She never told you that your own nature was attractive and beautiful to family and friends?"

Scarlett visibly blushed at this obvious compliment. Her eyelids fluttered low for once in demure grace and she gave a shy smile. "Oh Rhett, you know that's just not true! But its sweet of you to say it!"

Rhett's eyes followed her swaying form across the room. Suddenly he felt genuinely sorry for Scarlett. In her eyes and voice, he found more proof than possible that the woman who stood before him had been unsure of herself for all these years no matter how bold and strong she projected herself.

"She has dismissed her own feelings!" thought Rhett, incredulously. "She has been insensitive to her own emotions and after the war, she became insensitive to others as well-"

"Since we are being so kind to each other" continued Scarlett, twisting her hands with feeling. "I might as well tell you - I don't blame you for Bonnie's death, Rhett. I never did. It was just that I was so upset.. I.. I thought that if I hurt you, then I could forget my own hurt." Scarlett spoke fast, words overlapping one another in nervous excitement. "Honestly, I was lonely after that. Why, I even wished that I could swap old time stories with Mrs. Merriweather and Mrs. Elsing. I missed all my old friends who knew my struggles and had struggled just like me - war veterans- But, no one would talk to me-"

Rhett maintained a stoic front but he was wrought with guilt inside. By assuming that Scarlett was like himself, he had ostracized her from the gentle folk of Atlanta. "I will remedy this" he promised to himself. Then in a flat voice, he drawled, "Come sit by me, Scarlett. I am going to read this letter-"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Rhett swiftly opened the small envelope and drew out some pale blue papers, pressed together in a tight wad. His eyes scanned the contents and he seemed mildly amused.

"What does it say?" demanded Scarlett, curiously.

"I am yet to read the letters-"

"Letters? I thought there was only one letter."

"No, Father has written two letters" answered Rhett, with a odd smile. "The shorter one is addressed to me."

 _If you are reading this letter, Rhett, then you have returned to your Mother and Sister despite my oft-repeated orders to them that they mustn't ever receive you. Perhaps you have won over their gentle confidence with lies. Perhaps having squandered away your life in heinous occupations, you have now returned to make an even odious spectacle of yourself in the midst of respectable families. Whatever be your reasons, I do not care. I decided to cut you away from my family and even in death, I do not regret my decision. Therefore, the purpose of this letter isn't to provide an absolution to you. Instead, I write with my wife and children's honor in mind._

 _Now that you have returned, you have found yourself, still an outcast, detested by Charleston society. They haven't forgotten the infamous manner in which you shot Alec Calhoun in that duel. A duel fought purely owing to your foolishness and utter disrespect for our cherished, traditional ways. So, keeping my family in mind - not their present poverty or starvation but their honor, for honor is worth above any physical suffering- Keeping this in mind, I have enclosed a note to Mr. Calhoun, head of the Calhoun family. Visit him and deliver this letter. If he is the honorable man I remember him to be, he will make amends._

 _I enclose no regards, Sir._

 _Mr. Butler._

Scarlett bristled with embarrassment at the open hostility in the letter. She raised her eyes, fully expecting to see the flower of cynical bitterness in Rhett's expression. But Rhett was already reading the next letter aloud in furious pace.

 _Honored Friend,_

 _I must apologize my dear friend for this letter that finds you after my passing. The paper as you can see is fading blue and my writing isn't as legible as I would like it to be. Were I healthier and perhaps.. happier, I might have saved this note as a rough script and eagerly made a better copy. But my heart isn't as cheerful as it used to be. Day by day, I sink into a gloom I cannot understand. I do not attempt to understand but the gloom grows heavier and I find I am unable to accept several ghastly non-conformities. When I remember the glory of the old days-_

Scarlett listened quietly as Rhett's father rambled on about the slow charm of the Old South. She sighed quietly for the words reminded her of Ashley and even John Wilkes.

 _When we spoke of the war, we spoke of it perhaps with a tone of haughty arrogance. We despised the Yankees and we demanded States Rights! And when the Yankees attacked our way of life, we sent our young men, our friends, family out into the battlefields. Hands that had never been stained with blood, gentle hands designed only to open intellectual books and make meticulous notes to entertain delighted gatherings - Throats hoarse with battle cries, throats which were meant only to sing the folk songs and the hymns of old- Our men have killed many and though the war nears an end, they will never be the same again._

"Great balls of fire, I-" began Scarlett, impatiently.

Rhett silenced her with his hand and continued reading. His eyes seemed to shine all of sudden in growing incredulity.

 _"You see my friend"_ he read. " _Young hands have raised pistols to consume lives in the battlefield. Several members of the worthy Calhoun family have defended our honor, fought bravely for the Glorious Cause. So, I humbly ask you, when so many men have killed - shot, others with their pistols, might not you find the forgiveness in your heart to pardon the shot that took away your handsome, gallant young boy so many years ago? For does not God command not to take another life? Is it not murder, no matter the provocation, whether be it in the battlefield or in a duel by the riverside? Are we not all murderers, sinking our hands into blood? Are we not all haunted by the deeds we have done, the suffering we have endured and still remained gentlemen? Think over it, my honorable friend and forgive the murder done so swiftly, so thoughtlessly, so many years ago. Perhaps God would pardon us then and we might find peace in this changing world-_

"Is your father comparing your duel with the war?" asked Scarlett, a frown creasing her clear forehead.

"Murder is murder" replied Rhett, softly.

"Well, why does he have to speak of all these things. My goodness if I were writing such a letter, I wouldn't waste time over all this twaddle-twaddle. I would get right to the point. Forgiveness and a restoration of respectability to _all_ the Butler family-"

"Yes, you would do that, you wouldn't be sentimental-"

Scarlett looked disconcerted. The Rhett of Old would have hurrahed her statement. But this was a new Rhett. A quiet and pensive Rhett who seemed so alien to her. She quickly gathered herself. "Oh no, you are wrong, I.. I do appreciate the sentimentality-"

"No. No you don't, my love. I know you too well." grinned Rhett bitterly to himself. "You would have sallied forward with your brash quips. If you refresh your memory, my pet, you will remember that most gentlefolk of the old days wrote rambling letters such as this to their friends and relatives. True the sentiments are a little overbearing at times but only.. think of the genuine people who write this-quality folks who belonged by birth to the quiet glamorous life of Southern planter families-"

"Well it is you who is wrong!" interrupted Scarlett, annoyed by his smugness. "Why I do treasure the.. the sentiments-" Her mind furiously searched for some incident that might quelch his aggravating sarcasm. "Why do you think Ashley and I-"

Scarlett bit her tongue but it was too late. In her hurry to redeem herself in Rhett's eyes, she had blurted the very words she had sworn to forget.

Oh, what a dreadful slip!

What would Rhett say now?!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

'Ashley and I-'

 _How could she have ever uttered those words!_

For a moment, Scarlett could not think of anything. She gazed blankly, almost stupidly at Rhett. On Rhett's face she still saw the bland, inscrutable expression that had baffled her ever so often before. But she knew that any second now, he would pounce upon her slip like a bloodhound and mock her with contempt. A feeling of dread washed over her when she remembered the cruel twist of his lips and that all-knowing grin that revealed the shallowness of her nature.

When she looked at Rhett's face again, to her surprise, he did not appear contemptuous at all. Instead he was staring at her intently, his gaze directed at her eyes as if trying to discern some unknown truth. And suddenly his lips curved into a faint smile. Not a trace of sarcasm tainted that smile."So, that was why you were hounding after Ashley-" He carefully folded up the letters. Scarlett thought she heard him sigh almost inaudibly. When he looked up, there was still no judgment or mockery in his expression. He was still smiling when he recollected, "Your pure love.."

Scarlett bristled at this. Oh, why did he remember such things? Why did he take such delight in tormenting her over all the careless words she had spoken? She struggled to speak, not knowing how to respond to his allegations - they did seem like allegations-

But Rhett spoke up first. "If you are worried that your words have upset me, let me assure you that they haven't" he said, quickly. Scarlett looked down with surprise at his warm hand which squeezed her arm, full of swift vitality of the years gone by.

"So, you remembered the old days with Ashley, did you?"

Scarlett squirmed uncomfortably. "Oh Rhett, why must we talk such foolishness?" She pressed her lips to a thin line, gathering common sense to her aid. "Looking back doesn't do any good, you know that. And right now, all that matters is-"

"Scarlett, look at me-"

Scarlett met Rhett's eyes reluctantly. "You never answered my question-"

"Well, yes I did" admitted Scarlett, sullenly. "You couldn't help it with Ashley.. he was always talking about the past- Rhett, listen-"

"You couldn't bear talking about the past to anyone, including me- But you couldn't avoid it with Ashley. You didn't want to."

"I don't see how-"

The grip tightened around her arm.

"What did he tell you? Did he remind you of the sunny, lazy days of your youth - When you woke up to the same life every morning? So peaceful and symmetric- A long table covered with snowy white cloth and gleaming with silver. Hot yams swimming in gravy, bread that smelt fresh and delicious, roast chicken cooked with Cookie's special recipe and you and your sisters arguing over silly things like who wears which dress to which ball-"

Scarlett gazed dumbstruck at Rhett. "How..how did you know?"

"We were plantation owners too" replied Rhett, shortly. His eyes bored into Scarlett's, never losing intensity. "And he reminded you of how lovely you looked in that green dress of yours and those Morocco slippers, a pretty, passionate little thing, surrounded by beaus and adored by her family. You spoke of the barbeques, the long horse rides, the picnics by the lake.."

Scarlett turned her face away but Rhett put his hand under her chin and diverted her gaze back to himself. His voice drawled on, smooth and silky.

"-those days when you stretched yourself underneath the sun and smelt the clover and the honeysuckle and heard the soothing hum of the bees. There were no cares in the world. Mother always knew what to do and Pa was such a boisterous darling-"

"Rhett, stop it!" choked Scarlett, pushing away his grip and leaning back into the shadows. She stifled a sob for she dared not cry! It was all a trick! Rhett would never ever understand these things! She shuddered when she remembered his cynical, mocking laugh. She pushed his other hand away and leaned into the shadowy corner of the bed. In the stillness, her voice now rose in scorn, "If.. if you think that I'm going to sit here and hear you talk nonsense.. well, you just-"

"You couldn't bear to hear these words from anyone else, yet you suffered them from Ashley - why? Why couldn't you dismiss his feelings as something ridiculous?"

Scarlett did not reply.

"Because deep inside you do mourn for the old days, don't you? The safety and security of the old life. The hundred blacks, singing and working in the fields, Mother moving quietly about the house and you quarrelling with your sisters on such worthy topics such as dresses, jewellery and beaus and there, before you could even finish your fight, your beaus do appear and you run to the porch with a charming smile on your face and luckily the weather is so lovely and balmy that you never break into a sweat. And that's what mattered the most, wasn't it? There was no thought of starvation, of death and constant fear of the Yankees-"

"Rhett, stop.. please.." Unbidden, two large teardrops fell across Scarlett's cheeks and she wiped them hastily. Then anger shook her. "You would never understand, Rhett. What all this means - these delicate feelings-"

"And Ashley did?"

Scarlett tried to move away but Rhett gripped her arm once again. "I want the truth"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

For a long time Scarlett remained quiet. She never imagined that Rhett would ask the questions he did. If he accused her of kissing Ashley or going into his arms, she could defend herself. But this was entirely different. Scarlett herself did not know why she could be so tender and gentle with Ashley. Somehow Ashley made it very easy to be gentle and even patient. His voice was so soft and sublime, the halo of golden hair on his head, his gray eyes so gentle and yet steady- And Ashley had said such lovely things about her. Of course in the end, he had only lusted after her beauty. That realization had dampened all the passion she had harbored for him. But Rhett was different. Scarlett did not know how or why. But she knew that she couldn't talk the same way with Rhett. And deep inside, she felt that the tender feelings that she had shown to Ashley, crying like a lost child for the old times during that dreadful rendezvous at the mill, all that had been utterly foolish. Scarlett shuddered with embarrassment as she remembered that. She would not do that again!

"Well?" prompted Rhett, growing impatient.

"Well what? Rhett, I don't want to talk about this. It's all so silly. So what if I spoke to Ashley in some girlish sentimental way? What does it matter now?"

"It doesn't matter a thing to me. For a moment I thought you might have had some sensitivity left in you-"

Scarlett was stung. Her eyebrows rushed together in a black frown. "Well, you didn't make it any easier,Rhett. You've always acted as if nothing ever mattered to you. You mocked people, laughed at the things they say and spoke such hateful things. I thought everything was just a big joke to you, the way you carried on- Do you think I could have been tender and gentle with you when I know that.. that-"

"What?"

"Never mind" snapped Scarlett, dully. She looked at Rhett's face and saw that it was cool and unmoved by her stumbling words. Suddenly she wanted him to feel as uncomfortable as she was feeling. She took a breath and began on an accusatory note,

"Ashley said the loveliest things, Rhett. He.. he said there were beautiful things buried deep in me and if people would just take the time to look, they'd see that- He said I..I always looked lovely to him-"

Rhett let go of her arm and took a puff from his cigar. Scarlett leaned forward earnestly.

"And when Ashley said such nice things, I naturally was more tender to him.. But I didn't love him, darling.. I never did."

"You told me."

Scarlett looked at Rhett with her heart in her eyes. "I would have loved you sooner, but you were so scornful and mocking of everything. And how could I possibly speak of the old days with you when I knew that you would despise me for it? Remember when we married,Rhett? You told me to forget all the past and enjoy myself in New Orleans and that's just what I did. Both of us did not live in the past, honey and we had such a good time! So, why do you drag all this now? What does it matter? You've never loved the Old South anyway-"

Rhett did not reply but Scarlett observed that the expression on his face had changed. He went on smoking his cigar, ignoring her gaze. And as Scarlett wondered at his present mood, she realized that she had seen that look before. She racked her mind and remembered that it was on the night they were fleeing the burning Atlanta. They were on the road to Rough and Ready, several miles away when the rear guard of the Confederate Army was passing by. And Rhett had been so sarcastic then. But when a boy stumbled with his fading strength and collapsed on the road, Rhett's expression had changed. He had seemed more pensive as he watched the older men carry the protesting boy over their shoulders and he had been very quiet. Just as he was now.

Scarlett put out a hand and laid it on Rhett's arm. Her hand trembled as she did so.

"Why Rhett.. you.. you do love the South, don't you? Bonnie didn't turn you into a sentimental person, you already were-"

The bitter look on Rhett's face told her that she was right.

"That's why you left me alone at Rough and Ready-" gasped Scarlett, with realization. "Oh I suspected it. You did want to join to join the Confederate Army and fight just like any other Southern gentleman.. Oh darling, why didn't you do so immediately? Why did you boast that they were all arrogant fools and you were so much cleverer than any of them? Can't you see that your contrariness was very difficult for me to understand? If you had told me that you were afraid of joining the army for fear of being an outcast, I.. I could have understood that.. Instead you boasted about making money when you didn't care about money, you spoke highly of Belle when you didn't love her and you teased and criticized me when you loved me all along- How could I have known-"

"I do not blame you-"

"You once did."

"I was foolish then-"

"Rhett, stop it!" cried Scarlett, tears springing at this off-handedly way in which he made his replies. The lack of love in his voice wrung her heart and turned it to ice. "I am trying to hard to understand you.. you told me that you were afraid to speak of your love because I'd laugh at you. But that was years ago,Rhett. I'd never laugh at you now. You.. you needn't be afraid.. " Then another thought struck her. "Rhett, is that why you were so proud that Bonnie wasn't afraid of anything? You wanted her to grow up brave, didn't you? Not like you?" Scarlett put out her hand on Rhett's cheek and tried to turn his face around. "Oh, I understand all this now, darling, I-"

She stopped when Rhett angrily pushed her hand away and stood up from the bed where he was lounging. He sunk his hands deep into his pockets and balled them into fists.

Then he began to speak.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 15**

"We both found ourselves in unusual predicaments, trapped- by the customs and traditions of the Southern society. You married a man you didn't love and he died unexpectedly in two months time, leaving you a widow at sixteen. Life became monotonous, dreary and sometimes intolerable. You were young enough to still be a charming Southern belle but you couldn't belong because you had married and you couldn't sit with the matrons for you were widowed and a widow was buried alive - dead to any form of social adventures. I was trapped, just like you, Scarlett. I shot and killed a man, in a duel that was my own fault and I was driven out without a penny in my purse. Suddenly everything that I had been taught turned out to be useless things. I could no longer be a Charleston gentleman and survive.. and I had to survive. So I did and I had a good time doing it too. And at the first chance I got, I re-entered our charming social circles once more and exposed the hypocrisy in people whenever I could- I hated the system. I was glad to see the empire come crashing down in all its glory-"

Rhett's voice softened.

"But, Scarlett- Although the customs were stifling and unbearable, unvarying and limiting, the people.. our people.. they are genuine- Take your Tarleton twins- They were a hot-headed, arrogant bunch but they came by their fortunes in work.. good, honest work of raising horses- If they had lived long, they would be genuine in their sentiments because of the rich background, the honest roots in country soil- Genuine people maybe predictable and tedious but they can be trusted and there is comfort in that trust-"

Scarlett smiled faintly as the memory of the twins came to her mind. She listened hard for Rhett was finally sharing his insight about people with her.

"But take your Yankee friends.. they came by their fortunes in one lucky stroke- They have no roots, they are drifters. They sailed into Atlanta one day, determined to scavenge and prosper from the ruins and with their pretty piles of money they were anxious to be accepted into the staggering Southern society. Naturally our people shunned them for easy money can never really be respected. They have no roots, no deep emotions-"

"Oh yes, Rhett- When Bonnie died.. I.. my friends tried to cheer me up but I only wanted someone who could really understand everything I had been through.. like Mrs. Merriweather or Mrs. Elsing-"

Rhett poured himself a drink from a nearby decanter.

Scarlett sighed softly. "I only made friends from the Yankees because they were so much more exciting than our people. They were so gay and carefree and I longed to be like that-"

"I know" replied Rhett, shortly. He finished his drink and eyed the glass. "So did Miss. Melly and even your precious Ashley and perhaps even Frank and Mammy-"

"What do you mean?"

"We were all waiting-"

"Waiting for what?" asked Scarlett, genuinely puzzled.

Rhett laughed softly in the dark. It was a low, cynical laugh, laced with bitterness. "My pet, you astonish me- After everything that's happened, you still sit there and wonder at the world like a child. You saw Governor Bullock and his Yankee government set up in the South and you saw the Democrats oppose him, stiff-necked and proud until the government was overthrown and even the military rule was waivered. You saw the Klu-Klux Klan rise and fall and finally the power was back in the rightful hands. What does all this tell you? The Old South may have flattened out against the wind but we shot back up just like ripe buckwheat-"

Scarlett's eyes rounded as the words of Grandma Fontaine came back to haunt her. She recited like a parrot,

 _"We bow to the inevitable. We're not wheat, we're buckwheat! When a storm comes along it flattens ripe wheat because it's dry and can't bend with the wind. But ripe buckwheat's got sap in it and it bends. And when the wind has passed, it springs up almost as straight and strong as before. We aren't a stiff-necked tribe. We're mighty limber when a hard wind's blowing, because we know it pays to be limber. When trouble comes we bow to the inevitable without any mouthing, and we work and we smile and we bide our time. And we play along with lesser folks and we take what we can get from them. And when we're strong enough, we kick the folks whose necks we've climbed over. That, my child, is the secret of the survival."_

"Oh Rhett" began Scarlett, tears glistening her eyes as the meaning finally struck her. "Oh, I never understood this before-"

"We were all waiting" said Rhett. "I was bitter, Ashley was bewildered and Miss. Melly.. Why, I believe she was the only one who enthusiastically hoped till the end that she would see the day when you kicked the neck of the Yankees-"

Scarlett began to sob at this. "I never meant to-"

"You saw me, didn't you? What did I do?" accused Rhett, mercilessly. "I made money by blockade running and food-speculating.. but when Bonnie was born, I gave my money away for the cause of the Democrats. I baited my own Yankee friends, I helped the Klu-Klux and I made sure that Confederate gold came back, one way or the other back to the Confederacy. You saw all this and yet what did you do-"

"One word from you and I would have-"

"No you wouldn't have because you are a stubborn, hard-headed woman" snapped Rhett, coldly. "Miss. Melly defended you to her friends because she thought that you were associating with Yankees only to stay afloat during the hard times and that when you finally became wealthy, you'd kick them and show your loyalty to the South. She waited for you until the day she died-"

Scarlett wiped her eyes in a handkerchief and blew her nose. "I thought Grandma Fontaine was talking nonsense when she said all this- What am I to do now?" Suddenly her eyes sparkled. "Rhett, come back with me. You've said so yourself, I've done so much wrong and people hate me. But if you come back, we can start again and maybe our people will visit us again and I can-"

"You can what?" asked Rhett, a hint of amusement in his dark eyes.

Scarlett caught the look and blinked. She too began to wonder what she would do. What would she do if Mrs. Merriweather and Fanny came for a visit? Would she turn cordial, swallow her pride and speak lies about how much she loved the Old South? Would she act like a ninny.. like Melanie.. dragging in every wounded soldier and shelter him in the basement rooms below.. would she entertain guests with tunes from the old piano? Some how that picture didn't strike very well in her grand palatial home!

And as Scarlett thought of her Peachtree house, her thoughts began to drift. She remembered herself - the money, the luxuries, the servants- She was the wealthiest woman in Atlanta and for her to masquerade in self-pity before the old cats was suddenly intolerable! Why should she want them to visit her?!

Rhett watched the change in her expression through knowing eyes. He watched her squaring her shoulders, struggling to chose between money and her childhood ideals- The struggle had previously brought him much amusement. Now, he knew her all too well and it no longer amused him.

"I don't know what I'll do" admitted Scarlett, at last. "I saw our old friends at Melly's funeral and nobody had anything kind to say. They all seemed to inquire about you a great deal. I'll get rid of my Yankee friends, if you like. Only-" Scarlett's expression softened. "Say that you will accompany me. I don't care who comes to our house as long as I can be with you. As long as I can make you happy-"

Rhett walked towards her, his fists still in his pockets, a ponderous expression on his face. "All right, I will come for a visit. But on one condition-"

"Oh, anything-" cried Scarlett, in happy gratitude.

"I want you to tell me everything that happened to you after I left you that night at Rough and Ready"

"I've already told you everything-I told you when you were in that jail-"

"I mean everything-"

"You mean, the Yankees and the theft and-" Scarlett glowered in annoyance. "Why do you want to know about that? There's nothing interesting in that!" She eyed Rhett in sudden suspicion.

Rhett smiled disarmingly. "Just a passing interest,my pet. I realized I never really heard your story.I only thought I knew it and I realized that a few details might have escaped me-"

"Well, those details don't matter" retorted Scarlett, mirthlessly.

"They might-"

"What do you mean?!"

"You sound so suspicious, Scarlett" laughed Rhett suddenly. "I wonder what secrets you keep-"

"I have no secrets!" cried Scarlett at this absurd accusation. "All right if you want to hear it, I'll tell you-"


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 16**

Scarlett mulled over Rhett's strange request and a black scowl spread over her face. "Great balls of fire! Why does he want to hear about the part of my life that I'd rather forget?!" she argued within herself. She directed suspicious eyes at Rhett once again. She knew him enough to connect his disarming smile to some devilry underneath. But Rhett looked cool and completely disinterested. Scarlett unwillingly ran over her various memories of hard labor and toil at Tara and shuddered inwardly. It was bad enough that Melly shouted from the rooftops over her "heroism" in saving the plantation but talking about it to Rhett was worse. She uneasily stole a glance at him once again. He still looked the same. Scarlett sighed. The hopes of Rhett joining her in her large manor was too attractive. She knew that if she could get him to the house, she could bide time and win him over somehow.

"Well, Rhett-" she began, gloomily. "After you left me at Rough and Ready, we arrived at Tara and Mother had died just the day before-"

Scarlett talked on and on. Sometimes her mood was elated and triumphant when she described how she got the cow and the sow and her young. She beamed when she recollected how she raided the white cabins of Twelve Oaks and found the vegetables safe from the thieving Yankees. Then her face clouded when she described the work that had to be done in the cotton fields. How everyone had objected to a little hard work - everyone except Melly. And then the bales of cotton stored in the barn.

Scarlett became animated as she spoke of the Yankee raiders who looted the plantation house and nearly took away Wade's trophy sword. When she mentioned all this, she was careful enough to maintain a cool, impersonal tone of voice. She cautiously left out all her emotions and only spoke of facts, eager to skip to the happier times. So, she sailed through the kitchen fire and the burnt up cotton.

She did not notice that during her speedy recital, Rhett's eyes were focused on her hands which were tensely tugging at the tassels of her wrap.

* * *

Scarlett described at length how they had to battle starvation and about the Yankee drifter who came to the house on his horse, hoping to steal from the family. She abruptly mentioned his fate at her hands and rushed into Will's arrival. Here she lingered longer, describing Frank's arrival and about their rising fortunes and then the taxes forced upon them.

Scarlett hoped to skip over the rest by reminding Rhett that he knew the things she had uttered in jail and he nodded to her to go on.

"Go on?" queried Scarlett, bemused. "There's nothing more to tell, I have told everything-"

"Until our marriage?"

"Rhett, this is absurd! I won't have it-"

"The deal is off then."

"Oh allright!" cried Scarlett, sourly. She began to talk of her marriage to Frank, the mills and the convicts. Then she talked about the night that Tony Fontaine came and in a hot flush of anger she blamed Tony for recklessly putting them all in danger after his murder of Wilkerson. Here, Rhett sat up and a distinct look of interest came into his eyes.

"You never told me this before", he remarked, off-handedly. He sauntered over and sat down beside Scarlett, his hands on his thighs. He took a deep breath and said, "So you pushed your own family to work and saved whatever animals and food you could find and just when you reaped your first bales of cotton, the Yankees came and took your hopes away. And you beat back the fire they started with a carpet rug-"

"Yes"

"And then you struggled and survived once again and once more, a Yankee barged in hoping to make his fortune from the gleanings. And you shot him. And then when you had some money and a horse and things were looking a little less bleak, Wilkerson piled up taxes on your land and you had to come to me to save your farm." Rhett's voice drawled on smoothly. "And when I couldn't help you, you married Frank and you started running his store and buying your saw mills and just when things were looking up again, Tony showed up-"

"That's right" said Scarlett, eagerly.

"You knew right then that no matter what you did, the Yankees would always have the upper hand. The Yankees would always be after you.. starving you-"

Scarlett's eyes brimmed with sudden tears. She hastily tried to wipe them away when the next few words from Rhett startled her.

"You played fairly at first but the Yankees wouldn't let you win, wouldn't they?"

"What did you say?" she faltered for Rhett had somehow hit the right spot.

"Don't look so shocked, Scarlett. I understand-" said Rhett, softly. "The war was over and you had to survive. But every time you built your little house, the wolf was at the door and you had to battle him alone. First you put that fire, then you shot the straggler, then married Frank and finally ran your mills. You were so afraid-"

"-of the Yankees" concluded Scarlett, dazed by how easily he had summarized her fears.

"It wasn't starvation that woke you from your sleep in cold sweat. It was the Yankees." Rhett smiled. "Who would have thought Scarlett O Hara would be just as scared of them as her little boy Wade- Is that why you befriended them?"

Scarlett did not respond. There was a faint frown and a far-away look in her eyes. She was remembering that night when Tony disturbed the peace Aunt Pitty's house. "It isn't to be borne!" he had said, just before fleeing to Mexico. She remembered the threats of confiscation, the unfair rules and the ever-present terrors that kept her awake at night."

"So helpless-" she mumbled. "They made me feel so helpless. I had to do something. I had to work harder-"

"You know Scarlett" said Rhett, softly. "On the night we fled Atlanta, I was driving up that nag down Peachtree street and you were just a young girl, swinging out of your house, horror written all over your face. And I made fun of you, teasing you that you were never afraid of anything, especially the Yankees. But I guess I was wrong. You really were afraid and if I had only looked at you with sincerity, I too would have realized that. Sure you worked hard and sure you saved your family and make your pile of fortune but you were afraid all the time that they were going to steal it away. They weren't playing fair. They kept changing the rules in their favor all the time."

Scarlett cupped her hands across her mouth and more tears moistened her cheeks.

"Ahh, don't cry, honey-" said Rhett, suddenly growing less cold and faintly affectionate. Scarlett was instantly in his arms and he stroked her hair. "It's all over remember. The Yankees aren't going to chase you through the mist anymore-" He sighed. "It's a real pity that you don't have a head for politics, Scarlett. Then you would have understood why the Yankees did what they did. Instead you just assumed they were all-powerful and an ever-present threat. You imagined them like some vague spectre whose workings you could not understand-"

"Rhett, how did you guess all this? I didn't know it myself-"

"That's because you've got a marvelously shallow mind. But I'll make things right-"

"What do you mean?" asked Scarlett, sitting up with hopeful eyes. "Do you mean to say that you love me after all?"

"I mean to say that I will make things right. I have wronged you- in a way and I will make things as they should be-"

Scarlett didn't question this. Instead she rested her cheek on Rhett's chest once again, very happy to feel the warmth of his arms once again.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Over the next few weeks, the Butler household began to make meticulous plans for Rosemary's wedding and the events thereafter. The wedding was to be a subdued affair and as Scarlett had guessed, Jeff Heyward was a middle-aged widower with no children and some property in West Virginia. Jeff was tall but seemed to slouch a little, as if it was a natural offense to be a head taller than everyone else. He mentioned once that he was involved in some business and quickly dismissed the topic, saying that he wouldn't want to bore the ladies. In Jeff's presence, Rhett was quiet and often moody. Scarlett on the other hand, turned on all her charm for she found Jeff very amusing. He was a respectable gentleman and knew several of the old families of Charleston. He evidently thought this was an indication of his upright character and throwing smug glances in Rhett's direction, proceeded to deliver the local gossip in a poorly disguised delicacy. Scarlett found this amusing because all the County boys she had known could tell her several wicked gossip without any affectation. This walking on eggshells was a new idea to her and seemed terrible silly.

"He's a dear old goose" she thought, throwing a glance at Rhett, who did not return her smile.

Scarlett bit her lip, annoyed. Something had changed over the weeks. She was getting that queer feeling when Rhett first came to Atlanta as a dashing blockade runner and then after thrilling everyone with his presence and goods, he proceeded to tear down his own reputation and make mockery of his own profession. Scarlett had watched that scene with tenseness and she was feeling the same tension now. Until then, Rhett had been quite good humored, kind and even a little light-hearted. But as the days went by, he was growing more and more boorish. He hadn't done anything about the letter, although he said he was going to. Instead, he grew subdued and grave.

Then Scarlett noticed other odd events as well. Rhett was once again being very generous by advancing a huge sum for Rosemary's wedding and her trip to Europe. But the family didn't seem to think so. Once again, they decided they couldn't reveal that it was Rhett's tainted money that was being put to use. They unanimously decided that this money too would bear credit to the old gentleman's thoughtful insurance scheme.

And in several conversations, especially those during the hot afternoons at the parlor when Jeff dropped by for a visit, he would inquire solicitously after Rhett and she would, for some strange reason, suppress her voice and talk as if she was speaking of someone difficult to handle or live with. It was on the tip of Scarlett's tongue to speak sharply to Rosemary but she controlled herself.

And once she even heard narrating the dueling incident to Jeff. The same solemn tone, a little laced with humor but evidently warning the newcomer of her son's ways. Scarlett thought it was extremely strange. According to Rhett,his father had been the stern, narrow-minded gentleman who had nearly starved his family to death. But here, the mother and the daughter held the old gentleman in good respect and spoke in hushed tones about Rhett.

Scarlett tersely mentioned this to Rhett one night and he merely snapped, "What of it?" before turning out the lights and falling asleep.

For a long while, Scarlett lay awake thinking. Somehow she knew that no matter what Rhett did, he would always be the blacksheep of the Butler family.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Scarlett's mind was not built for analysis. But after a particularly unsatisfactory evening at a ball with the Butler family, she returned home in her carriage, alone and annoyed. Despite her objections and pleas, Rhett decided not to attend the ball and instead left very early to the Charleston harbor office. So, Scarlett, wearing her new Paris creation, stepped up beside Rosemary to meet and greet the family's various acquaintances and friends. She gazed at the dancers with envy for she could not dance without Rhett. In Charleston, it was a scandal for a married woman to dance with anyone except the husband. Scarlet's temper was wearing thin already when she overheard Rosemary talk about the family to a friend. Once again, she heard Rosemary mention Rhett in hushed tones and a hint of strange deference to her deceased father. Yes, Rosemary was secretly relieved to be financially secure but she would never attribute her good fortune to Rhett. Yes, she was glad her father was dead but she never would stop quoting "Papa's words". To Scarlett, this was utterly maddening. And most of all, she wanted to dance!

So, she ascended the stairs of the Butler residence and observing a light in one of the rooms, peeped inside and found Rhett, cigar in hand and head immersed in a book. This fanned her wrath instantly.

"So, this is what you'd rather be doing than coming to the ball with me?" she cried, angrily.

Rhett looked up and gazed at her in a cool, impersonal way. "I am catching up on genealogy once again. Don't let it upset you, my pet, this is something that every Charleston gentleman knows and I am ashamedly learning it only now-"

"I don't care what you read!" snapped Scarlett, furiously. "Only I wish you wouldn't do it when we could have easily gone out and had a good time. I didn't dance a single dance this evening-"

"Poor thing. Wasn't good old Jeff-"

"Are you jealous of him?" cried Scarlett and instantly reddened as Rhett's black eyes conveyed the hint of mockery at her vanity that she knew so well. "Well, why won't you come? Rhett, look at me! I am dressed in new silk and I am wearing a diamond necklace, I feel happy and safe after so many months of sadness and now we finally have a chance to be happy together. And instead of having a good time, you want to act boorish and utterly bland. Great balls of fire! Jeff thinks he can walk all over you. He keeps making these snide remarks that I wish I could slap his face-"

"Temper, temper-"

"Don't you say that to me- Why can't you be your old self,Rhett? Now that we love each other?" Scarlett hesitated. "Now that I love you-"

"Do you, dear heart?"

"I thought I made it clear that night that-"

"Oh, Scarlett.. my memory isn't as bad as all that. I don't remember any declaration on your part and I still don't think you know what love is."

"Oh and I suppose you do? I suppose still clinging to the memory..of.. of Bonnie and.. and keeping all those past hurts and never enjoying life once again is your idea of love. I suppose forgetting your old self and turning dull and boring is..is-"

"Scarlett, do sit down. And don't make such speeches, darling, they are quite tedious to hear. I am catching up on genealogy because that is the first thing anyone in Charleston is ever interested in by way of conversation. And I was at the harbor office because I plan on buying a few ships once again and running goods to New York and England. I feel I miss the life at sea - calm and peaceful and this time, I will do things a little differently, with the tedious yet correct knowledge of the trading system. I am planning to give up my greedy ways, Scarlett and earn good, honest money.. not because I'm turning a new leaf but because.. well, perhaps those dull, boring people who endure hard labor have something that I do not have." Rhett grinned faintly, as if relieved yet amused by his own words. "And I need it very much, Scarlett. I find I-"

"If you are going out to sea, then I am coming with you!" cut in Scarlett, forcibly.

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes!"

"No, I don't believe that's true. I don't think you know what you want. You think you want me, but you've fallen in love with "my old self" as you put it. I no longer care for dances or songs by the piano. I longer want to entertain you with stories or tuck you to sleep from your nightmares. There is one wrong that I've done and that I will set right." Suddenly Rhett knit his eyebrows. He glanced at the clock nearby and thought for a moment. Then he grabbed Scarlett's hand and pulled her after him down the stairs. "We are going to Red River. I've been meaning to show you the exact spot where I killed Alec Calhoun."

* * *

Scarlett hugged her fur wrap tightly about her as she followed Rhett from the carriage to the banks of the river. The moon was in the sky and its beams glittered across the rushing waters. Rhett stood with his hands on his hips, looking intently, this way and that. Then he walked a few paces to the west and stopped. "This was the spot" he said, no emotion in his voice. His brow was furrowed in thought. "I stood near that sharp jutting rock, you see, over there and I fired my shot-" He shot a look at Scarlett but she was no longer impatient. Instead she was attentive for she felt she was about to see a part of Rhett that was hidden before. She waited for him to go on with his story.

"I had insulted that Calhoun girl. I refused to marry her and her brother came rushing like an angry goat to call me out for a duel. So, I took my pistol and went to Red River. And there he was, pompous and over-confident. He seemed to think that long speeches and snide remarks were going to win the duel for him. Poor chap."

"Rhett, how did he die? Did you shoot him at once?"

"No" Rhett hesitated. "Alec fired a shot at my leg and the bullet grazed just past my skin. And when it was my turn, I put my bullet right through his heart"

Scarlett felt sick to her stomach all of a sudden. If Alec shot at Rhett's leg, clearly he never meant to kill Rhett. He evidently had meant to walk away having kept his honor intact. But Rhett had killed him most unexpectedly.

"Rhett-" she faltered, in a whisper. "If..if he only shot at your leg, why did you kill him? You could have shot in the air or above his head- You needn't have killed him."

"You don't understand, Scarlett" said Rhett, in a soft voice that was barely audible. "I was so afraid-"


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 20**

"From the look on your face, I can tell you are wondering if I was afraid for my life" continued Rhett, with a subdued smile. "Well, I'll tell you, I wasn't afraid for my life. There are things much more terrible than losing one's life. At least in death, one can be at peace-"

"Hush! Don't speak such things!" cried Scarlett, advancing towards Rhett in haste. "Say a prayer quickly!"

"You misunderstand me, Scarlett. I am not tempting fate. I am merely trying to explain my change of temperament that seems to stir such anger in you. I once boasted and flaunted the fact that I am a monster of selfishness. Well, I am going to try and change that. When I spoke of my father, I wasn't completely honest with you. He was an old school gentleman, full of ideals and standards. He was a strict man and demanded implicit obedience from his family. And he liked me."

Scarlett looked surprised.

"Yes, the old man did like me once, when I was young and ignorant of the world. As long as I did what he told me and never questioned his authority, he was my firm supporter and provider. He was quite proud of me. But as I began to explore on my own, I found that several of his standards and ideals were impractical and rather superficial. When I resisted, he began to hate me. He would never chide me face to face. It was always through some other fool - a well-meaning friend or a distant uncle.. and my mother, well- she confided the family troubles in me. I was the eldest and she favored me above my brother and sister. "

"Pa loved me more than Suellen and Careen too-" said Scarlett with a reminiscent smile.

"Yes, but don't you wonder at times why your mother couldn't have been more of a friend to you?"

"Oh Rhett, mother was too good. She never had time because she was always giving herself to friends and the entire family who needed her-"

"Didn't you need her?"

"Yes, I always felt at peace when I threw my arms around her and buried my face in her skirts. I can still smell that lovely fragrance of lemon-verbena sachet that hung within the folds-"

"So naturally you shared your feelings about your various beaus?" mused Rhett, astutely.

Scarlett blushed. "Oh no! Never! Mother wouldn't understand-"

"But don't you think she ought to have?"

"Rhett, what are you driving at?"

"When your Pa confides in you about your mother and when you both make pacts to keep knowledge from her because she is gentle and frail, you are doing it at the expense of your own childhood needs. The truth was, you needed a mother and proper girl-friends to discuss about your beaus."

"That's just nonsense!" snapped Scarlett, brusquely. "Why, all the girls were always so envious of me-"

But Rhett interrupted her and continued his line of thought as if Scarlett's words had fallen on deaf ears.

"And now that I am forty five, I realize that I too carried unnecessary burdens during my boyhood years - the constant pressure from my mother to be a comfort and solace to my aging father who never so much as threw a passing glance at my budding individuality. " Rhett's voice grew soft. "And the fear of abandonment if I didn't-" Rhett grinned bitterly. "And isn't it ironic that out of the fear of losing their love, I did the very thing that would turn me out from their presence for a long long time-"

Rhett's voice suddenly broke. "That's why I.. I never wanted Bonnie to be afraid.. not afraid of material things.. but afraid of losing a father's love. I wanted to make sure that she always knew that I would be right next to her, encouraging her and comforting her all the way. So, perhaps.. this too was out of selfishness. One cannot live life through one's child- And I grew reckless in my dreams for her that I put her in danger and laid her to rest too soon-"

The emotion in these words were so simple that Scarlett easily understood and tears welled her eyes. She took a step forward and slipped her arm through Rhett's. He did not push her away.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Scarlett took longer than usual to select her dress as she prepared to accompany Rhett to the Calhoun residence. The day had finally come when Rhett was about to do something regarding his father's letter. But as Scarlett went about putting her attire together, she felt vaguely disturbed. Last night, when Rhett had finally confided a part of himself to her, she had felt gloriously flattered and enjoyed the brief intimacy. She had held Rhett's arm against her bosom and he hadn't pushed her away. Triumphantly she had told herself that this meant that he took comfort in her presence. Finally she had felt she was making inroads into Rhett's true self. The happier days did not seem so far away now.

But slowly a numbing thought crept in.

For the first time in his life, Rhett hadn't blamed her for his mistakes. The last long conversation that they had had the day after Melanie's death, Rhett had laid the blame entirely on Scarlett - for his despairing love, his envy of Ashley, his carefree parenting with Bonnie and even his illicit relations with Belle. Yes, he had laid everything to blame on Scarlett. And although the burden was more than she could bear, especially when she had just then fallen in love with him, she did take strange comfort in the fact that he had attributed so much power to her. He had even left the idea of divorce up to her. And from this she had drawn the courage that she could somehow get him back.

She knew his wounded areas. The latest being, his love for little Bonnie. She knew more about Rhett personally than many other people and she planned to stay right next to Rhett until she won his trust and then she could involve herself in those areas of his life and turn them around in the way she thought they ought to be. She was sure that in no time at all, Rhett would fall in love with her again and they would show the world that they were indeed meant for each other.

But somehow last night changed things.

He no longer blamed her. He blamed himself. And Scarlett knew by instinct that this meant that change was on the way. She knew this from her relations with Ashley. Ashley kept blaming the collapse of his world and his helplessness that Scarlett knew he would never change. She herself never blamed circumstances when the war was finally over. Instead she buckled down and changed.

Now she felt Rhett was doing the same. And a disturbing feeling arose that he was changing to leave her permanently. He was somehow using her to find himself. And after that, he was going to leave her for good.

Her hands shook and she nearly dropped the rouge box in her grasp.

Just then Rhett walked in and she very quickly drew back her hair and asked if he would be good enough to lace her into her stays. Rhett walked over with the same bland expression in his face and Scarlett purposely moved to the long mirror to observe him. As he tightened the cords, she remembered the last time he had tugged furiously at them, saying that he might even strangle her in his rage. All that rage directed at her, yes, even rage.. had seemed so vital and pleasurable. It felt powerful to know that she was the cause of someone's joy or pain. That she mattered. But now, from the reflection on the mirror, she realized with desperation that something had indeed changed. He was treating her with dawning respect - impersonal respect for some distant friend. He didn't even see through this ploy of hers as an act of desperation to find out if he was still attracted to her in some way. The old Rhett would have instantly grinned at her through mocking eyes, made fun of her barring her flawless white skin and the pursing of her red lips in the hopes for a kiss. This Rhett was content to make sure that he was doing a good job at tying the stays.. nothing more.

He didn't even spare her a look of pity or deem her as an insensitive child. Not even that.

Once he stepped away, Scarlett quietly mumbled, " Thank you" and a tear slipped down her cheek.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

The Calhoun residence far exceeded Scarlett's expectations in terms of grandeur and magnificence. The estate was huge and hemmed in by endless sprawling lawns. Seeing the bewildered look on her face, Rhett leaned close and said, "Calhoun people are avid golfers-"

"Golf?" echoed Scarlett, still staring at the sloping green.

"A sport.. er.. One of these days, I'll take you to a course myself and show you. It's a little like fox hunting.. only, the fox is a ball and instead of chasing it out of its hole over miles of open country, you drive it into a hole.. and there are no horses-"

"Then how do they move around?"

"They walk"

"Walk?!" gasped Scarlett in shock. Then her eyes narrowed in triumphant green slits and a distinct smirk twisted her red lips. "Well then, the girls in this family must be very brown skinned and freckled.. walking about in the sun, chasing after a silly old ball-"

"Yes and one must be fair skinned at all costs" muttered Rhett, gazing at Scarlett's flawless white arms and neck.

"Of course beauty isn't everything. A girl must have common sense and..and be gentle and kind-" Scarlett gazed pointedly at Rhett as she continued."...and they can well afford to be since the war is over and life is so much easier now..."

* * *

The butler led them into a small study where Mr. Calhoun was expected to meet them. But just as they were shown through the door, Mr. Calhoun himself was walking down the stairs and seeing Scarlett with Rhett, he quickly led the couple into a large drawing room where the rest of the family were gathered. Mrs. Calhoun was seated at a card table with her friends while her son was lounging on a large sofa.

"Send for Mr. & Mrs. Vale, James. Tell them that Mr. Rhett Butler and Mrs. Butler have come for a visit and should like to see them-" ordered Mr. Calhoun to his butler.

They were soon seated with the entire family present.

* * *

The conversations that followed were a true revelation to Scarlett. She saw a side of Rhett she had never seen before. Rhett was markedly polite and as suave as usual. But his tone was very sincere and rather shy. This alone astounded Scarlett for she had seldom listened to him speak without sarcasm in his words. Mr. Calhoun was a very grave, elderly gentleman. He was a very proud man for he listened to Rhett with patient yet cold courtesy. Mrs. Calhoun was nervous and very much upset by Rhett's appearance. No matter how many smiles Scarlett threw in her way, she continued to flutter and stumble over her words. Mr. Calhoun was reading Mr. Butler's letter when the Vales arrived.

Scarlett sized up Katherine Vale in a single glance. Katherine was a very beautiful woman and she knew it. She was dressed elegantly and a fine set of exquisite pearls graced her neck. But her lack of common sense showed itself very quickly. Ignoring the mood of the room, she addressed Scarlett rather gaily, remarking upon how well she looked and that they had heard of the O'Hara's and their connections with the Robillard family in the Savannah. She began to elaborate on her own husband's wealth and good connections and dropped glaring hints on how Charleston society looked down upon non-conformists. She would have prattled on were it not for Mr. Calhoun's decided interruption. Scarlett stole a glance in Rhett's direction and saw him looking ahead impassively.

Mr. Calhoun spoke about the loss of his son. He spoke slowly and deliberately. And then with the same deliberation, he spoke about the loss of old Mr. Butler. He gazed down at the letter and said, "You owe a great deal to your father, young man. I hope you now see the error of your ways and repent for the better."

Rhett replied in sincere humility. His face was as grave as Mr. Calhoun's.

The meeting ended with a crisp handshake and Scarlett could sense that a pardon was given.

* * *

"I must say you handled the whole thing marvelously, Rhett" remarked Scarlett, impressed. They were returning home. "Although it was strange to see you humble yourself so much. You must really want the old days to return when you can be a fine Charleston gentleman-"

"Perhaps-" replied Rhett, his eyes intense and lost in thought.

"Although I do think Katherine Vale is a cow. Oh Rhett, she thinks that she is so witty and charming but in reality she's just an old maid. Why, she couldn't do justice at all to that lovely Paris creation she was wearing - I don't think I've ever seen such wide hips and thick arms. And she wouldn't stop talking about how happy she was after that "incident"- Why, she is nothing but a brazen-" Suddenly she became aware of Rhett's eyes staring at her in amusement. She stopped speaking and grinned back. "What is it?"

"Scarlett, I am relived" Rhett leaned back in the coach's broad seat and stretched out his long legs. He tipped his hat over his head and closed his eyes with a sigh. A genuine fondness crept into Scarlett's gaze. But just as she colored and suppressed her feelings, she heard Rhett speak,

"I'd keep a distance from good old Jeff, if I were you." he drawled. "The last thing Rosemary needs is a scandal-"

"Just what do you mean by that?" snapped Scarlett, in quick temper.

"Just as I said. Jeff may seem harmless and old-fashioned. But I know people better than you, Scarlett and he's not one of the best."

"Then why do you let your own sister marry him?" returned Scarlett, smartly.

"Never mind that, madam. Only remember what I say and try to abide by it."

Scarlett was too angry for words.

* * *

"That sweet and charming Mrs. Butler." Jeff had never seen such a vibrant and vivacious person, so full of gaiety and yet so demure. He remembered the way Scarlett moved her graceful figure about the small parlor and the play of her gloved hands on her lap. Mrs. Butler had been a Southern Belle and Jeff felt she still was. Why couldn't Rosemary be more like her? How easily Mrs. Butler laughed to his jokes and how well she complimented him. She was vulnerable and yet bold. "A beautiful woman" he whispered to himself. "And that Butler fellow has somehow nabbed her!" Jeff shuddered at the knowing smile that Rhett had shot him during one evening after an hour long flirtation with Scarlett Butler. Jeff had colored and instantly reached for his hat and gloves to make his leave. He despised Rhett. He would do anything to wipe that ugly smirk off his face.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

The Butler family couldn't fathom how but the news of Rhett's reconciliation with the Calhoun family spread far and wide amongst the Charleston society with a mater of days _."Yes, but was the rascal entirely penitent? That is what I should like to know-"_ went on the gossip. Some attributed the reconciliation to old Mr. Butler's letter, which had become famous now. Some said it was because Scarlett Butler. Scarlett was such a charming woman with two adorable children! Who could stay cold at the face of such a sweet family?

More people came forward at parties, asking to be introduced to the Butlers. Scarlett herself, glowed with pleasure for the grand Remembrance Ball was a week away and Rosemary's wedding soon after that. The increasing friendliness of several Charleston families was extremely welcome at this time.

"Rhett, isn't it wonderful how people are finally starting to notice us? The last party, the Beauregard ladies actually came up to me for a pleasant conversation. I thought they were frightfully snobby and they drawled out every word in their awful Southern accent.. but I don't mind. Anything is better than to play a mute companion to your mother and sister-" Scarlett peered anxiously at Rhett. "People are curious about you too, Rhett. I spoke very well of you. I told them that-"

"Don't get too comfortable here, Scarlett. I was planning a trip for us to visit your family in Savannah-"

"Savannah?!" laughed Scarlett, incredulously. "You can't be serious! Whatever makes you think that I would ever visit that dreary old place?"

Rhett carefully filled his pipe and mused, "I thought you might like to familiarize yourself with your relatives who have a more traditional, Southern-society standing. It might come useful during the Remembrance Ball-"

"Most of the Robillard family were driven out of their estates by the Yankees. Who knows who lives there now-"

"The more mysterious, the better-"

"Oh Rhett, you can't be serious!" snapped Scarlett, in irritation. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I believe you have some hidden reason for wanting to go to Savanah. You.. you are trying to-"

"If its honesty you want, then yes.. I have always been interested in the noble Robillard family. It might be a good change for me to delve into the lives of some of your relatives. Don't worry, my pet. I won't profess of my ardent love for you in front of your family and whip up a dashing, romantic proposal-"

Scarlett ruffled at this and pretended to ignore Rhett's words. The latter smiled and went on peacefully smoking his pipe.

* * *

But Rhett's casual suggestion buried itself deep into the recesses of Scarlett's mind and began to grow. There were two reasons for this. The first one was, ever since the reconciliation, Jeff faithfully brought Scarlett his news about the Calhoun family.. their wealth and connections. At first, Scarlett brushed this aside. But as the accounts of the family's fortunes grew above Rhett's assets, Scarlett began to grow anxious and worried. And with these uncomfortable feelings, grew the stronger feeling of envy. She tactfully put forth her questions to Jeff about how the Calhoun family were so very prosperous, despite the Yankee government, but Jeff was annoyingly dull in this respect. He had no imagination or clever thinking. He wasn't Rhett. While Jeff was notoriously skilled at delivering gossip, he never seemed to have an opinion of his own. A decidedly weak character. So, with a heavy sigh, Scarlett turned to Rhett.

After much deliberation, she put forth this question,

"Rhett, you remember once when you had so much gold that you could buy all of Five Points but you were worried that the Yankees might take it away from you? Well, the Calhouns have invested in land and look at how rich they are! It is as if they never faced the war!"

"Politicians often find loop-holes to escape consequences, Scarlett. Don't look so glum. By the end of the week, I'm sure the charming Mrs. Vale will make you her bosom friend and very soon, you shall join the party in chasing that little white ball over the green!"

Scarlett bristled at this but it was all very true. While she had first despised Katherine Vale, the latter had personally sought her out and spoken very amicably to her. Katherine Vale complimented and praised Scarlett into a state of bliss. But with the compliments, there came pointed questions about Rhett and Scarlett's own family. Scarlett never mentioned that her sister was married to a Cracker or that another sister was at the Charleston convent. She conveniently left out those details in her conversations and began to wish more and more that she had taken Rhett's suggestion of leaving to the Savannah more seriously. Scarlett fel that she simply had to know the details of her Robillard family so that she could boast of them during the Remembrance Ball.

And so, just days before the ball, Scarlett and Rhett were on a train bound to Savannah. Scarlett was visiting to discover her relatives once again. Rhett was accompanying her to discover secrets about Phillippe Robillard.

And he knew just where to begin-


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Rosemary picked up her knitting with a faint look of worry on her face. She had worn a new bonnet and a lovely paisley shawl was draped across her shoulders but Jeff hadn't once complimented her on how lovely she looked. He had done so several times before. But that evening, his mind was clearly elsewhere. Rosemary had a vague suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that Rhett and Scarlett had left so suddenly to Savannah. Jeff had taken the news in undisguised surprise. And quickly he had posed various questions about why Scarlett should suddenly visit her Robillard family - if she had found something offending in any of the Charleston parties. This suggestion vexed Rosemary. In fact, Jeff's poorly veiled admiration for Scarlett tried her patience sore. Yes, Scarlett was vivacious and charming but surely he must understand that his first duties belonged to his betrothed. "Perhaps I am a little too suspicious and narrow-minded..." wondered Rosemary.

Suddenly she was very glad that her wedding was only a few weeks away. Jeff would be safely married by then and she would rush him off on their tour of Europe. Rosemary smiled in satisfaction at this and breathing a sigh of relief, she began to knit in a calmer state of mind.

* * *

It was past midnight when the horses slid to a quiet stop just outside the large creole house of Miss. Cora Hester. One of the men dismounted and walked around to the back of the house. He knocked softly on the door. Within seconds, the door opened and he walked inside.

The room was well lit and well-heated. The maid carefully collected the gentleman's hat and gloves and stepped back as he hung his long black cloak on its stand. Rhett turned around and nodded once to lady of the house. "I thank you for receiving me at so late an hour, Miss, Cora.. but you must understand that my family's reputation is at stake here-"

"Yes, of course I do, Monsieur-" replied Cora, quickly. Her voice carried a thick French accent and she was a beautiful, French woman. Cora's face carried a few age lines but by the way she carried herself, no one could have suspected her real age was around fifty and that she had once been the Madame of a most discreet whorehouse in Savannah.

Rhett grinned and showed a line of white teeth below his closely clipped moustache.

"Monsieur Rhett, when you approached me regarding Phillippe Robillard, I did not know what to make of your strange request. He did visit my house and partook of the various entertainments offered here- But it was so many years ago. You must understand that if I possess any memories of him at all, it was because he was an utterly charming visitor. And he carried within himself - such a troubled heart-"

"All the more attractive, I suppose-" replied Rhett, good-humoredly.

"Ah, I jest not- This man was in love. It was to fight away his feelings that he came here. He wanted to forget her-"

"May I see the letters?" interjected Rhett, quickly.

"Remember what I told you, Monsieur- The memories of him may be faded or torn. I cannot account for them-" warned Cora as she swayed over to a beautiful ebony cabinet and drew out a long,flat box of shell. She drew out a shred of faded parchment paper and a small silver object. "She was his love-" declared Cora, dramatically as she handed over the daguerreotype to Rhett. Rhett studied it as he peered into the sweet,innocent face of Scarlett's mother for the first time. "Beautiful", he whispered.

"And here is the scrap of the letter she had wrote him- He left it here, forgotten- The week later, he was dead-"

Rhett's eyes ran along the faded lines,

 _"Dearest darling,_

 _Come back to me, Phillippe. I am in acute distress, shaken by this feverish feeling of love, so sweet and yet so overwhelming. We belong together, you and I, one heart beating in two different bodies. I belong to you. You alone fill me with such laughter and happiness. My eyes shine with joy, my lips twitch with feeling- I long to be near your side. Oh my heart, why mustn't we run away together? I long for freedom - the same way you do- My family sees me as a shy, silly girl of sixteen, but I am so much more. With you, I am indeed so much more. Oh why delay when I offer a world of happiness to you? I write these lines and my lips graze the places where I mention your name- I love you so, Phillippe. I could never love anyone else as much as I love you. I could never belong to anyone else. I would rather die than to be with anyone else. This light in my eyes will fade, all happiness and good humor will be drained from my lips. I will cease to live, if I should ever lose you. Such life, such despair- I would loathe everything so.. so desperately! Oh, let our fates not be so cruel! What is life if we cannot love each other and belong to each other? I-"_

Cora wiped a tear and choked, "Beautiful, is it not?"

Rhett could only return a look of stunned silence.

* * *

Scarlett stirred lightly in her sleep as Rhett softly walked across the carpets to his bed. He undressed quickly and while walking past her to put out the candle, he peered into her face. A look of gentleness crept into his expression. Rhett was glad that he had read the letter and seen the daguerreotype. He know understood Scarlett's mother clearly. And he understood Scarlett. Suddenly he reached out and faintly caressed the side of her oval face. His touch caused her to stir lightly. But she continued sleeping, unaware of Rhett's changing feelings.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Ellen's letter, folded up and pressed carefully, found its new home in the white waistcoat pocket of Rhett Butler. The frantic emotions of the writer, calling if not begging for the return of her exiled lover tugged at Rhett's heartstrings. It moved him simply because this was the kind of fiery passion he was hoping to find in Scarlett when she finally fell in love with him. The urgency, the despair, the hasty promises - anything to keep from being apart- He had waited for these emotions for so many years. And upon reading the letter, he formed a vastly different picture of Scarlett's mother - the real Ellen O'Hara, so glaringly different from the image that Scarlett seemed to worship.

Rhett stirred from his thoughts and found Scarlett seated across the cane table, her mouth in an angry pout.

"Rhett, if you are planning to go off gallivanting on your own, you could at least have the courtesy to tell me so. I had made arrangements for three house calls and I had to make them all by myself." Scarlett angrily stirred the sugar cubes in her coffee cup as she basked in the warmth of the morning sun. The Butlers were seated in the flowery verandah of the Savannah Hotel, just finishing their breakfast in a leisurely pace.

"So, how did you like reacquainting with your mother's relatives?"

"It was awful and terribly boring." replied Scarlett, mournfully. "If it weren't for their respectability, I would forget all about them."

"How are their fortunes holding up after the trials of the war?"

"Quite well, apparently. I was surprised."

Rhett smiled and grew thoughtful.

"And where are you planning on going today?" asked Scarlett, with an arched eyebrow.

"Nowhere madam, I would follow you to the ends of the earth-"

Scarlett had to grin at this jovial reply but her eyes peered curiously and rather shrewdly at Rhett. She could sense a new lightness in his being and wondered what it meant. Then her features clouded. "It must mean something awful" she concluded sourly. "I have done a thing to put him in a good mood. So, it must mean that he is upto something - something probably vile and upsetting-"

* * *

The day of the Remembrance Ball had finally arrived. A single social event in honor of the brave souls lost during the Southern resistance. The hall was huge and lit with thousands of candles and gas lamps. It was nearly full when the music began to play. Scarlett swayed absently as she waited for Rhett by the tall glass windows. Her lovely gown of green and deep purple with a fashionable neck-line, set off her diamond necklace to perfection. Scarlett had piled her hair high above her head from where her black locks descended in lovely curls. Jeff spotted her at once in the crowd. But before he could walk up and bow to her, Rosemary caught his eye and beckoned him with a stern gaze. Bowing from where he was, Jeff reluctantly joined his fiancé who looked rather drab in comparison to Scarlett Butler's magnificent, youthful form.

Scarlett stamped her foot impatiently. She opened the window and walked across the large oval balcony. Leaning from the curving marble, she caught Rhett in deep conversation with an elderly lady, rather fluttery and silly looking, an Aunt perhaps. Scarlett did not know her but she decided to walk up to them and drag Rhett inside. At this rate, they may miss all the dances!

* * *

Just as she approached them, Scarlett laughed out loud. Her voice merrily pealed across the wide park. "Rhett?! Rhett, is that you? I've been looking for you everywhere and here you are , deep in conversation without even sparing me an introduction-"

"Scarlett, this is my father's younger sister - Aunt Celia Bennett."

Aunt Celia took Scarlett's hand in both of hers and squeezed them warmly. "You have a lovely wife, Rhett. I am so glad to meet you, my dear. Rhett had told me several things about you-"

"Oh, I hope they are good things" laughed Scarlett,infectiously.

"Why certainly-" Aunt Celia put a palm on Rhett's cheek and caressed him affectionately. Her wrinkled eyes snapped in amusement and a white lock shook out of her hair bun. "But I must be on my way. I am too old to stay so late at balls and parties-"

"I will see you to the coach" replied Rhett, guiding his Aunt through the crowd of coaches and coachmen. When he returned, he quietly picked up Scarlett's arm and led her up the steps to the hall.

A slow waltz was struck up and the lovely strains set Scarlett swaying once again. "Rhett, I know you said you didn't care to dance but-"

Rhett bowed solemnly and said, "Madam, would you like to join me in this beautiful waltz?"

Scarlett's face softened at once. Her anxiety vanished and as if stepping into a dream, she allowed Rhett to lead her to the dance floor. They began to dance.

* * *

No other couple danced as fine as Scarlett and Rhett. Scarlett felt the gaze of several Charlestonians and a thrill of pleasure shot up her spine. Her eyes shyly met Rhett's and she looked a little surprised to find him staring back at her. "How do I look?" she asked, her eyelids fluttering.

"Stunning" replied Rhett, shortly.

"Rhett, do you remember the first time we danced?" asked Scarlett, eagerly. "You looked every bit like a dandy and I in my mourning dress.. and you paid one fifty dollars in gold for my hand- Such a large such to dance with a simple country girl like me-"

"Yes, that was a lot of money, wasn't it?" grinned Rhett at the memory.

"And we danced so well. And you paid a compliment to my eyes.. you said-"

"Scarlett, let us not keep quoting the past" said Rhett, still smiling. "We are here now and we are dancing. Let us enjoy this moment.. for what it is-"

Scarlett smiled back. She knew Rhett was right. She could hardly believe her ears when he said that she looked stunning. There was no sarcasm, no contempt. Still, she felt very worried. She was happy after a long time and she was afraid that this was only a fleeting happiness.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

When the dancing was over, the people gradually moved to the grand banquet room. The multi-tiered ceiling was detailed with exquisite marble carvings and the walls were adorned by oil paintings of the war heroes. There were antique ebony dining tables covered in snowy white lace cloth. Silver bowls of roses were arranged tastefully on the tables such that the silver gleamed under the light from the gigantic glass chandelier. A solemn hour was spent in listening to important dignitaries recounting the events of the Civil War and the honorable sacrifices made for the Glorious Cause of the Old South. When the last speech was over, a troop of servants entered and quickly began to serve the people began to chat gaily as they nibbled delicately on choice pieces of mutton and lamb.

At the second table to the right, a certain lady was capturing the attention and imagination of everyone seated there. There was nothing extraordinary about her. She was dressed fashionably, her hair was piled up in a top bun which was unusual for a Charlestonian. So, perhaps she was a visitor. Yet there was something alluring about her. A gentle movement of her hand, gliding gracefully to pick up her champagne glass and the gentleman at the far end could appreciate the delicate diamond bracelet on her slender wrist. The wrists seemed to dance whenever the lady spoke. They bobbed and turned, so carelessly, so seductively. And how sweetly did her diamond earbobs twinkle with the each nod of her head. A few ladies subconsciously copied it but they could hardly produce the same effect. And when the lady laughed, which was quite often since everyone beside her seemed to want her to be merry, her voice rang out in a soft melodious peal. She would quickly flush and turn coy at the attention she was drawing and scold her listeners for making her such a spectacle. Thrilled by her shyness, the others tried their best once more. All the while, the lady's green eyes snapped with delight and timid mischief. She seemed to put the entire party in a light-hearted, high-spirited mood.

"Such fine manners and charming disposition!" muttered a gentleman appreciatively to his wife. "Why can't our accomplished young ladies be more like her instead of appearing so dowdy and prim. I wish I knew that remarkable young lady-"

"She is Captain Rhett Butler's wife" came the hissing reply, half-tinged with jealousy.

Katherine turned to Scarlett, her heavy gold bangles clanging softly against one another,

"Katie, whatever do you mean by rushing into Charleston like this and dancing at the ball so divinely that you could shame even the most graceful of Charleston belles? There were green eyes in every corner of the room!"

"Katherine, you mustn't tease me." cried Scarlett, her eyes snapping with merriment. "It's too cruel. Isn't she cruel, Rhett?" Scarlett threw a fleeting glance in Rhett's direction. Rhett grinned more to himself and turned to answer the gentleman who sat next to him.

"Of course, I had my day, before this whole war started- Life has changed so much now. Its difficult to remember the old days except in balls like this." she sighed.

A lady beside Scarlett meekly interjected out of timid curiosity. "I do find your hair innovation quite fashionable, Mrs. Butler. The curls combed to the front render a distinct look of regality to your face-"

Scarlett bestowed the lady with one of her sweetest smiles but turned to answer Katherine. "Rhett tells me exactly what the latest fashion is in Paris and England. He travels ever so often, you see and he hears of these things so much faster. It is always so wildly thrilling when he brings home a delicate ornament for me-"

"Quite the perfect husband" remarked Katherine, quietly glowering with envy. Scarlett's green eyes ran over Katherine fleshy round face, shaking and twitching with humor and thought how much she looked like an old farm cow that chewed dry grass all day.

"Oh Its a pity we have to chat like this only at balls and parties. I wonder if you would think I was imposing if I invited you over to our house next Sunday?"

"Not at all. I can vouch for Rhett that we have no prior engagements. We would love to visit you."

"Good, then I'll invite Rosemary and Mrs. Butler as well. " beamed Katherine Vale. She suddenly brightened as she saw her chance at taking a shot at Scarlett. "I saw Jeff for a brief moment and he was in raptures about well you looked, Katie. He was quite taken up by your charm."

These words were said loudly enough to fall on both Rosemary and Jeff's ears. Rosemary threw a reproachful glance in Scarlett's direction while Jeff's face turned beet red. The softness in Rosemary's expression caused a twinge of conscience in Scarlett and seeing the arrival of dessert plates at the table, she distracted Katherine from continuing on that unwelcome subject.

"You must possess a sweet tooth, Katie. My, my.. I could faint seeing the quantities of meringue and cream on your plate!"

* * *

"Did you have a good time, Scarlett?" asked Rhett as he walked down the street to the house on the Battery with Scarlett by his side.

"Oh Rhett, I had the most wonderful time" effused Scarlett, her eyes shining like emeralds. "I can't understand why I thought Charleston was so dreary before. Things have changed so much now. And everybody was so nice to us-"

"It's a pity then that we would have to leave all these people for Atlanta."

"Yes that's true" agreed Scarlett, her face clouding instantly. "Everyone in Atlanta hates me and when we arrive there, there's bound to be a fresh round of gossip-"

"Then why don't we do this, Scarlett - Why don't I arrange a reception for you at our house and invite everyone for the occasion?"

"A reception.. for me?" blinked Scarlett, puzzled.

"Isn't your birthday coming up next month?"

"Oh!" Scarlett stood speechless in surprise before breaking out into laughter. "Why Rhett, what a lovely idea! What a splendid idea! It's just what we need after everything that's happened at Peachtree. I doubt if the old cats will show up but I know India and-"

"I'll bring my mother and sister along and invite people on their behalf. No one could refuse to visit the Butlers no matter the past offenses-"

"Rhett, you are good to me." Scarlett looked faintly nervous at the determined expression on Rhett's face. "I do feel a little suspicious that this isn't one of your vile jokes, Rhett. You're being so kind to me and I haven't done a thing to help you to it."

"Well, I think it's time you had a little enjoyment for yourself. I am up to no devilry I assure you-"

"A reception in my honor!" sighed Scarlett, pleasurably. "It's as if I am living in a wonderful, wonderful dream-"


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Scarlett arrived first at Peachtree house. She had tried her best to convince Rhett to travel with her to Atlanta but he wouldn't be moved. Yes, he was going to hold a reception but he didn't think it was necessary to visit their own mansion any sooner than a week before the event. Scarlett was left in a state of agitation. She didn't care about her friends in Charleston or about the newly wedded Rosemary and Jeff. Instead there were several more important things to think about. She worried about how she would get her house ready and the various guests she would invite.

She decided rather reluctantly that it would be unwise to invite her Yankee friends. Rhett never associated with his Yankee friends except on his trips to New Orleans and in saloons so she meant to do the same. Now she wondered about her gown. A sudden thought pkrompted her to drag out the dove gray taffeta from her closet. It did not outline her figure and wasn't particularly attractive but it was what most women in Atlanta wore for a quiet reception with family and friends. The gown seemed particularly attractive since Rhett had specifically mentioned that dove grays were matronly and she wanted to look like a matron.

Scarlett suppressed a smile. The reception was very important to her since it was her opportunity to show how much she was in love with Rhett and he with her, despite the tragedy of Bonnie's death. She wanted everyone to see that Rhett was madly in love with her and she would tone down her extravagant life just to be with him. Yes, this was exactly the sort of picture Scarlett wanted to present. She imagined herself standing alongside Rhett near the doorway, receiving her old friends and family. And then the cake would appear and perhaps Wade and Ella would present her with a rose bouquet.

Scarlett dimpled and quickly sent Prissy to fetch the children.

* * *

Rhett sent out the invitations and he was very careful to include Mrs. Butler's name in the card. And just as he had prophesied, several of the invitations received replies. The people of Atlanta were plainly curious to know the state of affairs at the Peachtree house and they couldn't refuse Rhett and Mrs. Butler, even if they didn't like Scarlett very much. Meanwhile Scarlett was thrilled. So, out went the dove gray dress and she selected a lovely apple green watered silk down, covered with intricate embroidery and sewn with little white pearls. Rhett watched her make her preparations with muted amusement. He looked especially startled the night before the reception when Ella and Wade came into their room wearing only their night clothes. Ella was carrying a small bouquet which she shyly handed over to her mother.

"Oh Ella!" cried Scarlett, vexed. "That wasn't the way we rehearsed at all!"

"What's all this?" asked Rhett, puzzled.

"Ella and I are presenting flowers to mother on her birthday, Uncle Rhett" said Wade, with a smile on his face.

"A very nice gesture, I admit. But why the rehearsal?"

"Rhett, it was my idea-" cut in Scarlett." Wade is old enough to stay up for parties and Ella would want to stay up too. So, I thought it might be nice if they could come up after the cake cutting and do a little curtsy and present a lovely bouquet-"

"Curtsy!" Rhett began to laugh. "Isnt that a little too much? No wonder Ella looks to bewildered-" He reached out and took Ella's hand and said, " Why don't you run up to your other and give her the hardest hug you can give? And then give your bouquet-"

Ella gazed shyly from Rhett to Scarlett.

"Rhett,don't be silly! I'd rather she didn't do it than-"

The sudden diffidence in Scarlett's tone and manner seemed to encourage Ella who running up,threw her arms around Scarlett's waist and pulled her to a hug. Wade, taken up by the moment, shyly gave a peck of a kiss on Scarlett's cheek. Then Ella have her bouquet. Scarlett, surprised and touched by her children's gesture. She returned a bright smile and nodded, "That will do. I'll ask the florist for a bigger bouquet tomorrow-"


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Scarlett felt strangely excited as she stood alongside Rhett to receive her guests. She gazed at the door - the very same door through which Rhett had walked out saying that he never cared a damn about her anymore. And yet, here he was, next to her, as large as life. His very presence seemed to assure her that he still loved her. "And..." Scarlett hesitated. "..seems to prove that I can be loved by someone-" And all the guests, staunch Southerners, stepping into her mansion for a party. That must also be a good sign that people still wanted her and loved her. Scarlett's gaze diverted to the sculptures on the lawns and the lights that brightened the driveway. She eyed the interior of the house which was as imposing as ever. Surely, she could capture the admiration of her guests!

* * *

The cake was cut and in a truly sweet moment, Wade and Ella rushed in and gave their bouquet. The guests stood around the large dining table, India and Aunt Pitty, the closest and Mrs. Merriweather standing right next to Mrs. Butler. This was when Rhett casually handled his glass of wine, in a quiet effort to propose a toast. Scarlett's fingers closed around her glass and she was in happy smiles until Rhett began to speak-

"Before we drink to Scarlett's health, I would like to say a few words." he drawled, resonantly. His eyes were as hard as gimlets. "Many years have passed since the war and reconstruction but I would like to allude to a few of those memories tonight. After the war, the people of Atlanta who had evacuated to different cities further down South, returned to their homes only to find them burnt to the ground. So, they built up their courage and taking up their wheel barrows and carts, they went around looking for materials, brick, sheets, metal, anything- to rebuild their old homes. It was a difficult time, families lived together, starved together but somehow they pulled through and most of them survived. So, we all know how difficult it was to get back the houses - back to a decent, living condition. So, we can only imagine how impossible it might have been for a person to try and restore an entire plantation back to a decent, workable land-"

Scarlett's eyes turned round with growing surprise and horror. Suddenly her heart sank and color drained from her face. She just realized that nagging doubt about Rhett's intentions. He was going to reveal everything she ever told him that night in Charleston! He was going to humiliate her! Her hand shook and with superb effort, she managed to tilt her eyes down and smile.

* * *

"And that is what Scarlett did." continued Rhett. "She decided before anyone else could that no one was going to starve her family or herself. She decided that she was going to restore her father's land. Now, on the night we left Atlanta for Tara, as you all know, Miss. Melly had just given birth to little Beau and I brought around an old nag which I had stolen from a neighbor's yard and I came riding down this very street and there was Scarlett, swinging out of her porch, terror over her strained face. She was terrified that the Yankees were going to get her. The terrible Yankees of whom we had heard so many blood-curdling tales - riping open pregnant women's stomachs and bayonetting their babies-"

An embarrassed flush went over the faces of the young ladies present over such a speech but Rhett didn't seem to notice. Instead he smiled to himself and looked at Ashley when he said, "These fears may seem strange now - but you must remember that Scarlett was only nineteen-"

"It wasn't an ordinary fear. The kind of fear that perhaps, you, Dr. Meade would have had. You, Sir were upset that the Yankees were blocking medicines from arriving at Atlanta and that men were dying by the hundreds and there was nothing you could do about it. So, you hated the Yankees. And me-" Rhett grinned. "I hated the Yankees because they were bringing about so much waste. The war, the money, the men's lives - all wasted! I hate waste of any sort. And for others- their worlds were forever changed, irrevocably altered. Most of us, we struggled because things would never be the same. And that was why we hated the Yankees. But Scarlett-"

Rhett turned and gazed directly at Scarlett and she returned a look of bewilderment mixed with acute shame.

"Scarlett was afraid of the Yankees in a way similar to when a child is afraid of demons in the closet."

A faint smile lighted Ashley's gentle face and Scarlett felt a wave of embarrassment flooding her senses.

"She didn't understand the Yankees. She didn't understand why they set fire to things or the coming of the new government. All she knew was that food was scarce, the Confederate Army was after the remaining farm animals and stragglers from both armies were hunting around for any kind of valuables worth pawning. And she was ready to fight them off. Not by the rules of society. But by the instinct of a cat when cornered by danger."

Scarlett could have sunk to the ground at the horror of these words. Her fingers trembled and her eyes pleaded for Rhett to stop. Here she was, dressed in fine clothes and enjoying this lovely reception and Rhett was mercilessly tearing down her dignity. She glanced with faltering eyes at the people around the table, They were listening intently to Rhett - Ashley seemed mildly amused and sympathetic, India was dabbing at her eyes, Aunt Pitty looked bewildered, Mrs. Meade looked prim just like Mrs. Elsing, Dr. Meade tugged at his beard and appeared serious.. She couldn't see the remaining faces for they were a little away but she imagined them laughing at her, at her cowardice.. and Scarlett writhed under shame once again-

"And so, Scarlett had the servants round up whatever animals and food was left. And just when they had a little to eat and hand-picked and cleaned cotton in their sheds, some troops from Sherman's army came galloping in to glean the remains from the survivors. They took away a few treasurers and the sow tied under the plantation house's floorboards-"

Scarlett laughed uncomfortably and a tear glistened her eye at the awful turn of events.

"Then they set fire to the kitchen and Scarlett had to beat the fire out with carpets. She nearly got burnt alive. You would have heard this story from Miss. Melly. She made out Scarlett to be quite a hero. And so the family survived again and just a few weeks late, a deserter from the Yankee Army violated their premises and threatened to steal. Again, Scarlett saved the family's fortunes. She took his horse and was able to go into town and buy some food. And again, for the second time, when the family was finally gathering some cotton and things were looking up, Jonas Wilkerson, the family's overseer, a Yankee, decided to provoke the Carpetbaggers to raise the taxes on Tara so that he could buy the place for Emmie Slattery. And again, Scarlett was left to her wits to gather three hundred dollars for taxes. Fortunately Frank Kennedy was able to help her. So, the Yankees weren't playing fair. First they try to make off with the pitiful possessions they had left, then a deserter tried to steal her Mother's jewels and now, they could even attack her indirectly and take her possessions away by raising taxes! But the final straw came when Alex Fontaine came riding for sanctuary at Aunt Pitty's house. The Yankees could even change the law in favor of themselves. This sealed a nameless, incomprehensible fear and repulsion in Scarlett for the Yankees. To her, they were all powerful and extremely dangerous." Rhett breathed heavily. "And that was why she befriended them-"

A short, scornful laugh came from the throat of Mrs. Merriweather and Rhett turned to her gravely. "It may seem humorous but it is true. Scarlett did not like the Yankees but she had to befriend them so that she would be safe from their foul play. But as the years have gone by, the South had stood firm like buckwheat. We may bend with the wind but we always come right back up! And that is why, no Yankee will ever step into this house ever again. Scarlett and I are closing that unpleasant chapter forever. The worst days are over and good times must come- even to this house. And so, I wish Scarlett, health and happiness-"

Scarlett did not hear the toast being made. She did not remember raising her glass nor the taste of the wine as it glided down her parched throat. At the first opportunity, she fled to the stairs and to her room above, shaking with shame. "I'll think about it tomorrow" she tried to tell herself, clutching a handkerchief to her throbbing head but her mind kept wandering back to every teasing detail. Rhett had humiliated her, ruined her. Now she was the laughing stock in Atlanta! Everyone would remind her of saving the sow or being afraid of the Yankees- Scarlett shuddered visibly. As much as she tried to force herself to forget everything, she could not. Angry tears blurred her vision when she heard the door open softly and Rhett step into the light.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"Your reception isn't over, Mrs. Butler-" drawled Rhett, smoothly. "The guests are wondering where you rushed off to so suddenly-"

Scarlett trembled with livid rage. Her lips curled and her jawline stuck out stoutly like Gerald in one of his blackest moods. "Do you think I dare show my face to all my family and friends when you've insulted me in the vilest way possible. I was a fool to have trusted you with my memories of poverty and suffering after the war. If you had a speck of honor or decency left in you, you would have kept that knowledge a secret. You cad! You low-down, conceited, black-hearted varmint! After everything I did for you, cared for you.. you come back here and make me out to be a silly little fool!" Scarlett's hands enclosed around a glass decanter and she threw it at Rhett's silhouette with all her might. He ducked swiftly and it crashed against the wall.

Scarlett's blood turned to ice when she fancied she heard a quiet chuckle. He was laughing at her! That awful, mocking laugh that she feared and despised so well. His superior attitude challenged her spirit to crush him.

With a choking cry, she ran across the room half-blind with fury and reached up to claw Rhett's face. Her nails grazed his cheek when his own hands gripped her wrists in a vice-like grip. "I despise you-" cried Scarlett, her mind running feverishly to think of something crushing to say. "I thought Bonnie's death would have taught you some humility but you are just as vain and selfish as ever! I'm glad she didn't live long enough to-"

 **"Shut your stupid mouth before I slap you-"** Rhett twisted her wrists a little and she winced in pain. When he let her go, she fell on the sofa nearby in a heap, her head on the sofa arm and her shoulders shaking with fury. For a moment, nothing could be heard save her heaving breaths and Rhett's own hard breathing.

"Do you think I care what you think of me after every damn thing we've ever been through?!" seethed Rhett in a low rage. "When I left this monstrosity of a house, I said I'd come back to keep the gossip down. I know that it would be a matter of time before you took it into your head to play the part of a "Great Lady", a poor imitation of your mother's character and you would sit around all day, playing whist with your Yankee friends and sipping brandy when you were alone. Did you think I was going to stand by and watch you bring Madame Bart and your other worthless friends and play your charade? If you are going to keep up a farce, then I suggest you try it with our Southern families. That way, your children would mingle with the best people and have a chance at making genuine friends. Don't you realize, you spiteful little cat that I've pronounced a finality with my speech that there would be no more Yankees in this house and we were standing by our decision together, as newly reconciled husband and wife?. If that doesn't end all gossip, I don't know-"

"Damn gossip! Damn you-" cried Scarlett, vehemently. **"I never want to see your face again!".** She rose up and walked to the door. "I'm going home to Tara and when I return, I hope you would have left this house forever!"

* * *

Scarlett composed herself before she went downstairs. She self-consciously nodded to her friends, wishing heartily that she were invisible. Rosemary and Mrs. Butler were talking together and Jeff gazed at her through soulful eyes. Will and Suellen tried to get her attention but she hastily walked past them into the gardens outside. Here, in the darkness, she could weep once again at the unwarranted cruelty and humiliation she had suffered in Rhett's hands. Her rage did not allow her to think clearly. To her, it seemed as if Rhett had played the role of an honorable gentleman- albeit a hypocritical role. Rhett wasn't an honorable gentleman, let alone a gentleman. When she remembered him, standing with the champagne glass in his hand, looking so calm and collected- How dare he act so sure of himself when he had such a lurid past, too vile to speak of- brothels, saloons, duels, drunkenness to his name- Just who did he think he was? Perhaps he had made the mistake of assuming that Scarlett was so much in love with that he could get away with anything slanderous about her.

"I'll put him in his place" vowed Scarlett, her eyebrows rushing together in a vengeful frown.

She heard a soft footfall behind her and whirled around, half-expecting Rhett to stand there with sarcasm on his face. But instead, it was Jeff. He

"Oh, Scarlett, how upset you look! Rhett had no right to say such ridiculous things about-" began Jeff, in a mixture of awe and sympathy.

Scarlett's green eyes instantly narrowed and she stumbled a few steps towards Jeff. "Oh Jeff, Rhett has been so hateful. You saw the way I adored him in Charleston and now he had repaid me for my kindness with vile slander-"

"Don't cry, Scarlett. I wish I could do something to make you smile again."

"There is nothing you could do. Rhett has always been unkind to me. And after all the trips I made with him to see the Calhouns and the Vales. Oh, if only they knew the kind of man Rhett really was! But I daren't tell them. It is a hideous secret!"

"Tell me, darling" said Jeff, quietly slipping a protective arm around Scarlett's shoulders. Scarlett felt a wave a guilt when she saw the look of passionate devotion in Jeff's eyes but instead of dissuading him, she ignored him since more than anything, she wanted someone - anyone to soothe her wounded ego.

"Why, Rhett-" Scarlett faltered, with expert feminine nervousness in divulging some terrible secret." He.. he has a ward in New Orleans. A little boy, who he is supporting and no one knows who the mother is- Would a gentleman engage in such conniving deceit , Jeff? I could have easily exposed Rhett's duplicity. But instead I kept it in my heart. But instead of being grateful to me, Rhett ignores me and insults me all the time-"

Jeff's eyes widened with sudden pleasure at this definitive tarnish against Rhett's name. A look of longing came into his eyes as he saw Scarlett's moistened cheeks and quivering red lips. She seemed so vulnerable, so utterly feminine and weak- His arm slipped further down around Scarlett's waist and suddenly he leaned in and with almost sacred reverence, placed a gentle kiss on Scarlett's cheek.

 **"Jeff, you mustn't-"** cried Scarlett, stepping back in alarm and dismay. An embrace was all right but a kiss was too much. She gazed anxiously towards the windows and saw Rosemary gazing at them from behind the curtains. " **Oh, you fool! Get away from me!** " snapped Scarlett, dropping her charm for a frustrated moment. She shook away Jeff's hands. "Have you no shame for kissing a woman just a week after your own wedding? I wish you men had more sense-"

She pushed past him, thinking of only her own heightened woes. She did not notice the hurt on Jeff's face. She did not see that hurt transform to hard bitterness. Jeff was a vain man. While he never fancied himself as very bright or handsome, for the last few months, Scarlett Butler had made him feel as if he were the finest breed of man there ever was. She had fanned his ego with passion and now with the same passion, she had bruised it mercilessly. He looked up and saw Rosemary staring at him in tears. Taking a deep breath, he swore inwardly that he would get back at Scarlett for his foolish lapse of morality. He would also get back at Rhett Butler by taking the news of his ward right up to the waiting ears of Katherine Vale.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Scarlett brooded about the newly white washed plantation house of Tara for weeks on end. She was angry and defensive most of the time, losing her volatile temper for the faintest, sometimes even imaginary hurts. Suellen kept well out of Scarlett's way. Wade and Ella followed suit. When Scarlett realized that they were avoiding her, she grew even more frustrated. Every day she relived the grueling memory of her cherished reception turned into a humiliating disaster by Rhett Butler. During teasing moments like this, she snapped at the faintest provocation and embarked on an angry tirade ending in sobbing in her room upstairs.

Then one afternoon, Will Benteen decided to talk to Scarlett.

* * *

"Now listen Scarlett, I don't have any business meddling in your affairs-" he began, scratching his pinkish blond hair and easing himself into a chair beside her writing desk. "But I've seen you come to Tara several times and this is the first time I've seen you so upset and know the exact reason why-"

"I don't wish to talk about it" cut in Scarlett, rudely.

"Let me just say one thing before you start ruffling your feathers-" answered Will, calmly. "That Rhett fellow- he really loves you-"

"What?"

"He sure does. And I'm surprised you don't see it. I didn't like the fellow very much before. Rhett was always too sarcastic and too clever for his own good and marrying him seemed to bring you no end of trouble- But when I saw him at your party, I knew that he'd loved you all along-"

"Oh..I-" Scarlett searched for words. Finally she sighed. "I only wish it were true. But after everything he said-"

"Listen Scarlett, you can call us men pig-headed if you like. But we have a strange way about us. When we pick a woman we want to love, we list all her faults. Its not that we want to put her down but because we want to feel needed, to feel that we are the ones who can manage those faults- That's how we decide who to love-"

"Well, what if the woman did this as well?"

"Trust me, Scarlett- if a woman I loved picked out my faults, I'd be only flattered that I had got her attention-" grinned Will Benteen. His face grew serious. "You remember when I spoke at your father's funeral. Suellen had nearly succeeded in making him take the Iron Clad oath and when your father died, this entire County was going to shut her out. Well, when I stepped up and spoke, I felt as if I was rescuing Suellen from real trouble. And I knew she needed me. She could see that only I could love her-"

"But you loved Careen-"

"Not after that day-"

Scarlett heaved in surprise.

"So when Rhett exposed your faults, he is preparing to take care of you."

"I could never believe that!"

"Whether you believe it or not, go back to Atlanta. You're like a wounded bull in here and we're not so sure we like it-"

Scarlett smiled faintly at this.

* * *

A week later, Scarlett was back in Atlanta. She was stepping out of her coach at the station, patting her new bonnet into place when she heard a voice calling her.

"Scarlett, what a surprise to run into you. We thought you were still at Peachtree-"

Scarlett turned in surprise and saw Maybelle Merriweather Picard and her husband Rene smiling at her.

"I was just returning from Tara-"

"And how is everyone there?" inquired Maybelle, brightly. Her son was already playing a game of chase with Wade.

"Everybody is fine." replied Scarlett, surprised that she was running out of words to speak. She never expected to run into anyone at the Atlanta station.

"Scarlett, we are having a small women's gathering at our house next Sunday. I would be glad if you could come-" said Maybelle eagerly.

Scarlett promised her that she would and felt mildly flattered that Maybelle should seek her out this way.

Maybelle's request continued to give some pleasure as Scarlett thought over it again and again as she rode in her coach to her Peachtree mansion. She alighted at the driveway and found Rhett waiting for her at the topmost step of the stairwell. He faintly smiled at her and she pushed past him in cold defiance. She wasn't going to forgive him easily for publicly humiliating her.


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you for the reviews! I am having a nice time writing this story and I hope you have a nice time reading it!**

* * *

 **Chapter 32**

Scarlett maintained a cold front to Rhett, disinclining to even acknowledge his inquires after the health of the Benteens. She reminded herself that she was only there at Peachtree mansion because Will suggested she should return and that she wouldn't talk to Rhett until she received a decent apology from him. Scarlett felt, oddly enough, threatened by his brazen disclosure of her most embarrassing secrets. "If he should do it again-" She shuddered inwardly and as her eyes gazed through the entrance to the dining hall, she remembered the reception scene once again. Her lips trembled as shame and self-loathing washed over her anew. Depositing Wade and Ella in Mammy's care, she went quickly to her bedroom and opened her closet. She took out her jewelry boxes. Somehow looking at the horde of flashy, expensive fineries, she was able to momentarily forget the cruel, humiliating portrait that Rhett had painted of her.

* * *

Wade, changed to fresh linen and ran from room to room in search of Rhett. He finally found him outside the house. "Uncle Rhett" he called, breathlessly.

Rhett turned to him with a broad smile. "What is it, Wade? Did you enjoy your trip down to Clayton County?"

"Yes, I did" answered Wade, his voice high and excited. "But Mother was as mad as a hornet-"

Rhett laughed softly."What do you want, Wade?"

"Uncle Rhett, I heard you tell everyone that Mother was afraid of the Yankees" Wade swallowed and looked expectantly. "Was that really true? I mean, was she really afraid of them?"

The corner of Rhett's mouth went down in amusement. "It is true. She told me so herself." His black eyes danced in merriment as he looked directly at Wade. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Me?" Wade flushed and mumbled. But clearly he was pleased that Rhett had read his thoughts. He shrugged and kicked at a pebble on the driveway.

"Look Wade, you must stop being afraid of your Mother. If she yells at you, don't back down. " Rhett laid a heavy hand on Wade's shoulders and nudged him gently. "Now go ahead and do whatever you thought you wanted to do-"

"Thanks, Uncle Rhett!"

Wade bolted quickly back to the house.

* * *

There was a soft knock on Scarlett's bedroom door. "Yes?" she called, from within the depth of the feather pillows she had piled to soothe her aching head. The door opened and Wade peeped inside.

"Oh Wade, its you-" said Scarlett, straightening up on her bed. "Tell Mammy to look though Ella's suitcase for her torn frock and to please mend it. I think it must be folded underneath all her other clothes. I would have said so myself only I was so tired and I have a splitting headache-"

"Mother I have something to say to you-" began Wade, summoning up the little courage he had.

"Can't it wait? I simply couldn't listen to anything. I fell as if I am half-dying with fatigue. Do tell Mammy, there's a dear- And close the door softly behind you-"

 **"I won't, Mother!"**

"Why, Wade! What's the matter?" Scarlett sat up at once, surprised by the firmness in her son's voice.

"Mother" began Wade, solemnly. "You need never be afraid of the Yankees again. From now on, I will protect you-"

"Afraid of-" Scarlett struggled with her fiery temper. She was torn between burning rage to tell Wade to "hush up" and be more respectful and the strange warmth of feeling to know that her son cared enough to want to protect her. Finally she smirked.

"Protect me, Wade? And how are you going to do that? I suppose all that practice with your Grandpa's Mexican rebel sword has got you thinking that you can beat the Yankees-"

Wade looked puzzled. "No Mother. What I meant was, I am going to study law real well and if those thieving Yankees should ever come to steal our land away, I'll fight them in court-"

Scarlett's eyed instantly brimmed with tears at this refreshing seriousness and common sense in Wade's words. "Oh Wade, that is so sweet-" She put out her hand and grasped Wade's in her's. He beamed with happiness.

"You are going to make a fine lawyer, Wade Hampton. You are going to make your Mother very proud-"


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

A week later, Scarlett cautiously ventured out to Aunt Pitty's house. She wanted to know what the people of Atlanta were saying about her and the best way to find out was to wheedle Pittypat for some refreshing gossip. But the evening turned out to be notoriously dull. Pittypat had interesting news but none of it was about Scarlett. She was so vague and unhelpful on the subject that Scarlett was tempted to think that her Aunt was purposely holding out important information on her. Scarlett sighed inwardly and prepared to set off on another tack when the front door opened and India walked inside.

India looked more like a spinster now than ever. Her hair was combed away from her face giving her already narrow face, a narrower look. She wore a severe black gown over a very old-fashioned hoop skirt and a bonnet which was set in an unflattering angle. She looked grave as she handed her gloves and purse to the servant. But when her eyes fell on Scarlett, her brow cleared quickly and her face relaxed.

"Scarlett, how have you been? Aunt Pitty, Ashley and I were planning to call but Rhett had sent note that you and the children had gone to Tara-" India sat down beside Scarlett and looked at her in strange eagerness. Scarlett felt mildly uneasy.

"I had bought some presents for Suellen's children and I wanted to drop them off myself-"

"And how are the children?" inquired India, sincerely and seriously.

"They are doing very well. Susie is turning five and her face is spotted with freckles for staying too long in the sun and Suellen's little boy hasn't been named yet."

"Oh that's good."

There was a pause. Aunt Pitty had gone to the kitchen to advise Cookie about dinner and the two ladies found themselves quite alone.

"Scarlett-" said India, suddenly putting out her arms and clasping Scarlett's hands. "I have something to show you. Would you come upstairs to my room?" India gazed at the door. "I am afraid I don't want to upset Aunt Pitty. She gets easily upset and it gets on my nerves!"

* * *

India slid her hands underneath some neat sheets of paper and pulled out a sealed envelope. The seal had been broken and the paper was yellow with age. She brought the sheet to Scarlett and sat down beside her.

Scarlett began to read,

 _"My dearest India.."_

Scarlett's heart skipped a beat for it was Stuart's shabby handwriting. It was Stuart's letter to India during the war. Her eyes swiftly raced across the lines.

 _".. the horse carrying the guns, good ol' Thunder, ran right across the battlefield and made it to our bunker with a shot through his leg and a shot through his right eye-"_

Scarlett read further,

 _"Our days during the furlough were the best. Remember the night on the porch at Twelve Oaks.. You were saying some Shaksper poems- Something about calling a rose by any other name and it would still smell mighty fine- I've been thinking about that a lot. India, you are that rose. We may not be alike and you may not look ruddy and pretty like other girls but you are still a mighty fine lady. You've got a gentleness in you. You could shame me to my best behavior, madam and there aren't many girls who can do that. I don't care what Brent says. He's too occupied with Scarlett's sister Careen to be bothered about us anymore. And I just want to say that, if you'll have me, I'd make you a very happy woman- Right after we are married, I'll-"_

Scarlett's hands shook and she couldn't go on. "Oh India-" she said and India took the paper from her and folded it up carefully.

"We would have married-" India's voice carried a tremor. "-if he had survived the war-" She wrung her hands stiffly. "But now he's only a memory and I.. I am growing bitter everyday-" India gazed directly at Scarlett. "Scarlett, I want to say that I am sorry- for every unkind accusation I made. When Stuart died, I thought, if only I had been more lively and vivacious like Scarlett O Hara, I could have married Stuart much sooner- Instead I hung around, proud and silent- I wish now that I hadn't been so foolish- Will you forgive me?"

Scarlett's face flushed with guilt. She also felt different. A few years ago and she would have gazed at India with contempt. She would have lauded over India for attracting Stuart and winning the rivalry. But after tasting the bitter longing of love, she could now understand India.

"India, during the barbeque, when Stuart threatened to fight it out with Rhett Butler, you could calm him down with just a look. When I saw that, I knew that you loved him. And.. Stuart knew it too. Or else he wouldn't have calmed down."

Tears silently ran down India's cheeks. She quickly wiped them with her kerchief. "Melanie always told me that you were just a child and that I shouldn't accuse you- And now Captain Butler says the same. Scarlett, do forgive me-"

Scarlett could only nod. She had never seen India so moved before. She tried to raise a smile. "Stuart spelt Shakespeare very poorly-"

"I know-" replied India, with a hint of a smile. "I know-"


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

As Scarlett descended the stairs with India, she slipped her arm around the latter's waist. India responded with the same. Scarlett was puzzled by her own gesture which came rather naturally after so many years. She felt just then within the deepest recesses of her heart, the gentle promptings of her Mother, reminding her of her childhood lessons on being a proper Southern lady. _"Put your arm around her waist and kiss her on the cheek, Scarlett. That's how you show her that she is your friend. And you can compliment her on her dress, her charming manners and tease her gently about her beaus. But you must never tell exactly what you think, unless she speaks the same way to you..."_ She had heeded her Mother's instructions with patient longsuffering then. But now, she felt strangely different. It didn't seem so tiresome now. In fact, it felt rather nice.

Just then, a loud boom sounded and the house itself seemed to shake on its foundations. Aunt Pitty instantly swooned onto the nearest couch and the servant ran to fetch her smelling salts and swoon bottle. Scarlett started in violent fear and raised both her hands to her ears. "What is it? What is that terrible sound?!"

Another boom sounded immediately.

"Its begun" said India, rushing to the window. "We only read it just the other day. The governor has decided to annex the woods and vacant areas around Atlanta and build wards. He wants to extend the city boundaries. Atlanta is no longer going to be the city built around the railroad tracks-"

"But the noise?"

"They are blasting down the trees beyond Peachtree street, Scarlett. Our house stands at the edge of the woods so you feel the impact of the explosions. Soon there will be new streets and houses there-"

Scarlett screwed her eyes trying to get a good look but all she could see was a spire of smoke and a few people riding carts down the street. Then her eyes lowered their gaze and she caught Mrs. Elsing, who had just alighted from a coach, looking up at her from the gate. Mrs. Elsing had come to pay Pittypat a visit and as soon as she saw Scarlett, her mouth was set in a grim, disapproving line. Behind her,Fanny Elsing alighted, dressed in a severe black mourning gown with only a locket containing Tommy Welburn's hair around her pale neck. Fanny saw Scarlett but unlike her Mother, she smiled softly.

* * *

Scarlett carried a lamp and carefully folded the tapering ends of her wrap in her other hand so that she didn't trip as she went up the spiraling stairwell. Soon, she was standing in the cool night air on the rooftop of her mansion. She went to the parapet edge and peered in dismay at the blasting going on in the distance. From the great height, she could clearly pick out twenty to thirty makeshift houses and families sitting around the fire near the blasting site. Several of the trees were only smoking stumps now and the bushes along the creek had been burned. With a sigh, Scarlett remembered all the picnics she had there and all the beaus who had adored her and sat for hours at her feet. Now there would be no more pines to sit and laugh under, no meadows to laze around and no creek to go fishing.

She cast her mind back to the conversation she had had with Fanny Elsing.

 _"Don't tell my Mother, but I do wish I could get out of my mourning as fast as you did, Scarlett." said Fanny, in subdued tones. "It's horrible of me to think this way but.. I must confess, I didn't really love Tommy. I was quite fond of him- It's terrible having to go through all the motions of widowhood when I don't feel-"_

 _Fanny's eyes searched for some form of sympathy in Scarlett and found it._

 _"But surely you could wear a sweet lilac tarlatan gown Why, it's been so many years, I'm sure nobody would say anything. I saw one at the window of a dress shop near the station. Its very subdued and rather pretty. You could start with a simple bonnet and slowly change the gown as well-"_

 _"Mother seems to have forgotten that I want to look myself again. She keeps dyeing the materials we buy. Oh but, I knew you would understand! Times are changing and I find I simply cannot be as patient as before. I'd rather mourn one full year for Tommy and attend social gatherings the very next year. I don't want to be buried alive!"_

Scarlett smirked as she stood on the rooftop. It was ironic that while the dowagers of Atlanta were still ostracizing her, their daughters- her own circle of friends were bent on being more forgiving and amiable.

Suddenly she sighed again, this time audibly.

"This is only the beginning, Scarlett" came the resonant, drawling voice of Rhett from the shadows just behind her. Scarlett started and turned around, the wind causing her the folds of her wrap to flap wildly. Rhett was stretched out on the low parapet wall, at a higher elevation, quite hidden in the shadows, his eyes lazily appraising her in narrow slits. His hands were folded behind his head and for once he wasn't smoking his cigar. "I went around Atlanta today and saw the same blasting sites set up in atleast five to six different places around Atlanta-"

"Who are all those families?" she asked, in cold civility. She wished she had never come to the rooftop. "They..they can't be black-"

"No. They are immigrants come to help with the annexing. You should like to meet them - They are Irish!"

"Oh!"

"I promised myself that I wouldn't come back to this city. Atlanta is too raw for me.. too new-"

"It's only a few acres-"

"No. In a few years, I'm pretty sure that agriculture is going to take a huge step back and make room for industries - retail stores, goods and services-"

"You mean trade?"

"No, I mean industry- Industrialization, as they call it, up north. All the other countries are doing it- Some of the lovely materials I bought for you from Paris and England weren't made by human hands, my dear. They were made by machines. That is where the world is headed to these days. A machine for everything - to build guns, any kind of weapon for that matter, cleaning cotton and drawing the threads, dyeing and drying - textile industry will probably suit our part of the land-"

"I don't see how that changes everything."

"Yes, I know you don't and you never will.. until one day, that workable you use to sit around and knit and sew with your friends will finally disappear. You needn't wind yarn, someone will do it for you and sell it to you- There will be stores to wash your clothes, mend your clothes, stitch your clothes- And with all the new people coming in and the free blacks, economy is bound to change- People will not be able to afford being genteel and bear the changes anymore- except for a mere handful-"

"I am going inside." said Scarlett, abruptly signaling the conversation to an end. She went to the stairs without waiting to hear a reply. She couldn't bear to hear Rhett's voice going on in the darkness in such a gloomy fashion. She had heard Ashley talk the same way and it was depressing enough. Now, to hear Rhett talk to same too! It was too much! She remembered Rhett's booming laughter, the merry twinkle in his coal-black eyes- She missed that part of him that was so mischievous and devilishly charming. And she knew she could bring him back to that state. She knew she could somehow light that passion in him, to bring out the old Rhett. It tore her inside that he was there on the roof, alone and hopeless.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Even as she walked up the small path to the Merriweather's cramped and tumbling house, only a little better than those makeshift houses of the immigrant workmen, she could hear the bellow of Mrs. Merriweather in fierce argument with her headstrong daughter.

"As long as I live, I shall never welcome Scarlett Butler into this house. After everything she did, I thought you would show more propriety to-"

"Do be reasonable, Mother." entreated the soft, firm voice of Maybelle. "You told me that Captain Butler had declared that Scarlett was only entertaining the Yankee families because she was afraid of them and that there will never be a Yankee in Peachtree house again. Since Captain Butler has gone out of his way to make such strong statements about his own wife, the only decent thing to do is to invite her back to our families and give her another chance- I've known Scarlett and she was always huge flirt and there were jealousies and silliness all around but nothing more. And perhaps after the war, she did turn malicious but times have changed now, Mother. Now, we are all married and settled and we can afford to be gracious once again-"

"Mr. Merriweather, I appeal to you-"

"Madam, I do not know what to say." returned the gentleman. "But I have come to respect Captain Butler as you do and if he validates his wife's misdeeds so decidedly then I see no harm in including Scarlett in our circles once again. They have both lost a child and-"

Scarlett checked back angry tears and stamped her foot at being so humiliatingly discussed by the family. And just as she turned to leave, the door swung open and Raoul rushed out in full speed. Behind him ran Rene Picard and just as soon as he saw Scarlett, he stopped and made a bow. "Forgive my Raoul for startling you, Scarlett. But he will not say his lessons and I am at my wit's end how to make him do so-"

Scarlett managed a tight smile but the very idea of a man running after his son to listen to his lessons seemed contemptible to her and she still thought Raoul looked like an ape. Rene poked his head into the house and Maybelle rushed out at once.

"Scarlett, welcome! We are so glad to see you-"

She kissed Scarlett and put her arm around her waist and drew her to the little parlor where Mrs. Merriweather was seated as stoutly as a large bulldog. Before she could get past the formal greeting, the other ladies arrived and soon the silence of the parlor was broken by the rhythmic clacking of palmetto fans.

* * *

No one spoke very much to Scarlett beyond courteous inquires into the health of her husband and children. But the conversations were generally cheerful and light-hearted. Scarlett saw familiar faces around her, Atlanta belles who were now married and had at least two children or carrying a second child. And as she heard them talking, her vision unclouded from dreams of securing Ashley, she now saw the Southern society for what it was. Everyone behaved the same way and more or less thought the same things. They mingled with one another within the rigid social norms, delivering their displeasures in delicate snubs now and then. But they largely overlooked the flaws in people's character. They brushed past them and turned a blind eye unless the faults were too glaring to be ignored. It was a society built on a fragile base but kind and gentle nonetheless. A shadow show-

Scarlett started as she remembered these words from Ashley Wlkes.

"Yes, this life was nothing more than a shadow show. These people would overlook my faults and be kind to me while ignoring the very essence of who I am. No wonder Ashley and Melly wanted to forget those days when we picked cotton and used convicts to operate the mills- They hate life becoming too real for them- But Rhett hated this. He hated having to live under hyprocrisies and did his best to expose the shadow show.. to prick the pretty illusions-"

Scarlett frowned. "But now he wants to go back. He thinks that is better than facing realities-" Her eyes widened as she began to realize the exact reality that Rhett wanted to escape.

* * *

Before she could contemplate on her sudden discovery, Raoul's voice rose loud and long in an incoherent bawl and the door flung open to reveal the boy in the midst of a full-blown tantrum. The walls of the house were so thin that they couldn't hide the workings of the Merriweather house. Maybelle rushed to her son's side and Rene was angrily pointing at a notebook. Scarlett leaned forward and on the small table, she saw apples and candy arranged in such a way as to teach ordinary arithmetic tables.

"I can't understand it, Papa.. I can't understand it at all!" yelled Raoul, exasperated.

While the other ladies hid their smiles behind their fans and looked on in uneasy amusement, Scarlett found herself rising to her feet. "This way you certainly won't" said Scarlett, partly annoyed by the boy's whining tone. "Now Raoul, get rid of the apples and candies. Arithmetic is just working with numbers that's all. You memorize the rules and follow them the best you can-"

Within the next few minutes, Scarlett had worked out a few problems and Raoul, despite himself leaned over her shoulder in pure curiosity.

"My my, Scarlett-" laughed Maybelle, in surprise and embarrassment. "I did hear that you had a talent for doing arithmetic in your head!"

"Yes, it..." Scarlett stared at Maybelle and then decided to through with what she thought of saying. "It did come very handy when I was running the store-"

The fans stopped in mid-swish.

"Mathematics was the only thing I was ever really good at in school" continued Scarlett, sensing the growing hostility of the gathering. She turned to the boy once again. "If you learn it well, you can help your father very much, Raoul. Doing problems is very interesting-"

"I will try, Aunt Scarlett" replied Raoul, still gazing at the neatly solved problems on paper.

Maybelle looked flustered and Rene was awkwardly gazing at the papers himself. Then suddenly Scarlett recalled the exact words she was supposed to say,

"Of course, I would rather manage the household and do some embroidery in my spare time. And the counter boys at the store are doing such a good job. They seem to work out the calculations just fine. Men naturally seem to have a skill at doing maths, don't they? I don't worry my poor head on-"

"Yes, it does help when you are doing complicated knitting work-" said one lady to another.

Maybelle smiled at this and nudged Raoul back into his room. Scarlett went back to her seat in the circle. She had, for the first time, attempted to smooth the jarring edges around her true nature. The war had revealed the truth that Scarlett O Hara was an intelligent woman with an ability to manage business and accounts in a level of skill that could beat any Southern gentleman. She must find other ways to make everyone find her acceptable instead of forever hiding her personality and appearing brainless and frail.

When Scarlett set out to do something, she rarely held back herself. With true gaiety, she lavished compliments on the other ladies, complimented Rene once again on marvelously handling his son and taking the time to listen to his lessons, on Raoul's increasing intelligence and the prospect of a happy future in college- She invited them all to her manor the very next week. And the gathering, soothed by her gracious words, consented to come.

* * *

Rhett walked down the stairs, hearing the unmistakable sounds of guests moving about the large parlor room downstairs. His hands behind his back, he walked towards the gentle commotion and found several of the Southern women seated on the large sofa sets, sipping coffee and looking through Bonnie Butler's pictures. For a moment he looked entirely surprised and then his eyes scanned the room for Scarlett. She was standing by a large painting of Bonnie, the one where she was seated on Mr. Butler in her new riding habit. She was pointing something and explaining to her friend. Rhett walked inside and instantly the ladies flushed and greeted him warmly. He was not bitter now. He did not ignore them. Instead, he was grateful and happy to see familiar faces, gentle faces gazing with honest interest at his daughter's pictures. He sat down on one of the sofas and began to talk about Bonnie in his slow Charlestonian drawl.

Scarlett whirled around at the sound and saw the black head, bending over some albums. A shadow crossed her face. She still continued to ignore Rhett.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Scarlett did not realize how much Bonnie's death had affected her, made her afraid and lonely until she found solace in the words of the sympathetic ladies at her gathering. They all remembered Bonnie and had different stories to tell - they spoke of her beauty - the glossy curls framing a rose cheeked, blue-eyed little princess, her bravery, her love for her father- Yes, almost every one spoke of how she sat on the front of the saddle with her father and proudly paraded down the streets of Atlanta. Scarlett smiled at these memories and a few tears slipped down her cheeks. She took comfort in the warm embraces, the kind words which were like soothing balm to her aching heart. While the Yankee ladies tried to distract her, these women spoke kindly, almost patriotically about little Bonnie since she was named after the Bonnie Blue Flag. She had missed this feminine companionship for so many years! What a blessing it was to vent out her feelings at last amidst kind and caring people - her people, her own folks who knew her roots, her struggles, her victories-

But on the other side, she detested having to act like a ninny at times, disguising her true thoughts with politely expressed sentiments and flattery. She had to pretend that the stores and the mills were a burden to her and how much she detested the changing times. But Scarlett knew she had to compromise if she were to receive any support or friendship. So, she swallowed her temper and continued to be interested and involved in social gatherings. But the more she heard of the changing times, the more interested she became. Now, Scarlett was starting to see a glimmering ray of hope for herself. Times were changing! Changing at last in her favor!

Somehow the women were expected now to be more frugal with their money. No longer could they afford to lend and borrow without the intention of repaying their debt. With the rise in public schools, more intelligence was expected from the young mothers to help their children with advanced lessons. These women naturally sought out Scarlett for support. Soothed by her flattery, they let down their defenses and admired her outright for her shrewd, Irish mind. But these were only the women in Scarlett's own age circle. The old cats still sneered and gossiped about her from afar. But try as they might, they could no longer influence their daughters who began to think for themselves and ways to cope with the changing world.

So, Scarlett began to hold more gatherings in her mansion. She attended more parties, gatherings, meetings and began to enjoy the attention. She had never been complimented for her intelligence before. But now with a little flattering compliments and fake timidity, even the husbands began to appreciate her. She was the favorite Aunt of Beau and his friends. They walked up more freely to Peachtree house to do their lessons and Scarlett took some pleasure in guiding them. Wade beamed with happiness at the sight of his friends and his voice could be heard loudly across the hallways of the great house. Something that had never happened before!. Ella was called more often to little girl's parties.

A month went by and Scarlett grew busier day by day.

* * *

"Rhett, I need more money." said Scarlett, as she walked into the study one evening. Her tone was matter-of-factly and she had rehearsed her conversation in her head to keep it as short and to the point as possible.

"Certainly" replied Rhett, rising from his chair with an air of deference. His eyes were kind and his manner was respectful.

But Scarlett still felt wary.

Rhett took out his wallet and carelessly pulled out a wad of bills. "Will this do?" he asked.

Scarlett counted the notes and nodded. She counted once again as she went to her desk to lock away the money in her drawer. As she walked, she felt Rhett's eyes on her. She stopped counting and looked back and sure enough, he was seated at the sofa, watching her. She ignored him and resumed her counting. When she placed the money safety inside, she walked to the window and again she felt those dark eyes gazing at her.

Scarlett felt thrilled and nervous. A part of her was wildly excited that he was watching her every move as he once did so many years ago and the other part of her told her not to be a fool and reminded her of the many times he had cruelly rebuffed her.

She was about to leave the room and just as she crossed Rhett's sofa, he put out his hand and caught the tips of her fingers. Scarlett looked at him coldly.

"I want to say that I am pleased that you are bringing quality folks into this house, Scarlett-"he began, an appreciative smile on his face.

"Let go of my hand." cut in Scarlett, sharply. "I don't ever want to speak to you without first hearing an apology!"


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

As invigorating as it was to feel wanted and loved by others once again, a feeling of fear arose as well. Everyday Scarlett mentally rehearsed the scene where Rhett would apologize for his heartless, shameless act and she would accuse him of every thoughtless deed he ever did to her, clearly and correctly and finally confess that she still loved him despite his conceited, despicable nature. She rehearsed it long and hard, each time strengthening her defenses and triumphing in her arguments.

But reality slowly began to sink in.

While Rhett watched her with interest and behaved much more like a gentleman around her, the long expected apology never came. Instead, despite herself. she was rejecting every effort on his part to be kind and caring towards her. When he offered to help her arrange a party, she rebuffed him expertly. When he softly complimented her, she sarcastically threw back some cutting remarks. When he smiled, she frowned. She was waiting for his apology. If only he would apologize, then she can explain her defenses and finally shower her love on him. But this way, she was going farther and farther away and every time she shut him out, that awful scene when he left her after Melanie's death, came back to haunt her. She had vague memories of rushing into the room, her hair disheveled, her skirts muddied and foolishly confessing her love for him and he, tiredly explaining that he wanted none of it. And the growing despair that nothing she could say or do would convince him to stay and the last pillar of strength she had leaned on crumbled and she was left all alone in the mist-

That was when Scarlett woke up from her sleep, shaking in cold sweat and tears pouring down her face. She slept alone ever since Rhett's betrayal at her birthday reception and he slept in a room down the hall. With shaking hands, she would pour herself a glass of brandy and after drinking it, she would tip toe down the hallway and check to see if Rhett was still in his room. When she saw his bulky form under the covers, she would heave a sigh of relief and walk back to her room.

But the fear still remained.

"Perhaps it is because I am happier nowadays-" reasoned Scarlett, wondering why this dread should consume her like this. "I keep imagining the worst because I've never been so happy before-"

But as the days went by, she found herself watching for any signs of Rhett, losing his temper and planning to leave Atlanta. She checked his whereabouts every so often covertly and was very sensitive to any change in his mood.

And then it finally happened.

That dreaded moment finally came.

Scarlett was just returning from a visit to Pittypat's house when she found the mansion eerily silent. "Where are all the servants?" she wondered, her throat suddenly going dry. She flung off her gloves and bonnet in haste and half-ran to the great hall. Mammy was nowhere to be seen. Biting back a gasp, she ran to the dining room. Rhett wasn't there. She ran from the parlor and into the study. He wasn't there.

Then she heard footsteps in the upper hall. She stifled a sob and ran up the stairs. Her bounding climb shook a few curls loose on the sides of her head. Her eyes frantically searched for Rhett. Where was he?

And then she saw two suitcases - Rhett's suitcases arranged neatly outside his room.

Scarlett stood rooted to her spot, stunned.

So, he was leaving her. He had tried to be kind but she had hurt him too much and he was leaving her once again!

Tears rushed down her cheeks and Scarlett ran into the room with a strangled cry. Three faces looked up at her. Pork was packing another suitcase, Rhett was lounging in an armchair by the window and Mammy was cleaning the mantelpiece. Scarlett couldn't even see them clearly because her vision was blurred with tears.

 **"Put down that suitcase, Pork!"** she cried, as commanding as her trembling voice would permit her. **"Captain Butler isn't going anywhere!"**

She ran to Rhett and throwing her fears to the wind, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly around his waist. "I won't let you go!i'll kill you if you leave me! " she cried, loudly and incoherently, in anger and terror. Her hands seemed to claw at him and bruise him, but she did not care. She looked up, wild desperation in her eyes, like a crazy woman. "I don't know how to keep you.. I don't know how.. but by God, you will not leave me- I couldn't bear it! You are the reason I am changing.. I hate it all.. I hate you.. but I am changing,Rhett.." Scarlett's words became intelligible with emotion. "You cannot start this change and leave me!"

Scarlett sobbed loudly for she knew now that she had only made herself more contemptible in his eyes. Now, he would look at her calmly and tell her to stop pursuing him. He would hurt her and shame her. And he would reject her as he did before.

But when she finally looked up, she only saw puzzlement and tenderness on Rhett's face.

"Miss. Scarlett Ma'am"

Scarlett gazed at Pork and saw him grinning foolishly from ear to ear. "Mist. Rhett, he wasn't going anywhere- I was just following his orders and packing his old books in his trunks so that he could be rid of them. He was donating them to the library and he wanted me to pack them-"

Scarlett's breath came in gasps as she stared incredulously at the open suitcase and the books inside. Pork was gesturing to that suitcase. She heard a sharp hissing sound from the door and saw Mammy urgently beckoning for Pork to leave the room. Then suddenly the horror of everything she had said and done came rushing to her. She yelped and began to pull herself backto her feet when Rhett's arms wrapped around and he pulled her against him.

 **"LET ME GO!"** yelled Scarlett, her face reddening a thousand times over and she knew she would never get over this humiliation of having thrown herself at his feet. Oh, what she wouldn't give to have the earth part open and swallow her whole. **"Turn me loose, you conceited varmint!"**

"No" said Rhett, simply and firmly. He held her close to him while she struggled against his strength. Then finally she gave up and sobbed once more into his chest. Somehow, the sound of his heartbeat, the reassuring smells of horses, cigars and tobacco quietened her. She waited to hear that patronizing drawl- teasing her, lauding it over that he was able to turn her into a clinging vine- but that never came either.

When she looked up again, he gazed at her with so much tenderness. His hand brushed back her hair and he tightened his grip around her once again. "Scarlett, I am truly sorry for betraying your secrets at your reception. You trusted me but I exploited that trust and for that I am truly sorry. Do you forgive me, my dear?"

His tone was so genuine and so gentle that all her rehearsed arguments, dripping with scorn and superior hate, vanished from her mind. Instead she flushed and meekly mumbled, "Yes, I forgive you-"

"Look at me, Scarlett" said Rhett, raising her chin and looking deeply into her clear green eyes. "I know that I hurt you.. more than anyone ever did. But the past few months, you have taken that hurt and you have used it to turn yourself into a beautiful person. I didn't do anything. It was all you. And it is a welcoming sight to see you make the effort, darling-"

"Yes, Rhett" replied Scarlett, again searching for words and failing miserably. Her eyes fluttered down and she whispered, "Do you love me?"

"Yes" came the reply, a whisper as well. "I am starting to-"

"Oh!"

Scarlett smiled at how easily the words she had most desired to hear had been said. She relaxed in his arms at once. "You love me!"

"You've got so much life in you, Scarlett. You are vibrant, daring.. so different from all the other women I ever knew. Coarse, earthy.. seeing things for what they really were- How could I not help loving you-"

"But you hurt me so many times-"

"I only wanted you to see how different and beautiful you were. But I do ask for your forgiveness. I did lead you astray during the times when you most depended on me. If I had only realized that you were truly terrified of the Yankees, I wouldn't have left you to fend for yourself at Rough and Ready. I would have been more supportive when you came to me after your mother died and your plantation fading and you desperately needed the money- But fool that I was, I was too slow to respond to your crisis. And even after our wedlock, I hurt you many times-"

"Do you really love me now, Rhett?"

"Yes, I do, Scarlett."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Scarlett was still seated on Rhett's lap when Mammy cautiously poked her head inside and asked if the Butlers wanted some sandwiches and coffee.

"Bring them at once, Mammy." replied Rhett, cheerfully. "And a treacle tart for Miss. Scarlett, if you can manage it, to help recover from everything that's happened here-"

"Yes Sir, Mist. Rhett!" cried Mammy, her old eyes tearing up with joy. Scarlett beamed uncertainly at her and the uncertainty in those slanting green eyes itself gave Mammy a ton of hope since she always thought Scarlett was too sure of herself for her own good. "It's a pleasure, Sir!"

When Mammy left, Rhett squeezed Scarlett lightly. "There! You've made Mammy happy at last. A minute longer and she would have bawled like a baby-"

"But Rhett-" said Scarlett, looking up in delicate confusion. "I don't understand. Why do you say now that you love me? I haven't done or said anything differently. I don't understand-"

"You were returning from a gathering at your Aunt Pitty's house and when you entered the house, Miss. India and Mrs. Welburn were with you and you were in an excellent mood, chatting and laughing with them and Beau was swinging from that monstrous horse statue you have down there and Wade was whooping at the top of his voice. I heard the sounds and looked down the stairs and there you were.. happy, content, laughing as if you didn't have a care in the world and I fell in love at that moment-"

Scarlett cast her mind back and remembered. "Oh yes, I remember that day. We were laughing over Aunt Pitty - we teased her pink with Mr. Coleman who had opened a hat shop nearby. We hinted that Mr. Coleman was Pitty's mystery beau and she must buy a hat from his shop to encourage him-"Scarlett dimpled and sighed. "I really was happy, Rhett. You might think of me as ungrateful or insincere- but nowadays, I find real pleasure in acting like Gerald O'Hara's daughter than Ellen Robbilard's eldest girl- Oh, I know that I've never made much of Pa's side of the family but he wasn't just shrewd and lucky, Rhett.. he was a fine gentleman-"

"A Southern gentleman, even thought he was an Irishman-"

"Why yes!" said Scarlett, happily. "Pa was gentle, generous and a real softy. He only barked and bellowed for a show. Why if Pa saw a little kitten mewling in the cold, he'd tear up so fast and send Pork running to rescue the thing. Pa was a child in so many ways-"

Scarlett bobbed her head. "And while I think I can never rise to my Mother's expectations, I could be kind and generous like Pa. I tried already.. just a little.. and my friends seemed to like me for it tremendously-"

"And I love you for it." added Rhett. Then he asked gravely. "But Scarlett, you haven't told me if you love me- Do you, my dear?"

"Of course I do,Rhett but you've changed almost entirely- Where is that dashing smile and that spark in your black eyes that I knew so well? You've turned into such a bookish gentleman, I can hardly recognize you!"

Rhett sighed. "Bonnie's death changed everything,Scarlett. I came first to Atlanta, confident and arrogant. I wanted to defy the South as much as I could before the Cotton Kingdom crumbled- I was looking forward to the fall of the Empire. I thought I was a cut above every other man because I had survived and done damn well for a youth thrown out of his house without a shilling- But death is a great equalizer. When Bonnie died, I didn't have the strength to face it. Why, there isn't a Southern family that hasn't lost a brother, a father, an uncle, a beau and they all rallied - even Dr. Meade who lost both sons. But I nearly went mad with grief. Only then I realized my true failings. I had no emotional strength. And I didn't have you near me-"

"Oh, we should have been there for each other! Instead we fought and accused each other because we both were hurting. Bonnie was such a precious baby. I was so proud of her. She was not afraid of anything!"

"She was the way I pictured you before the war - full of life, loud, passionate, obstinate and so loveable. The war changed you - made you manipulate, lie and cheat.. the old Scarlett simply wouldn't have cared. War was too boring for her to be bothered- Do you remember?"

"Yes and Rhett- that afternoon when you left me after Melanie's death= did you know that I would change? Did you really stop loving me then?"


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Rhett took a long look at Scarlett and a gleam came into his dark eyes. "When I left you, I said that I felt only two things for you- pity and kindness- You couldn't stand them before. But you can now. You accepted the kindness of your friends and their sympathies over Bonnie's demise. You have changed."

Scarlett thought over this and looked up in surprise. "I have changed, haven't I?"

"That's because you have stopped hiding your intelligence and you have tempered your success with mutual appreciation for other people's gifts. Whether this appreciation sincere or flattery, I dare not-"

Scarlett's eyes snapped in merriment. "It will be.. soon. For now I am only pretending-"

Rhett laughed out loud and Scarlett laughed as well. "But I am improving, Rhett. Well, you were right about the Yankees being absolute mules. Our own people are much more kind and its a kindness that I need- especially after-" Here she halted unsure of how to go on.

"After Bonnie's death." concluded Rhett, simply.

"We are selfish, aren't we?" said Scarlett, laying her head on Rhett's chest and peering up at his face.

"Yes we are." , came the soft reply.

Scarlett sighed. "You know Rhett, I couldn't stand pity or kindness before because I looked at every woman as my rival. When Melly tried to be kind to me, I was contemptuous of her. I thought she was showing off. She could afford to be kind because she had Ashley to herself- That's why I ridiculed her and called her a mealy-mouthed ninny. But Melly loved me all along. And when she died, I.. I realized that I loved her so. And after all this time, India is speaking to me and I find I can't afford to lose another friend- even if she isn't as kind and caring as Melly- And Rhett-"

Scarlett sat up and gazed into the dark depths of Rhett's eyes.

"I don't think it is in me to be as kind, generous and thoughtful as Melly. I think, in a way, I shall always be selfish and unscrupulous. I'll have those urges at least. But instead of acting on them, I can try to be calm and do what's right-"

"So, you admit that we are alike!" grinned Rhett, showing his even white teeth under his closely clipped moustache.

"Yes, I am a rascal just like you" sighed Scarlett, pulling on a sad expression and then sinking into a hearty laugh.

"How much you've changed, Scarlett!" marveled Rhett. "You're contempt is almost gone. You are so astonishingly frank, its almost sweet!"

"But you, honey- are the bigger of the rascals! You were right in calling yourself a bad influence, making me forget my Mother's teachings and act in a thoroughly conspicuous way!"

"My evil deeds paid off, haven't they? I've finally got you-" Rhett breathed deeply. "When Bonnie died, she took away any strength I had left until I was forced to see myself clearly for the first time - a conceited blackguard with an overinflated idealization of his daughter's skills. If only I hadn't raised that bar-"

"Rhett, don't go on with this. If you were to blame, I was equally to blame as well. I..I was so proud of her.. we both gave in to her tantrums because we both were so enamored by her strong will and charm. We never expected she would leave us so soon-"

"But it was a grim reminder. And when I saw myself for what I was,I came down on my knees. It tore me apart. I was weak, half-mad with anger and grief at this cruel twist of fate. And I knew I could never love again for I was empty inside-as if Bonnie had robbed me of heath and cheer. Then, you came, confessing that you loved me. I speculated twice. You wouldn't change for your children, I knew that. To you, they were only nuisances. But you would change for love. And when Ashley had finally faded out of your mind and you declared that you loved me, I sought to rob you of happiness and peace of mind just as Bonnie did to me. Then your contempt might fade and you might realize your true self and love me."

Rhett played with Scarlett's hands. "But even then, I wasn't sure. When you came to Charleston,I saw a thin ray of hope. And my patience has been rewarded. When you came charging in like a bull out of a chute and said, **"Put down that suitcase, Pork! Captain Butler isn't going anywhere!"** My heart skipped a beat, hearing the strangely pleasurable note of confidence in your voice!. Rhett grinned at the pink blush that spread on Scarlett's cheeks.

"Oh, you _are_ conceited!"

"So are you!"


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

The chilly wind blew over the sloping mounds of grass which glistened with early morning dew. Over a particular mound, under the shade of a flowering magnolia tree, stood Bonnie's grave. A silver cross now gleamed on the polished headstone. Scarlett caught the gleam in her eye as she stood several yards away watching Wade lay flowers on his father's grave. She peered across the spreading miles of the graveyard, spotted with graves of white and gray. It was the day for honoring the dead. Ashley, India, Pittypat and Uncle Henry stood a mile away, bending over Melanie's grave. Then there were the Meades, the Elsings, the McLures- so many familiar faces veiled in dull shades of gray. She looked towards Bonnie's grave again and saw Rhett supervising the grounds-man as he washed and polished the grave. He was barking some orders, bending down to inspect the cleaning. On a rock nearby were baskets and baskets of fresh flowers and a box of candles. Rhett's face was black with a scowl but Scarlett knew that he was bearing the loss better now.

After a half hour, Rhett waved to Scarlett and the children and she in turn called Mammy and Pork who were standing respectfully by the carriages on the other side of the low wall. Mammy was in full black with a black veil over her head and Pork walked with his head bowed all the way. It was Rhett who demanded that they must come as well. Mammy was the one in-charge of the Butler household and she had the right to be part of the family was Rhett's firm stand. He lit a few candles and arranged them neatly at the base of the stone. Scarlett spread the flowers about, gathering the blooms in bunches and scattering the petals in the middle. When she rose up, Rhett was standing beside her and holding his hands with Ella and Wade on either side.

She was wondering if the flowers looked all right on the grave when she felt something being pushed into her hand. She looked down and saw to her surprise that Mammy had pushed Ellen's tattered prayer book into her hand.

Scarlett hesitated, looking at the faces beside her. She was not prepared to read. She had never tried. But seeing all eyes directed to the grave and all minds reliving the happier days with little Bonnie Butler, Scarlett opened the prayer book with stumbling hands. She felt awkward. But it dawned on her that she now had to take responsibility as the mistress of the Butler household and conduct prayers just like her Mother. But her Mother was so natural at doing this. Her voice was mellow and smooth. Her tone was reverent and her whole being seemed mindful and in the attitude of prayer and sacrifice. Scarlett felt queer as her fingers flipped for the right page. She had never taken the time to actually know the contents in the book. When she fumbled for a while, Rhett peeped into the pages and pressed his thumb on a paragraph - the prayer for the souls in purgatory.

"Read this passage alone and the rounds on the next page. That should be all right-"

"Yes, of course-" flushed Scarlett and began to read.

Her voice carried the endearing meekness of a child, very unlike the soothing tones of her Mother. And as she read, a queer feeling of being old and dull came over her. She did not know why.

* * *

"We must have another child together" thought Scarlett, eagerly. "A handsome little boy with Rhett's coal-black eyes- Oh, I would take care of him so nicely!" Her eyes followed Rhett's lanky form. He seemed so serious and grave now. His face looked weary and there was no spring in his step. Scarlett sighed. Would the Rhett she knew ever return? A shiver ran down her spine and try as she might, she could not escape the dreaded feeling that Rhett too might turn out like a child clinging to her skirts- just like Ashley. The thrill of securing Rhett was fast fading and in the light of dawning reality, this new Rhett was starting to disappoint her. Perhaps this was what he was really like - subdued, intellectual, quiet, orderly and uttering dull-

Scarlett hoped that he would change. He simply _had_ to...

* * *

But as the course of the day ran, the dreaded feeling grew larger and larger. Scarlett was growing bored. Why only yesterday they had sat together and declared their love for one another. They had been so happy and she had hoped that he would make love to her, send her into the hot, swirling madness that she had dreamt of so often. But instead he had suggested visiting Bonnie's grave and spent a good part of the evening and night in town, choosing the engravings for Bonnie's headstone.

Now as Scarlett rose up from her dressing table, she hugged the wrapper around her as she crawled between the sheets. Somehow she wasn't sure if she wanted to make love at all. The feeling persisted. Where was the excitement? The rush of romance that she enjoyed so well? Rhett had promised her, taunted her- and now, he was starting to appear as the bauble that lost its shine in her hands.

She smiled faintly as Rhett walked inside. Her green eyes watched him intently as he undressed and sat on the bed, shirtless and wearing only his cotton pants. He bent down to remove his socks. He looked calm as ever, his face a smooth blank. Then he leaned back and stretched under the sheets beside her.

"What are you thinking of, Scarlett?" asked Rhett, with an engaging smile.

Scarlett smiled again and in the light of the gas lamp, her eyes ran over Rhett's brown, muscular chest. Then suddenly, as if for the first time, she saw the long scar that ran across, up to his waist line. She put out her hand and touched the scar with her long finger-tips. Her fingers ran along the length of the wound.

"What is it?" asked Rhett, curious.

"Nothing, I-" As Scarlett gazed at the scar, the scene of Rhett getting a blade run through him by some desperate claim jumper in the California gold fields, rose vividly to her mind. She would see him sweating and writhing in pain and then get up and kick the knife out of the attacker's hands and overpower him. And then the very idea of a him pushed to this extent of survival without his family's wealth or support made her wake up to the depraved reality of Rhett's misadventures. And now that she loved him, somehow the wounds in his body seemed to be on her's as well.

"Rhett, this scar must have stung like crazy-" she said, drawing by his side slowly. "Poor darling, how much you have struggled to earn your money-" She lowered her face and pressed her lips on the scar.

She felt his body tighten underneath her soft lips. She kissed again, higher, as the scar widened in breadth. And once again.

When she lifted her head, she was near his shoulders and his swarthy, brown face. His bold, black eyes returned her gaze. She bent down and kissed him, her lips just below the line of his moustache. When she drew back, a quiet look of softness had come into Rhett's eyes. Of softness and of submission. Instantly her mind went to Charles, that adoring, calf-like look of innocent expectation. Of a child who has lost his way and blindly trusts his rescuer to guide him home.

Scarlett felt strange. She never expected Rhett to look at her that way - not the proud, stubborn, unreadable Rhett. Here he was, enjoying her kisses and silently waiting for more. Now, she held the upper hand. And the feeling left her oddly drained.

She had never thought past the "magical kiss".

She drew back and he smiled at her hesitation. "What's the matter?"

"Rhett, don't think this silly but I was wondering.. why do you want me to love you? Why not Melanie?"

Rhett's lip went down in one corner and he peered at her in lively amusement. "Miss. Melly was already married to Ashley Wilkes-"

"Oh, do be serious- I mean, why not someone like her? If it was love you wanted, she would have given you so much!"

Rhett shook her head. "Believe me, honey- if Miss. Melly knew what I was really like, she would recoil in horror and ostracize me from Atlanta and Charleston. But her world is small and she doesn't know much about evil- so, with her honor intact, she appreciated and approved of me, as best she could- But that isn't love-"

"But Rhett-" Scarlett looked embarrassed. "Approval is love, isn't it?"

Rhett gazed at her evenly. He slowly shook his head. "Approval is when you meet the expectations of another and the person thinks you are wonderful. Love is when you are at your worst- when people see your worst and yet care for you-"

Scarlett's eyelids fluttered down. She knew coquetry very well. She knew how to flatter men, approve everything about them and make them feel like kings. And usually she moved quickly from one beau to another. But here, she was empty. She had no idea how to love the way Rhett wanted from her. And it irritated her to admit this.

"Well, you've seen me at my worst, Rhett and you did love me-But, I- Why, I've only heard about your worst side, I've never actually seen-" With a start, she realized that she didn't know Rhett at all! She knew he danced well, dressed well, dined well, loved her and Bonnie and was involved in a lot of misadventures but she didn't know the man he really was-

This struck her as tedious and an impossible task to accomplish.

When she looked up, she saw that strange gleaming light in Rhett's eyes. There was a smile on his face with meaning she couldn't understand. She flushed hotly. "Rhett, we must have another child. A little boy with a mop of black hair and lovely black eyes-"

"Madam, before you start on that track, let me tell you something. This may seem harsh but when we had Bonnie, I remember the decision was made by me entirely and the responsibility fell on me as well. Now this time, if we are to have a child, I suggest you take the initiative. That way, you will be accountable for the child when it arrives-"

Scarlett first reddened at the implication then bristled under the open criticism. Her eyes blazed in anger. "Are you saying I wasn't responsible with Bonnie?!"

"Let me rephrase my sentence- you were to an extent responsible with Bonnie but with our next child, if God should allow it, you must show more."

"Oh but I will, Rhett! I love you and your child will be loved as well-"

"Scarlett, leave things be. Let us live in this moment. I have you in my arms now and we are happy. Don't lets spoil it with hasty dreams for the future-"

Scarlett smiled and settled in the sheets. Her head snuggled against his chest. "Rhett, if you are like me, then you too want to be kissed often, don't you?"

"Perhaps-"

"Then as long as we need each other, let's not hurt each other. Pretend as if we don't need each other."

Rhett did not reply. Instead his brown, muscular arm snaked across Scarlett's chest and he hugged her close to him.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Rhett sat on a cane chair holding a telegram in his hand and brooding over it while sipping a cup of steaming tea. The wind collected the autumn leaves in its swirling grasp and scattered them all around the wide oval balcony. Rhett's brows were knitted in a meditative frown when a slender hand fitted with a scented glove covered his eyes.

Rhett's mouth curved to a smile as the hand pressed his face backwards and deposited a tender kiss on his lips. "For the only man I love-" said Scarlett, dimpling attractively. She placed an embroidered woolen scarf around his neck and tucked it into a loose knot. "-to keep him warm during the winter." She looped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek against his. "I made it for you, Rhett. Do you like it?"

"How very thoughtful of you, my sweet-" answered Rhett, inspecting the ends of the scarf and then picking up the telegram once again.

"What's the matter,dear? I thought you would show a little more enthusiasm-"

"Scarlett, after the reception.." said Rhett, smoothly. "We had our little quarrel and you stormed out. Did you say anything to Jeff?"

Scarlett straightened up at once, withdrawing her hands when Rhett casually caught her wrist. He drew her from behind him and pulled out a chair. She sat down and gazed at him, a mixture of feigned innocence and guilt. "Why do you ask me such a question?" she asked, a little too airily. "I spoke several things to several people-"

"Aaaah, yes-" agreed Rhett, keenly observing every change of expression in her swiftly fluttering eyes. "But you were in a malicious mood, dear heart. I had hurt you and you were very bitter when you stormed out. Bitter enough to push for petty revenge-"

"I don't know what you are hinting at. I'd like to see what's in that telegram-"

Rhett pushed the piece of paper into her hands.

Scarlett read,

 _"Jackson Carver found. Mr. Heyward agitated by impending scandal. Come at once."_

 _Mrs. Butler_

"Who is Jackson Carver?"

"Scarlett, I have told you I appreciate frankness in a woman-"

"Oh allright- I..I did speak to Jeff." began Scarlett, angrily. "He was waiting for me in the gardens and he was so full of sympathy that I.. I had no choice but to unburden my heart-"

"What did you tell him?"

"I hinted that you were no gentleman when you had a secret ward in New Orleans-"

Rhett's eyes widened in vivid horror and his hand held Scarlett's wrist in a coiling iron grip that she cried out. **"You didn't- That was the one secret I told you to keep!"** He tore the telegram and flung the crockery to the ground with a sweeping movement of his arm. He put his head in his hands, his fingers tearing into his black hair. "What have you done! What have you done!"

Tears of fright sprang into Scarlett's eyes as she grabbed Rhett arms and began to plead for forgiveness. "I didn't know what I was doing Rhett. I was crazy with hurt. I wanted to bring you down - to hurt you. And the only way I knew how was-"

Rhett put out a hand to stop her from talking and went on rocking himself on the tips of the chair. When he finally looked up, he grabbed Scarlett by the crook of her arm and pulled her into the house. "We are leaving for Charleston at once before Jeff makes a fool of the family-"

"Oh Rhett, what have I done!" cried Scarlett, frightened by the steel of his voice.

"You have ruined me- as you wished to"

"Oh, I never wished to. I never wished to-" Scarlett bared the entrance to the study and forced Rhett to look at her. "Rhett, do forgive me. Say you do. We were getting along so well. I was only so bitter with anger.. I hated your superior ways. I loathed it. That's why I said what I did. Otherwise I would have held my tongue as I did about Belle Watling-"

"What about Belle?" demanded Rhett, suddenly curious. A strange light glimmered within the depths of his blazing black eyes.

"Melly did say that Belle told her that she had a little boy-"

"Do you think Jackson Carver is Belle's boy?"

"Rhett, I-"

"Tell me!"

"I.. I don't know what to think. Why should you care about this boy? Unless.. unless-"

"Why, you little minx!" Rhett pulled her into a chair and loomed over her dangerously. "You thought he was my son?!"

Scarlett pouted in silence.

"Jackson Carver is not my son."

"Then who is he?"

Scarlett's tear dimmed eyes gazed at him, waiting. But instead of answering her Rhett collapsed into the nearby chair. "He is not my son-"


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"I was younger then- just starting my youth hood. This was before the dueling incident when I was still with my family." Rhett's voice drawled, strangely hollow and haunted. "We had a large reception at home to honor some of Father's old friends and I remember being very bored. So, I picked up a glass of drink, slipped away from the crowds and stood on the stairwell landing, looking at my grandfather's portait. It was a huge painting of him, against the backdrop of the ocean and his ship - the Savage- And that was when I met her-"

 _"I think it's a lovely portrait too- Something wild, untamed and exciting about him, isn't there? And here we are trapped in social rules and conventions when we could cast off into the open seas where adventure and fortune await- Don't you just feel a thrilling glow in all that?"_

 _Rhett looked up and saw a lovely girl by his side. Wide, lively blue eyes gazed into his, a sweet face framed by wispy golden curls revealing a soft, delicate smile._

 _"This is a portrait of my grandfather-" said Rhett, with a smile of his own._

 _"Oh! I didn't-" The girl looked startled. "Forgive me, I don't usually fling my opinions about. But with this portrait, I simply couldn't resist. I'm sorry if I seemed rude!"_

 _"Not at all! My name is Rhett Butler and I am delighted to meet you, Miss. -"_

 _"Portia Edward. Portia because my mother loved Shakespeare's play, "The Merchant of Venice" and wanted her daughter to be as bold and brave as the Portia in the story. Unfortunately I am just the opposite. I still hide behind my mother's apron strings. And Edward because my father, the late Edward Riley was an officer working for our government in Europe. I don't think Portia goes with Edward at all. Portia sounds so romantic and then ends in a dowdy crumpled mass of Edward."_

 _She giggled and continued,_

 _"But, I love my father and Edward it is. Firmly accepted and honored. And when he died, my mother and I came here to her native place, Charleston - to meet her eldest brother-"_

 _"You are Aunt. Cecelia's daughter?!"_

 _"Yes I am- Her youngest and naughtiest-"_

 _"We are cousins!"_

 _"Yes, we are."_

"She was a lovely sort of girl, Scarlett - so frail, shy, refreshingly down-to-earth and sweet. It was only a few weeks, before we were in love."

Scarlett looked up in surprise and interest.

"I took her with me several times to Charleston harbor and the docks. We dreamed the same dream - to escape to a life on the ocean. I was young and I loved showing her everything I knew. I showed her that I knew how to play poker- I mean, really play - to win.. and that I went often to the gambling houses. She disapproved but she always understood why I went. She always said that she could understand the words I did not say. That I felt trapped in my life as a Charleston gentleman. It was somehow very easy to open up to her, she was so kind and patient- She always knew when I was sad or troubled. She could read me easily-"

Rhett sighed. "Sometimes I thought.. this must be what it felt like to have motherly affection- My Mother is a lovely person, Scarlett but those were the days when I really longed for affection-"

He grunted.

"Anyway, we kept writing letters and seeing each other and one day, her mother, Aunt Cecelia, sent a coach for me and begged me to come to their house on the Battery. I went and Portia was pregnant-"

"What?!"

"That's right. You heard it right. She was in her fourth month and her tummy was starting to show. When I went into the house, her mother was in tears because she had consumed some herbal medicine to abort her pregnancy and it had poisoned her. I carried that pale , shivering girl in my arms to a doctor I knew and we were able to save her just in time- In her delirium, Portia kept on and on about the baby's father - a privateer of a large Ship, the Trident. She described him and said she didn't know what she was doing or how she could allow such a thing to happen to her. I was-"

Rhett paused and murmured. "I had visited a brothel during those days and I was immediately by her side, comforting her.. telling her she wasn't any less of a lady for doing such a thing-"

"Rhett, that is-"

"I know. I was in love. If she wanted the moon, I would have gotten it for her!"

"What happened then?"

"We spoke to my father. Father was furious and he yelled at his sister for an hour for letting such a thing happen and then he yelled at me for taking Portia to the harbor so often. He called me a reckless, fool-hardy waster- I never forgot those words."

"Did your father suggest a way to-"

"No. He only told that this news must never come to light and that Portia better be dead than to be found with a child-So, I took her to New Orleans. In the shadier sections of the town, we found a place for her to wait out the six months and she gave birth to a child. Meanwhile, I went to the docks to find the father and.."

Rhett breathed hard.

"Carver wasn't a privateer- he wasn't even an officer.. he was a common sailor- He found it funny that he was the father of a child and could be silenced with a wad of cash. I returned to New Orleans to find that she had named the boy, "Jackson Carver".. And she begged me, to keep the child in my care-"

"What?! Rhett, you didn't-"

"He became my ward-"

"How could you afford the money-"

"I couldn't. Especially when I was kicked out of the family in the next two years- And Portia-"

"What happened to her?"

Rhett rose up and he hesitated a little before sitting on the ottoman and laying his head on Scarlett's lap. And suddenly Scarlett realized that she already knew what had happened to her-


	43. Chapter 43

**Hi, readers.. thank you for your reviews! Much appreciated... :) I will be borrowing snippets from the original novel "Gone with the Wind" for this chapter.. I have used _Bold Italic_ for the novel lines... and plain **_Italic_ **for flashback scenes.**

 **Thank you very much..**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 **Chapter 43**

Scarlett's fingers weaved comfortingly through Rhett's jet black hair while her mind galloped to bring back the memories of years past.

 _ **"Listen, my baby, I won't have you take your life in your hands. Do you hear? Good God, I don't want children any more than you do, but I can support them. I don't want to hear any more foolishness out of you, and if you dare try to — Scarlett, I saw a girl die that way once. She was only a — well, but she was a pretty sort at that. It's not an easy way to die. I—"**_

 _ **"Why, Rhett!" she cried, startled out of her misery at the emotion in his voice. She had never seen him so moved. "Where — who —"**_

 _ **"In New Orleans — oh, years ago. I was young and impressionable." He bent his head suddenly and buried his lips in her hair. "You'll have your baby, Scarlett, if I have to handcuff you to my wrist for the next nine months."**_

 _ **She sat up in his lap and stared into his face with frank curiosity. Under her gaze it was suddenly smooth and bland as though wiped clear by magic. His eyebrows were up and the corner of his mouth was down.**_

 _ **"Do I mean so much to you?" she questioned, dropping her eyelids.**_

 _ **He gave her a level look as though estimating how much coquetry was behind the question. Reading the true meaning of her demeanor, he made casual answer.**_

 _ **"Well, yes. You see, I've invested a good deal of money in you, and I'd hate to lose it."**_

"Rhett, Portia was the girl you mentioned before, wasn't she? The one who died from trying to abort her baby-"

"Yes" came the reply, muffled sound from within the folds of her skirt.

"But how did it happen?"

Rhett turned his face sideways. His hands still wound around Scarlett's waist in a rough grasp.

"I never thought I would ever have to remember all this. But, this is something too painful for me to meditate upon, let alone narrate. When Portia was away in New Orleans, as much as I wanted to support her and cheer her, after seeing that Carver was an ordinary sailor I couldn't keep ignoring the truth that she wasn't what she seemed. She would speak of honor and gentility, Scarlett but her actions were starting to mismatch her words. I couldn't help thinking that she had made a very stupid mistake with Carver and that she could have done much better. She wanted to lose herself to a man and she picked a good-looking brutish sailor- This was the truth and I would have continued supporting her if she admitted it. But she wouldn't. When I heard her arguing, defending Carver as a worthy seaman and the Captain must have demoted him, I couldn't help losing some of the star dust in my eyes. She resented my sympathy and suddenly took it into her head that I was lording it over her that I was better than her- That was when she began to hurt me-"

"What did she do?"

"Nothing dramatic. Sometimes she would rush up to speak to me and then she would walk away silently, leaving me in the middle of a conversation. She would slip in snide remarks, saying I would never amount to anything, that I was nothing like my father, I was a disappointment to the family-"

"Rhett, you should have walked away from her-"

"I couldn't." said Rhett, helplessly. "I had revealed so much about myself, my hopes, my dreams, my fears - she knew too much and she used my own words against me. She'd corner me to say something about myself and then she'd laugh at me for saying so. She would call me a dreamer, a gullible fool, a disappointment- She began to invite other men to her temporary house to show me that she didn't need me and I had to clear them out. I couldn't understand why she had changed so much from the sweet girl I once knew-"

"Rhett, don't you see, baby? The lovely girl you knew from the party never really existed. She used you, Rhett- to make it look like her relationship with the sailor was some noble, glorious thing-"

"Yes, I did come to suspect it vaguely. But it was a devastating blow to my ego. I couldn't revoke custody of her son in terms of a gentleman's honor and I couldn't abandon the baby. Well, anyway- a year went by and she had ceased all communication with me. I suffered in torment because I had come to depend on her. We felt the same things, shared the same perspective- it became difficult to think on one's own again- And then, at the end of the year, I was called to Aunt Cecelia's house again. Portia was pregnant with a second child."

"Oh no!"

"Yes, she was. When she saw me, she smiled just like during the old days and began to talk as if nothing had happened between us. But this time, I was shrewd aand more importantly I was still hurting from her cutting me off without any remorse or guilt. So, I interrupted her and told her to stop seeing Carver. I reminded her of the reality of her predicament-"

Rhett paused.

"What happened then?"

"Portia worked herself up to a livid rage. She ran into her room and locked the door. She locked us out. Even now, when I recollect the defiant look on her face, a shiver runs down my spine. By the time we broke the door down, Portia was lying on the floor, crying, gasping and clutching at her stomach in pain. There were pools of blood from where she had tried to stand up and open the door but failed. She had left bloody handprints on the walls and floor and a good bit was splattered on her dress."

Rhett's eyes welled with tears.

"I'll never forget the look of terror in her eyes. She knew she had botched the manual abortion and that she was going to die. She kept begging us to save her, kept trying to stand up and there was blood- so much blood.. I ran to the door, bellowing for the coach. But just as my hand reached the door knob, my Aunt came running behind crying that Portia was dead-"

A choking cry escaped Rhett's lips. "If I had only held my tongue, Portia could have lived. But I killed her with my words-"He reached up and caught Scarlett's face in his large brown hands. "When you tumbled down the stairs with our unborn baby in you, Scarlett, I thought I'd killed you too-"

"I know. You said so to Melanie-"

But Rhett went on as if he didn't hear Scarlett. "I was waiting for your death and when you survived and didn't send for me, I knew it was all over. I knew that if I tried to confront you again, I might really kill you. And from then on, I forced myself to stop loving you."


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

Scarlett's face cleared with happiness when she heard the desperate earnestness in Rhett's voice. This was what she had wanted to hear. And she was grateful - to God and everyone else who helped them reach this tender moment. Now, she gathered her words. She would sweep him up with a rich outpouring of love.

"Aaah, darling-" she said, softly and sweetly. "Don't look back. We said some very mean things to each other and - look at me, Rhett! I'm fine now. And that's all that matters-"

"I remember coming into the hall and Bonnie was running up the flight of stairs with a kitten in her hands and I said something-"

"Oh, don't let's go through all that again!"

"I don't know what made me fly into a rage like that. No woman has ever managed to get me so ruffled so easily, Scarlett. I could see the entire scene being played out, only it was Portia and she was carrying the baby. I thought after so many years of self-discovery I surely was impregnable to further taunts-"

Scarlett's lips faintly bent in a concealed smirk. "Rhett, do you really want to know why Portia was able to hurt you? You admitted to everything - a rascal, a varmint, a Scallawag, a blackguard, a cad.. but you still wanted to be desired by a woman and you felt too ashamed to admit it. That's why when I said I ever wanted your babies or I would rather have anyone's babies than yours, you felt hurt. When you made love to me in such a fiercely passionate way, I knew that you desperately wanted to be desired by me and you were too ashamed to admit it- Just why you are ashamed is something I shall never understand-"

Scarlett stopped abruptly, her eyes fixated on Rhett's for a gleaming light was flashing in the coal black depths of his eyes. Suddenly he smiled.

And Scarlett knew that Rhett had got what he wanted out of her.

This was what he had been after all along.

He wanted to move on but he was unable to since he was still puzzled by his weakness.

But now,she, Scarlett had unwittingly shown him his one flaw worth manipulating. His shame for wanting to be desired by the very woman he held such contempt for.

"He's going to leave me" thought Scarlett, in sinking despair.

Rhett stood up, the smile turning wider into a grin.

Their eyes met once again and more words were spoken in mere looks.

"Let's leave this sordid subject, Scarlett" said Rhett, firmly. "We are leaving to Charleston and I have to make some arrangements-" He began to stride down the carpet when Scarlett's trembling voice asked him, so forlornly, so pathetically, "Rhett, you do love me, don't you?"

"I told you, I do-" replied Rhett. But Scarlett could sense plainly that there was no love in his tone.

It was over. She had lost.

Now Rhett would work hard on his hurt and one day, he would openly tell a good woman that he wanted to be desired by her and they would marry and have children and he would forget all about her.

Scarlett rose up, as if to leave the room but her knees buckled under the strain of her despair that she felt upon the ottoman and began to sob pitifully. Now her fears began to surface. She remembered India's letter. Stuart was Scarlett's beau and yet he had proposed marriage to India, Jeff Heyward had been in love with her and yet he betrayed her so blatantly. She was losing her charm. She could see the cracks in her image appearing. She could see the emptiness slowly closing in on her - the darkness, the mist..

And in a blinding moment, she remembered a memory from the past.

She was a little girl, crying and clinging to her mother's skirts - hiccoughing.. and she looked up and saw a rosary in Ellen's hand and a pair of cold, dead eyes stared back at her. They were Ellen's eyes - humorless, placid and dead. And Scarlett remembered being frightened by the utter lack of empathy on Ellen's part to understand her injured feelings. She remembered her mother's hands, disentangling.. again and again.. her frantic grip on her dress and handing her over to the waiting clutches of Mammy without any concern, any question or any curiosity. As Scarlett left the room, she saw her mother turn back to the rosary and turn her flat, listless eyes back in penitence to God.

Scarlett instantly rubbed away her tears and stood up firmly. She suppressed her memory for the pain was too much to comprehend. She would think about it tomorrow. Scarlett looked up and summoning all her charm and pride in a defying front , she squared her shoulders.

Suddenly she felt two large warm brown hands encircle her waist and she whirled around in a startled gasp and Rhett claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

"Rhett, you are my soul" managed Scarlett, between hot kisses on her lips. "Don't leave me-" She threw her arms around him and pulled him close.

"I'm not going to-"

"Rhett, you aren't perfect and we are meant for each other."

"Yes, I can see that-"

"Tell me why you love me. You are my soul and I need you to feel emotions and share your feelings with me so that I can claim them as my own. Tell me why you need me? What could I possibly have that can interest you?"

Rhett pulled back and Scarlett's eyes were glowing in tender warmth. There was a gentle light in those charming green eyes- the eyes he had matched with that watered silk bonnet, the eyes which teased him , defied him during the bazaar when he met her the second time, the flashing green eyes in the firehouse prison, the hungry green eyes of a cat- Now they carried a soft light, a look he had seen only once- for Ashley.

"I love you for your eyes and I will see to it that they never lose their spirited glow-"

Now Scarlett knew he had spoken the truth. Eagerly she reached up to place her lips upon his.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Scarlett's voice rose sullen and annoyed from behind the shades where she was changing her clothes. Rhett's room was well aired,tidied and glowing with just the right touch of romance by the light of tall, silver candle stand. Rhett sat on her bed, swinging his long legs with impatience, his white shirt unbuttoned to his waist.

"Great balls of fire!" muttered Scarlett, angrily. "The things I do just to please you!"

"Well, you've taken enough time about it." chirped Rhett, grinning to himself. He lazily leaned over and fingered the lace on Scarlett's many pillows borrowed from her room. "Come out and let us take a look at you, honey-"

"Rhett Butler, if you don't keep your end of the bargain-" began Scarlett, fuming.

"Fear not, fair maiden, I shall not deceive thee-"

"Well, all right then-" Scarlett stepped out from behind the shades, annoyance still written plainly on her face. But when her green eyes caught Rhett grinning at her, still swinging his legs in an unusually boyish way, which she had almost never seen in him, she broke into a grin as well.

"That's better" approved Rhett, approaching her, his eyes raking her from head to toe. His face grew grave. "I am very serious about this, Scarlett. If we are to live together, we need to set rules and boundaries. And since we have both discovered each other's flaws and decided to take each other down a peg or two, we must keep up our bargain with an ardent zeal-"

Scarlett gazed at him warily. Her hair was only roughly combed and framed her oval face in ordinary pre-war curls, which she felt made her look old-fashioned and frumpy. Her lips were pale and her cheeks were unstained by rouge. And to her greatest irritation, she was wearing a simple, old calico dress. A little like the dress she used to wear when aiding Dr. Meade at the Atlanta hospital before the Great Seige.

"Aaaahh, the real Scarlett- simple and sweet, if it weren't for that discomfiting glint in your eyes that could fire flaming darts at me if they wanted to!"

"I wish they would" said Scarlett, morosely.

"Think of what this does for your vanity, my dear- "said Rhett, drawing her to him and slipping his arms around her waist. His lips touched the back of her neck and he drew a long breath. "Is that perfume I smell?"

"No, you know very well I didn't use any of my lovely scented jasmine water-"

"Just as well. I can finally appreciate you, just as you are- a lovely young woman, with a fine head for business, a strong bull-dog willpower and lively green eyes that could convey extremes of emotion from passionate love to vengeful rage-"

Scarlett began to smile when the same brown hands felt her tummy. "You have put on a little weight, haven't you?"

"Never mind!" she snapped, sharply. "If you had allowed me to wear my new corset, I could have tucked my waist to nineteen inches!"

"All right, smooth your ruffled feathers, I was only teasing you."

"Now, let's have your end of the bargain-" said Scarlett firmly. She pushed away Rhett's hands and walked several paces away from him. Rhett's expression grew blank for a moment as he climbed back into the bed and looked up at her from over a pile of pillows. He sighed.

"Scarlett, come here- I want you to make love to me-"

"My goodness, you sounded so dull and lifeless, I almost thought you were asking me to bury you in a grave! Try again.. only this time, with a little more spirit-" Scarlett giggled. She was now beginning to enjoy herself.

"Scarlett" said Rhett, smiling and putting out his hand. She slid her hand into his and he pulled her onto his chest. "I want you to make love to me-"

"That's better" approved Scarlett, looking into his eyes and finding sincerity and amusement in them. "What would you like me to do for you?"

"Kiss me. Kiss me as if you have never kissed me before-"

Scarlett slid her fingers through Rhett's hair while her hand cupped the side of his swarthy face. She began to kiss him, gently at first and gradually growing more intense and insistent. She felt his arms sliding over her shoulders and back when he suddenly gave a start. "What's this?!"

Rhett's fingers had caught on a hole in Scarlett's dowdy calico dress, just over her breast.

"I told you this was an old dress. I was keeping it just for memory's sake-"

"Well, then-"

Rhett's fingers tore the hole wider, revealing the naked tops of her breasts and she pulled his hand away at once. "What are you doing?!""

"You can't stay in that dress forever. I was only helping you-"

"You needn't have to tear it off my back!

"I didn't realize you were so sentimental"

"There are many things you don't know about me, Rhett. I too am sentimental- Why do you think-"

Suddenly they both heard a soft knock on the door. "Mist. Rhett?" came Mammy's voice, in respectful low tones. "Miss. Pittypat Hamilton sent word that if you were to take the children to her house tomorrow in the afternoon, she'd care for them till you return back home, Sir- Uncle Peter is waiting just outside. Shall I tell him-"

"Er, yes Mammy, we'll leave Wade and Ella at their Aunt's house." A mischievous look came into his eyes. "Mammy, did Miss. Scarlett tell you to mend her old calico dress. The one she had been fondly saving just for memory sake?"

"No, Sir"

"Well, I happen to have it here with me" said Rhett, deftly undressing Scarlett, in unceremonious haste.

"Rhett, dont'!" cried Scarlett, in a flustered whisper. "You don't know Mammy. She will guess things and spread news all over the house!"

"Hush hush, darling!"

"Hush up, yourself!"

They tumbled over each other to the door but just before Rhett could throw the calico to Mammy, Scarlett puled at her, causing it to tear loudly again. Mammy's eyes grew round from the other side of the door. She realized that Captain Butler wasn't alone. Wordlessly, she waddled down the passage and back down the stairwell.

Meanwhile Rhett and Scarlett had dissolved to tears of mirth. They were in a tabgled heap on the floor, the torn calico beneath them. Then they began to make love.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

They were both breathing hard as they nestled in a warm embrace under the glimmering light of the candle flames. Scarlett clutched the covers to her bare chest and poked at the pile of torn calico near her toes. She giggled to herself and then leaned up mischievously to gaze at Rhett's face. "Rhett" she said, her eyes glittering in the dark. "It was wonderful, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was" replied Rhett and dropped an affectionate kiss on her hair.

Scarlett sighed in happiness. She began to hum and inspect the enormous diamond ring on her finger. "You know, the next time we go to New Orleans, I'm going to have this changed. I want a diamond ring, yes.. but this one is entirely too vulgar for my taste-"

Rhett began to chuckle and she dug him in his ribs. "Now hush up- I mean it. Every time I visit the Merriweather's or the Meades, this ring screams out its presence and it.. it makes things very awkward- for everybody else and .. and for me-"

"Well, why didn't you ask me to change it before?"

"I meant to- But everyone was so nasty to me before that I just wanted to flaunt all my riches and make them pea green with envy-"

"Am I to believe that you might possess a fine taste in riches after all?"

"You never give me a chance, Rhett."

"All right, I won't tease you." said Rhett, good humoredly. "But I've always wondered-"

"Wondered what?"

"I've always wondered why you were so attracted to Ashley Wilkes when he hadn't a penny to support himself or the backbone for hard work-"

"It might seem silly to you, but throughout my childhood, I always seemed to be doing the wrong thing, Rhett. And when I ran to Mother for comfort, she would be so kind and so gentle- She would expect good things from me, good virtues- She would expect those things in me- things which I never really could be, but I would have liked to be. And she was just wonderful that way-"

"But you never honestly told her what you did-"

"Oh no!" Scarlett blushed. "Mother would have been horrified! And in Ashley, I saw the same quality. He believed such lovely things about me. That I was sweet and kind and good- And he was morally upright-"

Rhett's eyebrows rose in sarcastic crescents but Scarlett continued. "Oh I know Ashley lived off my money and perhaps as you say, he was entirely moral to allow me to take so many risks to save his family and Tara- But then after that night when you made love to me, for the first time, I saw that you could feel things and part of me admitted that you were right to bundle me off to Melly's reception for Ashley- If I hadn't shown up, the entire town would have cast me out-"

"I loved you-"

"Yes, I know- And I love you. You feel deeply and despite what you say, you are a gentleman. You behaved honorably during the war, saved the lives of Ashley, Dr. Meade, Hugh and the rest during the Klu Klux Klan shootout and now after you told me what you did for Portia and your own family-"

"Scarlett, please you embarrass me-"

"Do you think that I don't know- After Bonnie was born, how much you had changed. For the first time, you seemed so sensitive, so proud and .. and-"

"Happy" completed Rhett, a queer wistfulness in his eyes. "I was happy-"

"Yes." smiled Scarlett. "You gave in to everything she wanted. She was so precious and we.. we indulged in her every whim-"

"You mean, me-" said Rhett, bitterly.

"Rhett-"

"For how many nights I cursed myself for raising the bar for that damned pony to jump over-" A strangled sob escaped Rhett's lips and Scarlett fell silent.

"Yes, I over indulged with Bonnie. She was a precious ray of sunshine- so full of life and spirit. I loved her and she loved me- but I let her down- So, when you finally told me that you cared for me, I couldn't care because I hated myself- I only wanted to hurt you-"

"Now, that's all over. Only listen to what I say. Yes, you were over indulgent. If Bonnie had gone on, she would have grown up with a swollen head and very very spoilt. Pa spoilt me just like this. He used to say I was so pretty that I could have any beau in the three Counties and I believed him. It isn't the right way to bring up a child-"

"I suppose not" agreed Rhett, reluctantly.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

"Now when we have another child, I will take good care of it and be around more often to say a firm "no" to its demands-" said Scarlett, smiling smugly to herself. Rhett tipped her head back and stared at her with only a the faintest hint of grim humor in his eyes. "Madam, if I were to remember correctly, the only word you seemed to know concerning a child's needs was "no". No, Bonnie could cry herself to sleep and didn't need to be comforted. No, we needn't push her pram down the street when we had servants for it. No, she doesn't need to wear velvets. Black broadcloth would be all right. No kissing in front of visitors, no silly games, no tantrums, no temper- Sometimes I wondered if you even knew what it was to be like a child!"

"Oh, and you do? snapped back Scarlett.

"I admit I don't know everything about raising a child but I do know a few things. Children like to be held, kissed and made a fuss over. They can't understand anything else. And when we give them all this, they turn out happy and full of life."

"Well, you only seem to know the word "yes" to children- Yes, Bonnie can wear velvets even though she is only a little miss. Yes, Bonnie can eat sweets when you know what they do to her stomach. Yes, Wade can visit Melly's as much as he wanted even though he had lessons to do- The moment Bonnie is born, you made such grand plans for her and set about with such vigor. You can't make a person like that, Rhett-"

"Nonsense. I only brought out the fire that was already in my little Bonnie." He sighed heavily. "She would have made a fine horsewoman. And anyway, I brought out everything that was in you, didn't I?"

"I don't know what you mean-"

"I'm sure you do. Everything of what you are, except for that vein of Irish peasantry which I cannot seem to pluck out- everything else, is because I goaded and teased you. If I hadn't come along, you would have still remained Charlie's poor widow - the sweet and cunning Mrs. Hamilton-"

Suddenly Scarlett raised her hand to Rhett's lips.

"Stop!" she cried.

"What is it?"

"This.. this is the exact sneering tone that inspires me to think of something crushing to break your spirit. You always called me a cat with claws but you never realize that you were the one who provokes me - every time-"

"I was merely stating the truth-"

"I can't stand so much truth! I never could!"

"Then we are different-"

"But every time I hurt you, a part of me wants to see you rise up again - to be the dashing blockader, the odious pirate, the ungentlemanly cad I fell in love with-"

"So that you can crush me again?"

"Don't talk like that." said Scarlett, tears springing up in her green eyes. "Why can't you stop being so nasty?"

Rhett shrugged coolly. "I never thought I was. I can't change, Scarlett. Neither can you, although you put up quite a show of it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this - you show up at Charleston, accompany me everywhere, bring me here, ask me to stay - you never stopped to think if this is what I want. You sense that I am lonely, depressed and in despair ..even but you cannot go past your own selfish needs to have a lover. As much as I love you, I cannot be with you-"

"What.. are.. are you leaving me again?"

"Well.." Rhett hesitated. "I am planning on embarking on my sea-faring life again. As I told you once before, this time I am going to work harder and hoard some really useful skills and not manipulate the system as I used to before. And all my voyages will take me away from you for three months at least. I shall write passionate letters to you, you shall send me thoughtful little gifts and when we meet, I shall make passionate love to you. But can't you see, if we stay together, we shall only destroy each other."

Scarlett threw her arms around the warm brown chest she had come to lean on for comfort and security and her tears fell unchecked upon Rhett. "What shall I do?"

Rhett raised his brows but he spoke with kindness. "You shall not abandon yourself. I am going to set you up in the blockading business as well."

Scarlett looked up in wide surprise.

"Yes, don't look at me like that. I know that you can't get along by yourself for very long without drawing some kind of unwanted attention to yourself. You are far too intelligent.. too good for this society that is still hard and rigid as much as it is noble and good.. How would you like to be one of the partners who will lease me my ships?"

Scarlett let out a squeal of pleasure. "Rhett, I-" She kissed him hard and threw her arms around his neck tightly. "I would love to-"

"Well, that's settled- now coming to the matter at hand. The subject of child-rearing-"

Scarlett interjected. "When we have another child, we'll raise it together. I'll be around to say "no" more often and you can say "yes" if you ever want to- I do want to be a good Mother. It's just that I can never understand people like you do. I.. I worked and slaved at Tara just to see Wade eat something more than those beastly yams and it tore me apart to see him avoiding me and having such a good time with Melly. Even now, once in a while, he stares at me, frightened and tip toes around as if I might take a strap to him like some senseless banshee-"

Rhett laughed at this. But he looked vaguely puzzled. Suddenly his brow cleared. "I'll tell you what, Scarlett. I'll get Wade in here and we will ask him what he wants and you say "yes" to it"

"To what?"

"Whatever he wants-"

"Rhett, don't be silly. It's past midnight and-"

Rhett was hardly listening as he swung his long legs out from underneath the mattress and threw on his dressing gown to go and find Wade.


End file.
